Thursday, November 27, 2008

Good Day, Bad Day....

Happy Thanksgiving! It was a good day for the most part. The food was amazing. There was no stress. We all agreed early on to "go with the flow". And we did.

Building up to this day, I've been a little emotional. I just kept thinking about my mom and her cancer and how the future is just so sketchy and unknown. I wrote a while back about not being able to cry. Well, that's not a problem any more. I broke down for the first time on Monday, and I broke down again today.

My mom called this morning. She wasn't feeling good at all. She stayed home instead of coming over for Thanksgiving. That's when it hit me. If my mom feels so bad that she's missing Thanksgiving....she must really feel bad. Already I had been sad just thinking that this might be her last Thanksgiving...but then that she wasn't coming and I might not get the last Thanksgiving...well, that broke me. As he always is, Jeff was right there for me. He loved me and got teary eyed with me and asked what he could do. Then I called my friend Donna. OMGsh....she dropped everything to listen. We ended our call in prayer when she prayed for my mom and for me.

Even though my mom not being able to be here was a major bummer, I must say, the day was still one I am thankful for. We had 16 people here in our home. Jeff's family was here. My sister and her family were here. My husband and kids were here. My dad was here. And he said the most amazing prayer before dinner. We had great food and too much of it! The kids had so much fun. Little Granny, who is 90 years old, won the Farmer's Golf Competition. Hayley Grace set up an "art station" and we all made cards for my mom. We watched Home Alone...which is a tradition here on Thanksgiving. A good day indeed.

So, on the one hand, I have so much to be thankful for. But on the other, the day was missing a very important and valuable mother. I'm left still wanting more. She has felt miserable all week, yet she still cooked the dressing, and the macaroni & cheese, and the gravy. And it was sooooooooo good. Really good. What an incredible mother and grandmother. She knows how much we absolutely love her cooking and she made her Thanksgiving specialties. I really missed her today. I'm hoping to go visit her tomorrow. I guess this will continue to be tough. Not something I want to go through. Certainly not something my mom wants to go through. But something God will carry us through.

Blessings to you on this Thanksgiving. I hope you had a wonderful day. And have a great weekend too! ****It's rivalry weekend ya know.....My Gamecocks better kick some Tiger boohiney!!!!!




Joyful said...

I'm so sorry your Mom was unable to be with you yesterday. I was praying for all of you early in the morning. I don't understand why that didn't happen, but God still calls us to trust Him and believe that His plans are best - even when they don't seem to make sense.

It sounds like you did have a good day with the rest of your family. I love the idea of Hayley Grace and her "art station" - how precious. No doubt all day there was an overshadowing longing for your Mom. I trust today the Lord gives you a special visit with her - one that He had already desired for you as He works from His pre-arranged plan.

Love, prayers and hugs
PS. I AM cooking a turkey tomorrow and celebrating with my American friends :o)

Anonymous said...

Hey There,
I thought of you on thanksgiving. I am glad you had a good thanksgiving and at the same time sorry your mom couldn't join you. Thank goodness for the friend you have to lean on Jesus, and of course a wonderful husband and friend. I will continue to pray for you. I do hope you had some sweet time to spend with your mom.

Amy Carroll said...

Oh, friend. My heart broke when I read about your mom at home on Thanksgiving and how you all missed her. This is one of those times that it really stinks to live in a fallen world. I'm so sorry about your mom's sickness and your sadness.

I'm sitting at my computer procrastinating instead of finishing my message for this weekend! I love what I'm working on, though. The theme of the event is "WITH", as in Immanuel, God With Us. I'm thankful that even though I can't be with you during this time that I know that there is One who is always with you especially through pain and tears.

Hugs (wishing I was with you),

Renee Swope said...

Oh Melissa, this just breaks my heart!!! I wish I'd known when I talked to you Saturday or saw you today. Sweetie, I just want to make this go away. I hate that your mom felt so bad. I hate that you got sick this weekend, and that tomorrow will be a day filled with tears. But I think you are so amazing and wonderful for going to Atlanta.

I am with Amy, this is the kind of stuff that make it's so hard to live in such a fallen place.

Precious friend. I don't have words to say but I do know this much, God is right there WITH you and He will brings streams into the dessert and make something beautiful from the ashes of your sadness. He already is in you and your mom. Now I see where you got your amazing heart to give and love so lavishly. Favorite meals and favorite memories. I see her in you!!!

Prayers and hugs!

Tracie said...

Melissa, I hope you can feel all the prayers that are being lifted up for you and your mom. My heart has been heavy for you and I think of you and pray for you both each day. I hope that you will always know you can call on me if you need a friend to talk to, cry on, or pray with. God is with you, and your friends are too.

Im glad you had a great thanksgiving even though your mom could not be there, and what a blessing to your family and a testament to your faith that you were able to be thankful even in the midst of worry.

With all my love,


Jennifer said...

I love the cover of the magazine!
You are so beautiful!