Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Grass Ain't Always Greener...

I received an email today. The person wrote, "I read your blogs and look at your pictures and just wish I had your life. Your family is so happy. Your husband loves you and communicates with you. Your kids seem so sweet, happy, and behaved. No wonder you can be so positive. It must be nice..."

At first this email kind of hurt my feelings. And it kind of made me mad. Then I realized that it came from someone who is unhappy and when she looks at my life from an outsider's point of view, it appears real good. I try to share the good and the bad, being open and honest, but without sharing too much. My life is so far from goody goody and perfect. My family is awesome, but oh how we work at it. And it's not been easy. We've pain and heartache just like everyone else. And sure my husband loves me. We've had a year of marriage counseling to help preserve that love. Again, it hasn't been easy. Ooh, and those sweet, happy, and behaved kids...:) , you keep telling yourself that. Ha! Boy do we have you fooled! Seriously, they are good kids, but they have their moments believe me. Heck, one of them even had to go the principal's office for cursing in Korean! That's all I'll say about that!

I share all of this to say, be careful not to think that just because something appears near perfect that it is. We have our share of problems, I for sure do, but I just don't write about them everyday. They aren't the focus of my life. As I looked over the past few posts, it does look like we are just always having a blast over here! I wrote about the fun and exciting things. I neglected to write about the ring around my toilet that needs to be cleaned, the mound of laundry waiting to be done, the disagreement my husband and I had last week, the new medication one of my kids started that is keeping him awake at night, my dog peeing on the carpet, the clutter on my kitchen counters, my dad whose health is not good, my aching back, the black roots growing out of my head, my car breaking down on Tuesday, popping the big zit on the nose of a person in my family who I will not name, 2 friends who called me crying this week, or the yelling and screaming I did when my kids would not do as told 25 times the other day! (although if you've read much of my stuff, I do write about that too!) With that said, I wouldn't trade places with anyone in the world, because I am where God wants me to be.

Lysa TerKeurst wrote in one of her books, "The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it." I admit, it often looks a lot greener somewhere else, but the truth is, you just can't tell. Not unless you are living it.

This past year I spent a lot of time "watering my side of the grass". And I'm thankful it's greener today than previously. But it won't stay that way unless I continue to water it. The best water I've found, prayer and faith and a relationship with Jesus. Don't spend time wishing you could be like someone else. Be who God made you to be and water your space well.

Before I go, I have to mention, I am so glad it's Thursday. College football starts tonight and this football fanatic couldn't be happier! So, off I go to prepare a feast of munchies for the family and prepare to watch our South Carolina Gamecocks whoop a little Wolfpack boohiney!




Joyful said...

Melissa, I can so identify with what you wrote. Just a couple of days ago a special friend sent me an e-mail that said...and I quote, "You have such a sweet pure heart and a great attitude." Those words, as kind as they were, stung. My reactions recently have not been 'sweet' and definitely not 'pure'. Words have rolled off my tongue at home that have been unkind and accusing. My nerves have pushed me to the edge and over as my mind races to the possibilities and extended ramifications of dealing with my Mom's injury and my Dad's challenges. There are so many days when my reactions are far from 'sweet' and my thoughts definitely not 'pure'.

I wrote a couple of posts (one on each of my blogs) to express how the 'grass' really looked in my life right now - and it was 'cathartic'. (One post was titled "Embrace or Endure" and the other "Clean Sweep")

Hope you're enjoying your football game. That's one sport I can never understand....*sorry*...but, then again, I'm not

Love & hugs,

Kelly said...

Thanks, Melissa...good post. I have sometimes looked at other women at church or work and thought because they looked together on the outside (kept their weight down, exercised, dressed nice, etc.) that they had everything altogether but found out later it was not the case.
Would that we all just accept ourselves and love ourselves and others as God does, and just be genuine with ourselves and others. I appreciate your realness... I loved the pic of your toaster this week, I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it
"Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart"....
Blessings to you,

Anonymous said...

Can I just say that I cannot wait to hug you in October when you get here! Isn't it just something that God had me not see this post yesterday and read it today because thats when I needed it the most! Now if you will excuse me I need to go water my grass as it seems to be really dry today.
Sweet Sweet Blessings,

Mari said...

Thank you thank you for posting this. From the outside other's lives can appear so perfect. But we all know there was only perfect human and He's currently residing in heaven!

I've done the comparison thing. It either makes you unhappy or prideful. I prefer not to engage in either of those. I pray whoever wrote you is blessed by your post today. I know I was.

Stephanie Brandt said...

I went to my mother-in-law's blog (Susanne Scheppmann) and decided for some reason to click on yours. Great entry, just what all women need to hear. Thanks. :)

Laurie Ann said...

I can relate to what you've posted here. I don't tend to put the not so great part of my life on my blogs either. Only close personal friends know when I'm having a flare-up of a chronic illness I have - many don't know I have it. I don't write about the bad, mostly because, like you, I choose not to focus on it. Life is awesome everyday with Jesus on my side, and watering my grass with the Word of the Lord actually helps a lot of the negativity either go away or me not obsess over it - not sure which, LOL! God bless you as you face your struggles like we all do, and keep on writing as you're called to do. You're an encouragement to me!