Monday, August 4, 2008

No Need to Pretend

First off, Hayley Grace had a great 7th birthday! I'll post pictures at a later time.

And now. On my mind today...pretending. I observed my sweet grown up 7 year old this weekend. She was pretending to be a rock star. She wore the sunglasses, tossed her hair around, strutted and sang her favorite Mylie Cyrus/Hannah Montana tunes. She was NOT Hayley Grace. Understand that. For that moment in time, she was Hannah Montana. She was pretending. And why not? Being a rich and famous rock star seems much more fun than being "just Hayley Grace"! (Her words not mine.)

Watching this innocent playtime, brought my thoughts to a more serious subject. Pretending. Not as a young child, but a full grown woman. Do you ever pretend? Maybe you don't call it pretending, but don't you find yourself putting on a front or a pleasant everything is okay face occasionally? I do. I admit it. I pretend sometimes. Why? Because I don't think I'm good enough the way I am.

When I get quiet with the Lord, I know that I am good enough. His Word tells me so. But the world doesn't tell me so. I get criticized. I receive comments that bring me down. I hear a friend talk about me. Or my husband points something out that is hurtful. My kids misbehave in public. I'm on medication for anxiety and depression. I don't want anyone to know these things. Pretending is necessary, right? BIG FAT WRONG!

My Princess...Be Real With Me,

You are precious and beautiful to Me. You never need to
pretend to be something other than who I made you to be. I don't want you to try to impress Me by pretending that all is perfect in your life, My love. I want you to find great freedom in being real with Me. The
more real you become, the better you will relate to others. No more
pretending, My princess. I love you just the way you are, and I want you to be real with Me in all you do and say. I gave My life for you so you could live free to be yourself. Don't let anyone steal your joy by turning you into something fake. Be true to yourself and be true to Me, because I love the real you.

Your True King

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is,
there is freedom." 2 Cornithians 3:17 (NIV)

(Sheri Rose Shepherd, "His Princess...")

Now, if we can be ourselves before the Creator of all things, the mighty and powerful God of this universe, then surely we can be ourselves before the other people around us. What I've found out about putting up a front is that it's exhausting. Just like Hayley Grace eventually tires of being Hannah Montana and goes back to being just "plain Hayley Grace", we will grow tired of trying to be someone we are not. Just plain me is actually ok.

I know I will never please everyone and I will mess up...a lot, but that's life. I try to learn from it. I'd like it if my life were a little neater and prettier, but it is what it is. I'm good with that.

No need to pretend. Are you with me?

Lots of Love,



Joyful said...

Oh, the masks I have worn. Do you remember the song, "The Great Pretender"? I could have written it! My "tickle trunk" is full of constumes. (Did you have the "Mr. Dress-up" TV program in the States?) I often think of that song from Phantom of the Opera, "Masquarade, painted faces on parade, Turn around, there's another face behind you".

Casting Crowns sing that song about the "Stain Glass Masquarade" and how prevelant the whole "pretending" thing is even in Christian circles. In the song it asks, if we dare to let others see who we really are...

As you know, I've known the exhaustion of costuming. So thankful God is at work dropping that guard and helping me be me.

Thanks for accepting me the way I am.
Love, prayers and hugs,

Anonymous said...

Great post! Yes I hear you, believe you and agree with you! However, it is so hard not to pretend. Funny thing is probably much harder pretending then if we would just be real. Maybe if we can tear one wall down at the time, taking away one layer of pride at a time. i am certain that this is even harder for those of us who feel we must do everything perfectly and be everything to everybody. I truly have been working on this process for the last couple of years. I think I'm getting better, I think!
Love your honesty.
Blessings, Margaret

Karan said...

I'm so glad that you said that you would like your life to be "neater and prettier." I often "wish" my life did not have any "messy" spots. But I have been blessed by God in that He is sinking it deep within me that He loves me just as I am.

Let me selfishly say that I, for one, am glad that God has someone such as yourself, who can understand how I feel and put it into words.

So, let's praise God today that we are here to minister to each other. Let us do good where we can, when we can, to whom we can.
Again, thank you for encouraging us to "get real."
In His Love and Hope

Jen said...


Almost everything you have said about your life, I can relate to... And this post is also something I can relate to... I constantly pretend that things are ok when my world is crashing down on me... For me I feel that sometimes it is easier to pretend than saying how you really feel. Like for instance at points I feel as if I just want to be dead and I think that it would be easier if I were, now how many people do you think would actually say something like that (unless it is to your counselor and dr.).... um not many that I know of! A lot of people can see past me which can be good in a way but at the same time, sometimes I don't want to talk or think about it... I call this the Christian "F" word... fine.. You also need to be careful who you tell certain things to.... so yeah!! Thank you for always writing about applicable things in my life!! You are such a blessing!!!! ~ Jen

P.S. Do you mind if I use some of the poems that you have posted??

Tameka said...

The best actress in the world. Or so I used to say about myself when I worked at a call center. I would tell my co-workers that it was all about acting (in order to give great customer service). Little did anyone know that it wasn't only with great customer service that I was acting.

I think I've spent so much of my life doing just that, that it's hard for me (now) to discover who I truly am.

After reading all the books & listening to sermons - I'm still searching.

Melissa, thank you for reminding me that the Lord is the only One who truly knows. And as long as I continue to seek Him - I'll eventually find me.

Be Blessed.