Thursday, November 27, 2008

Good Day, Bad Day....

Happy Thanksgiving! It was a good day for the most part. The food was amazing. There was no stress. We all agreed early on to "go with the flow". And we did.

Building up to this day, I've been a little emotional. I just kept thinking about my mom and her cancer and how the future is just so sketchy and unknown. I wrote a while back about not being able to cry. Well, that's not a problem any more. I broke down for the first time on Monday, and I broke down again today.

My mom called this morning. She wasn't feeling good at all. She stayed home instead of coming over for Thanksgiving. That's when it hit me. If my mom feels so bad that she's missing Thanksgiving....she must really feel bad. Already I had been sad just thinking that this might be her last Thanksgiving...but then that she wasn't coming and I might not get the last Thanksgiving...well, that broke me. As he always is, Jeff was right there for me. He loved me and got teary eyed with me and asked what he could do. Then I called my friend Donna. OMGsh....she dropped everything to listen. We ended our call in prayer when she prayed for my mom and for me.

Even though my mom not being able to be here was a major bummer, I must say, the day was still one I am thankful for. We had 16 people here in our home. Jeff's family was here. My sister and her family were here. My husband and kids were here. My dad was here. And he said the most amazing prayer before dinner. We had great food and too much of it! The kids had so much fun. Little Granny, who is 90 years old, won the Farmer's Golf Competition. Hayley Grace set up an "art station" and we all made cards for my mom. We watched Home Alone...which is a tradition here on Thanksgiving. A good day indeed.

So, on the one hand, I have so much to be thankful for. But on the other, the day was missing a very important and valuable mother. I'm left still wanting more. She has felt miserable all week, yet she still cooked the dressing, and the macaroni & cheese, and the gravy. And it was sooooooooo good. Really good. What an incredible mother and grandmother. She knows how much we absolutely love her cooking and she made her Thanksgiving specialties. I really missed her today. I'm hoping to go visit her tomorrow. I guess this will continue to be tough. Not something I want to go through. Certainly not something my mom wants to go through. But something God will carry us through.

Blessings to you on this Thanksgiving. I hope you had a wonderful day. And have a great weekend too! ****It's rivalry weekend ya know.....My Gamecocks better kick some Tiger boohiney!!!!!



Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

Thanksgiving. What is the holiday all about anyway? Indians? Pilgrims? The Mayflower? Corn?

Well, I guess originally, Thanksgiving was all about giving thanks for freedom and learning about the land and how to provide. What do I do with it now in 2008? I'll tell you. Because I think I know this year better than ever before.

I have been thankful for my family and friends. I've been thankful for my home, clothes, transportation, and work. This year, more than ever, I'm thankful for life. I'm thankful for the lives of my family. I'm thankful for the lives of my friends.

Wherever you are, I pray you enjoy those you are with. God bless you.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Sunday, November 23, 2008

Hey There...

I tried to come up with a more appealing title. "Hey There" was all I could come up with. Maybe because I'm so out of practice blogging......but dang, time has just flown by and I've been busy and my mind has been preoccupied, but I really have missed writing and reading in this bloggy world. It's one of those things where each day, I intend to blog and get caught up on others' blogs, but then all of a sudden it's 9:00 pm and time for beddy bye. It's hard to know where I should begin.

My mom is doing ok. Not much has changed. She has lung cancer. Stage 4. That stinks.

But, her spirits have been good. She began chemo this week. God love her, she is amazing.

I'm really excited about this upcoming week. My sister and her family are coming here for Thanksgiving, my dad will be here, my husband's family will be here, and my mom and her husband will be here too. It's the first time that my mom and dad will be present at a holiday gathering together in over 27 years. Wow. I'm so thankful for that. They are at a place where they get along and can look back with love and understanding.

Last Friday, I spoke at a Christmas event for First Baptist Church, Matthews, NC. I was SO NERVOUS!!! The reason I was nervous was because of who was there. 2 of the women on the Proverbs 31 Speaker Team were there. That made me nervous, although it shouldn't have. It was Wendy Pope and Tracie Miles....both so sweet....but I was still nervous to speak in front of them because they are both such great speakers. Also, my mom was there to hear me for the very first time. She has never heard me speak before. I just wanted to make her proud. But I also wanted her to feel like she was greatly responsible for me delivering the message being presented. Because she was. Also in the audience were 3 women I went to high school with. I wasn't expecting that! It's so much easier talking to strangers than friends! But, God was with me and what could go wrong? Nothing. It was a beautiful night.

Well, it's late and I need to go to bed. Good night. I pray that you are filled with peace, love, joy, and blessings.

Much Love,

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I Tried to Cry Today

I have been needing a good cry for a while now. But the tears have not come. Why? Why not? I don't know.

My sister called me today. She let out a cry of regret. She confessed to me that she has not been a good daughter to our mother. And she is hurting today because of it. (now I don't agree with her...and neither does our mother, but she is recounting her past and feeling bad about it....I do know what that feels like.)

You see, my mom has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. It has been a major wake up call to my family. We knew life was precious and a gift, but that has been magnified times 1000! Now it's my mom they are talking about. I'm not ready for this.

Usually, I'm the crier in the family. I easily cry. Not Tricia, my sister. She's the strong one. The tough girl who can take it. With the latest trial in our lives though, our roles are reversed. She's crying like crazy and I haven't been able to cry at all....and that bothers me. I feel like crying. I don't know if I'm ignoring my feelings or just trying to stand strong. Just when I feel like I could let it all go, I don't. I think I'm partially numb and also partially scared and mad and sad and just in disbelief. Not my mother. No, please. I need her too much.

I have never been through anything like this in my life. And I don't like it one bit. Please pray for my mom. She's such an amazing mom.



Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I support the President

I am not going to tell you who I voted for. I don't think it matters at this point. But I believe, with all my heart, if you want to be beautiful in America, you need to support our leader. It doesn't mean you voted for him. It doesn't mean you agree with everything he does. But it does mean that you pray for him and continue to pray for him. Lift him up to God and trust God with His provision for our country.

So, Barack Obama, you have my prayers. I will be praying for you and your family and your leadership over our country. God chose you long ago. And I trust God.

Be Blessed,


Monday, November 3, 2008

Wonderful Weekend!

Why do wonderful weekends have to end?

I don't work on Fridays anymore, so my weekends seem a little longer...or at least I have a little more time at home. This week/weekend was one of those special ones.

Tuesday, my mom came to visit for the afternoon. We had such a great time. She's still waiting to start her chemo and we just value each moment with her so much.

Wednesday, I drove to Greenville to pick up my dad. He visited with us until Sunday and it was great to have him here. The first night he was here, we carved our pumpkin. Here are me and my sweet kids.

Thursday, Hayden's football team, the South Charlotte Shockers, FINALLY won their first game. They are no longer 0-5, but 1-5. And do you know why???? Because I brought the Cowbell...yes that's right. It had nothing to do with outplaying the other team. It was the first time I brought the Cowbell. I was loud, vocal, and obnoxious. And we won. Yeah!

Friday I was off work. My dad and I spent the day together shopping. And Friday night we went Trick or Treating with the kids. We had such a great time. We went to Jeff's parents' neighborhood. After trick or treating, we watched the Appalachian/Wofford football game. Yes, we dominated! 70-24, we won. Good times.

Saturday, the winning streak continued. It is very rare that all my teams win, but this weekend they did. Florida beat Georgia (big time!) and South Carolina beat Tennessee! And we went to a fun party hosted by our good friends Kenny and Denise. The kids got to dress up and it was so fun! Here are Hayley Grace and Sydney...or actually 2 enchanted witches!

Sunday, we woke up an hour late (loved that with the time change) and went to church. Then we took my dad back to Greenville, SC. While there, we visited my Aunt June and Uncle Doug. It was a great ending to a great week.

When weeks like this end, I feel quite bittersweet. It's bitter because it had to end and it was good. It's sweet, because there were terrific memories made and I wish I could freeze time and hold on to them.

Honestly, since my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I just have come to realize how precious time and life it. I mean, I always thought it. But now I just want to hold on to it. I want to appreciate and grasp what a gift life is. I never doubted the gift of life from God, but now that we are facing the possibility of death, it has become more precious to me. It should have been that way all along.

My article in the P31 Woman has gotten great response so far. Not so much for my writing ability, but just for sharing a struggle that so many deal with...anxiety and depression. I have received a lot of confirmation that voicing my struggles with it was a good thing. Thank you God! I was so nervous about it!

Well, I need to run. We are watching home movies tonight. I'm so thankful for a great week and weekend. And my family. And my friends.

Pray for the election tomorrow. It's a big one, but I'm not worried because I know God Who is in control.