Melissa Taylor

Time for a Change

2009-11-13T13:09:00.002-05:00

This will be my last post here. Why you ask? Because I have a beautiful new blog!!! If you've been visiting either of my blogs, www.MelissaTaylorP31.blogspot.com or BeautifulP31.blogspot.com, I thank you for your comments, sharing of stories, encouragement, prayers, and friendship. I hope you'll continue to follow me at my new blog with a NEW ADDRESS. I'll be writing a lot more, hosting contests, give aways, encouraging you, and sharing other valuable information regularly. And every now and then I might just dish about one of my Proverbs 31 sisters!

MY NEW WEBSITE/BLOG ADDRESS IS:

www.MelissaTaylor.org

www.MelissaTaylor.org

Think you got it? Well what are you waiting for? Go visit my beautiful new blog NOW!!!

Big Hugs,

Melissa

Hey Y'all!

2009-10-20T20:59:00.004-04:00

I have been so out of commission lately. Life hit hard. It always does though! I used to think it was just seasonal, but now I'm convinced that it's just life as I know it!!!!

So, my Greensboro friends from Grace Community Church, we have a winner. Dorothy Lanier, you are the winner from that event!!! Email me at Melissa@MelissaTaylor.org so I can get your contact info and send you your prize :) Everyone else who has commented on my blog, email me your information and I will send you My Top 10 Ways to Stay Connected With God.

Southside ladies....are you there???? I miss y'all terribly! Comment here and I'll send you something too. Just be sure to send me your email address! Seriously, I'm coming to your retreat next year! Wendy Bruce, I haven't forgotten about you! I'm praying for you every day. Let's get in touch. Email me!!!!

Today has been awesome and filling, yet exhausting and depleting at the same time. I am the Prayer Coordinator for Proverbs 31 Ministries. We received over 500 requests today. This is a result of Glynnis Whitwer's amazing devotion that ran today. I am thrilled that so many felt comfortable and safe enough to let Proverbs 31 join them in prayer. We have such a great prayer team. I mean they really care about each and every prayer request that comes through. But I am also saddened. The requests today revealed lonely, sad, lost, hopeless, and even a few suicidal people who need unconditional love and support. Breaks my heart because I want to jump through the computer and hug and love on those sending the requests. "God loves you!!!!!" I want to yell. "You are so special to Him!!!!!" I want to say.

If you have any words for those who are hurting and unable to see God's hand in their life, please comment here. I will pass it on.

And you Grace or Southside ladies, let me hear from you too. Dorothy and Wendy...we need to touch base.

Love You All!

Melissa

Southside Ladies Retreat

2009-10-12T00:16:00.003-04:00

I honestly don't think I have enough space to write all that I'd like to. It's very late right now, after midnight in fact.

I got home about an hour and a half ago. I spoke at a women's retreat in Fredericksburg, VA all weekend long. It was emotional, draining, exhausting, wild, fun, and amazing. Seriously, I am in awe of what God did.

First, He showed up personally for the ladies there. I witnessed so many personal connections and it brings me to tears of joy. I witnessed obstacles and walls breaking down in women's lives. I witnessed surrender. I witnessed revelations. All by God, for God. Yes, the ladies claimed freedom in Christ as we defeated the pirates in our lives and took hold of the treasure, God's Truth. Words cannot describe how I feel right now. Just really thankful and I give the Lord every bit of credit. I was empty and exhausted. Seriously, if y'all knew the week I had prior to this retreat, you'd understand. I had NOTHING to give. But God did. And He did. I love Him so much.

Also, this retreat served as a HUGE confirmation for me. I was doubting my calling as a speaker. I'm not like many speakers. I'm really more of a sharer of faith. I love the Lord so much I can't keep it in. Give me a weekend with a group of ladies and I explode with passion for giving your life to Christ and becoming His best friend, and relying on Him each and every day to walk with you and get your through life. I do believe it is all possible with God. I live it every day. Not always perfectly. In fact not anywhere near. But it is my relationship with the Lord that gives me the strength and desire to keep going despite my circumstances. I am nothing without Him. But I can be anything with Him. Because He does it for me. He did that this weekend in a super ultra big way.

Southside ladies, if you read this, THANK YOU for allowing God to speak to you this weekend. You all were open to hear from Him and you listened. I am seriously blown away by the stories you've shared with me how He met you this weekend. Lives were changed and I praise God for that.

Plus, the retreat was just fun. These ladies were wild and crazy. Yes, wild and crazy for Jesus! I'd tell you more about it, but what happens in Fredericksburg, stays in Fredericksburg, so if you want to find out, you'll just have to attend next year's retreat when Proverbs 31's, Sharon Glasgow will be their speaker.

Blessings and Lots of Love,

Melissa

Charm, Beauty, Fear

2009-09-26T05:41:00.003-04:00

****Edit, October 7, 2009....

Ladies of Grace Comm Church in Greensboro,

I'm drawing today. I received emails, blog posts, and phone messages. I have your names and I'll draw and let you know who won. Also send me your email addresses!!! Send to Melissa@MelissaTaylor.org and I'll send you my 10 Ways to be closer to God :)

Blessings Y'all!

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:30 (NIV)

What does it mean to be a woman who fears the Lord?

I want to hear what you have to say, and I'll be back later to give you my thoughts on this.

Blessings,

Melissa

Faith Confession #6

2009-09-24T21:22:00.005-04:00

Yesterday I posted one of my church's 12 Faith Confessions. Today, I'll post another. #6.

"I have no insecurity because I see myself the way God sees me."

I posted this statement on my FaceBook and Twitter pages today. The comments I received were interesting to me. Here they are:

Words to strive for ;)

I agree. I'm working on faith and believing God. Not as easy as you think it might be. I have trust issues.

That preaches good but not so easy to live.

Why is it so hard to believe this? I'll tell you why.

We are human. Insecurity began the minute sin entered the picture. And ever since, we have struggled with feeling secure and good about ourselves.

Just like the woman said in the comment above, It's not easy to live. I recite the confession. I know it can be true. But not because of me. Only because of Christ in me. Melissa is not secure. Melissa does not see herself in high esteem. But God sees me differently. And I believe God. So for that reason, I have no insecurity. I do see myself the way God sees me. (or at least I keep telling myself that!)

Ladies, we have to make a change. We can't live our lives thinking and talking ourselves down. Thinking ourselves inferior to others. Comparing ourselves. I do it too. I know it's hard. But we should believe like God.

So, repeat after me...

"I have no insecurity because I see myself the way God sees me." and now say it again...."I have no insecurity because I see myself the way God sees me." And when you don't feel it, that's okay. You know the truth. Remember that feelings are fickle. But God isn't.

Be blessed,

Melissa

Faith Confession #1

2009-09-23T20:54:00.003-04:00

Our church has 12 Faith Confessions. Every now and then I'll be sharing them here.

The first one means everything to me. Here it is:

"I am fully forgiven and free from all shame and condemnation."

Isn't that the best news you could ever get???? It is for me.

Unfortunately, I have much in my life that could easily bring me shame and condemnation. And at one time I let it. But then I entered into a new relationship. With Jesus.

I learned that there is NO CONDEMNATION in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1) and that I am forgiven totally (Psalm 32:1-5).

Are you able to live free? Or are you held captive by something you've done in the past?

Repeat after me. "I am fully forgiven and free from all shame and condemnation." In Jesus' Name.

Shame-less,

Melissa

People Watching is Interesting to Me

2009-09-14T21:55:00.003-04:00

But what I don't like about people watching is that too often I begin to judge the people I'm watching. Like I have the right. I don't.

I'm going to highlight some biggies here. Kanye West and Michael Vick.

On first glance, I can jump right in with the crowd. Michael Vick....what a loser, killing animals, making them fight. He totally doesn't deserve a second chance. And Kanye, interrupting my daughter's very favorite singer, Taylor Swift. Stealing a special moment from her like that. What a loser. Let's just charge them now. Guilty. If you aren't sure what I'm talking about, just Google Michael Vick or Kanye West.

I've heard what many have said. According to most, these 2 are scum, don't deserve a second chance.

While it's easy to jump on these bandwagons....it's even easy to agree with the crowd. I mean there are clear justifiable reasons. However, I dare you. I dare you to take God's approach.

Please don't bash me for this. But I have to wonder, is what they did forgivable in the eyes of the Lord? Well, yes it is. Because there is nothing unforgivable to Him. I mean we have to really mean it, but God can and will forgive when we really mean it. And who are we to decide how someone should be punished?

I am one of the few who are rooting for Michael Vick. He says that he is a changed man because of the Lord Jesus Christ. I want that to be true. Why wouldn't I? God knows all, and it's not up to me to decide it. I so hope he is a changed man. What a difference he will make in the kingdom of God if that's the case. It's not up to me or you to decide if he's a good guy or not. Plus, I can relate to Michael Vick. No, I've never arranged fights between dogs, but I have sinned. I've sinned bad and big time. I pray that God believes in me. There are others who may not believe me, but my main concern is that God does. That's all that truly matters to me. He and I know the truth. Who else has the right to judge? My value is determined by Him not my previous actions. Humans aren't so forgiving. I've learned that. But God is.

And about Kanye West....I'm one of the few who probably feel a little sorry for him. I love Taylor Swift. Hayley Grace and I listen to Taylor all the time. She's America's sweetheart. He was hateful to her last night. I didn't watch the Mtv Video Music Awards last night. When Britney and Madonna french kissed 7 years ago, I decided not to watch that again. But I awoke to the drama. It was on all the morning shows, FaceBook, Twitter, etc. And immediately I thought, "Oh great. Another celebrity drama that is going to take over the media. Instead of hearing about quality news, we will hear about this." And I was right.

I decided to tune into to The Jay Leno Show tonight on NBC. Kanye West was a guest on there. He was quiet. He did not look up. He was shamed. He seemed to be on the verge of tears. He couldn't even answer a question about what his late mother would've thought about his behavior. I suspect he is questioning himself, "What was I thinking?" "What made me do that?" I'm sure he has major regrets. But maybe just maybe it is the regrets that could make him a changed man? Right? If that's what it takes....

Have you ever asked yourself those questions? I bet you did. Only the entire world wasn't fixated you while you did it.

My point here is that it's real easy for us to judge others. It's easy when a camera or spotlight is on someone else to join the world in siding against them. I don't know about you, but I'm real glad that there is not a camera following me.

I am not justifying what these men have done. Not at all. We all do have the right to judge their actions. What they did was wrong. But we do not have the right to judge what's in their hearts. If we do, then we are saying that God is not capable of healing and changing someone. God is. And it's best if we stay out of His way.

That's all I'm sayin.

Our God is a God of second chances. And aren't you thankful for that? I know I am.

I'll leave all this up to Him.

Let me know your thoughts....

Love,

Melissa

A girl works works works, then...

2009-09-11T20:52:00.002-04:00

gets the flu too.

Yep, after a week of taking care of my family, I too fell prey to the swine. (Just to clarify, only one of the kids was officially diagnosed with the H1N1 virus...the doctor said there was no need to test. Just same symptoms.) This week our family has also encountered a UTI (I can't tell you who has that bc they say "it's embarrassing Mom!" , major asthma flair up requiring extra breathing treatments, and many a cough, earache, high fever, and sore throat.

Early this afternoon I proclaimed, "It's cold in here isn't it?" And I heard, "I'm not cold" "Me either"

To which I thought, "Oh no."

And I was right. The reason I was cold was because I had a fever. The sickness that I had worked so hard to make everyone else feel better about had finally found it's way to me. And I'm ok with that.

If you read yesterday's post, then you know that I was able to find Treasure in the Illness (es) of my family. Now it's time for me to find the treasure in my own.

Could it be I need to slow down?

Could it be I need to be able to empathize with those who are sick?

Could it be that I wasn't supposed to go away for a girl's weekend with my Bible Study group but stay home with my family?

Who knows? (Well, God does.) But whatever the reason, I trust that there is a reason for it. I'm just thankful that I was the last to get it and not the first. I was given the gift of caring for my family without having to worry about me. Now they are in the healing stage and I can just crash.

This has been a hard week for many reasons. I am a little down about my Mom. (I may comment on this at another time or I may not.) I am faced with new challenges in my speaking and writing. My family has needed me beyond the usual. I've missed work all week and I need the hours. But let me tell you the blessings....

I trust God to take care of Mom. That's hard for me, but I have to do it. In speaking and writing, or another way of putting it...my calling in ministry....I am being challenged to step it up. That's all I'll say about that. I struggle on some days to feel worthy of the calling and I rise to the occasion on some days knowing I am capable because of the Lord. But only because of Him. My kids have needed me so much this week. Seeing my strong boys so weak has taken me aback. I cherish the fact that they need me, but I hurt seeing them feel so bad. And my office work. I miss my friends at the office. I miss my work at the office. I need the hours. But home has called. And I'm called here before anywhere else.

So this girl has worked worked worked. And I was to be rewarded this weekend. My Bible study group is taking an annual girl's weekend trip to the lake. I've been looking forward to this all week. Yesterday I made the call to stay home. I knew my family needed me. Little did I know that I'd be the one who was sick! Mary Beth, Julie, LaGena, Amy, and Michelle...girls have a blast! I wish I was there with you! Play, laugh, relax, and enjoy the gift of each other. I'll catch up with you next Friday at Bible Study. I was so looking forward to this weekend with you. I hope and pray you all are having a great time together. But selfishly I hope not too much fun!

Thankfully it is the weekend. I got to watch my favorite show tonight (Monk). And tomorrow there is college football. If I have to be sick and stuck at home, then at least it's football season. The Gators play at 12 and the Gamecocks play at 6:30. :) And the Panthers play Sunday. :)

No matter what, I am reminded of what the Lord says. Reminded by a friend, 1 Peter 5:6-11. And girlfriend who sent that to me, I am holding that closer than you know.

Hangin in there,

Melissa

Treasure in the Illness

2009-09-10T18:07:00.006-04:00

I am looking around my house today. In 1 room lies a 16 year old boy. He's typically healthy and rarely misses school. Today he is down and out. 102 fever. Cough. Sore Throat. Earache. Just feels rotten. He's 16, but he needs his mama :)

In the den there are 2 couches. On one lies a 14 year old boy. He has been down and out since Monday. He's been to the doctor twice due to high fever, 104, and breathing trouble. Coughing a lot. This was supposed to be his first week of football practice. He hasn't been able to join his team yet. Too sick. On the other couch lies a 12 year old boy. He is down and out. While I was attending a PTA Open House last night, he texted me and let me know he had a fever of 101. He is sick and coughing also. Both of these big boys also need their mama :)

Truly, that is the one thing I like about them being sick. Their need for me. It brings back memories of the many sick days we had during the preschool years. We used to be in the doctor's office all the time it seemed. I was forever wiping a nose, rocking a sick child, administering medication, attending appointments, reading up on the latest remedies or health issues, and occasionally even being sent to the hospital. (6 different times I recall going from the pediatrician's office straight to the hospital) My life was consumed with being a Mom. Hands on all the way. My boys have grown up so, their need for me is not as obvious. But oh when they are sick...all they want is their mama.

And our time together has been so sweet. Hayden and I have talked so much this week. He has been the sickest so far and out of school all week. While I would never wish this flu on him again, I cherish the time and conversations we've had this week. Priceless. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not glad my boys are sick. But I have found treasures hidden in their illness.

Hayley Grace, their 8 year old sister...she is not down and out. Although she was. For 2 days she had a cough. She got over it quickly. She has cried everyday this week because she wanted the swine flu so she could stay home too! Go figure!

I'm praying that our family will be back to good health very soon. I'm also praying I don't get it! If the past repeats itself, I'll spend this week caring for them and then get it! (Hoping that doesn't happen! I feel fine so far!)

Hoping and praying that you are your family are staying well!

Hugs,

Melissa

Change is scary and hard and challenging...

2009-09-03T18:25:00.002-04:00

But real good! I've been working on some new "stuff"...you know what stuff is right? You know, stuff. Well in this case stuff is what I'm workin on! Am I making any sense? Forgive my silliness!

Really, I have been challenged lately in ministry. It is time to step it up a notch, take some risks, devote more time, and really pursue excellence. This requires some changes and also some unchartered territory for me. I am putting myself in a position to be evaluated, critiqued, chewed up and spat out, all for Jesus :) And I'm serious about that. I truly want to give my best so that Jesus shines. For that reason, I want to keep growing and learning. And for that reason I'm taking the next few months to devote to intense study, training, refining, and growth...all closer to the heart of God. I'm excited and nervous, but also so thankful for the opportunities ahead. God is good and with Him I'm traveling this sometimes bumpy road.

With all that said, I'll still keep blogging, writing, speaking, working, etc. In fact, you should see some major changes in this blog in the next few weeks. Finally after almost 2 years of blogging I'm actually getting a design :) Oooohhhh, impressive. LOL! I think I'm the last person in the world to do this!

Well, it's a big day here at the Taylor house. College football starts today! It's my favorite time of year. And my team plays tonight on ESPN. Join me in yelling, "Go Gamecocks!"

Hey, have you had a challenge in your life that you were a little scared about, but also excited? How did you proceed without being nervous or listening to the wrong voice? Please share if you want to.

All for now, it's Game Time!

Love,

Melissa

Word to Life

2009-08-27T21:05:00.003-04:00

If I never do anything else, I pray with all my heart that I can bring God's Word to life. For myself, for my family, for my friends, and for anyone else that I have the opportunity to share with. Yes, that would be it. My one desire: to bring God's Word to life.

How?

That's what I ask myself. And there are so many correct answers.

I've led Bible studies. In these studies it was my main objective to bring God's Word to life so that those in the study could feel and apply God's Word in their everyday life.

I've been a speaker at retreats and conferences. No matter what the message or topic, my main goal was to bring God's Word to life so that the women in attendance would go home thirsting for the Word of God with the desire to apply it to their lives everyday.

I answer the phone at Proverbs 31 Ministries. Many times it is people asking for prayer. I often don't have the answers they are looking for, but I always point them back to the Word of God. I may not have advice or answers, but I do have Scripture that never fails. And when I share it, it sticks. It gives hope. It promises to never fail. When I have nothing to offer, the Word of God gives life.

My kids are searching for their way in life. I don't have much to offer them, but I do have God's Word. And unfortunately they may roll their eyes at me. But I know that His Word will not return void. And so, I keep offering it. One day they will thank me. I'm blessed. Today one of them thanked me :)

My husband....he's a great husband. But he still doesn't meet my every need. Because God's Word has taught me how to love, whether Jeff meets my needs or not, I know how to give him love. Not because I posess it, but because God within me does. I read His Word. His Word manifests within me. And I am able to love whether I feel like it or not. And just for the record, today I felt like it. I am so in love with my husband!

Today I am struggling to discern the best way to bring God's Word to life. There is so much I want to do. But there is also so much that I have to do. Ministry is important to me, but that can be done in many different ways. I am asking God to define that for me. And I am torn. I want to be in the smack dab center of God's will. And His will alone.

How do you bring God's Word to life? What does that mean to you?

Love,

Melissa

Study the Bible

2009-08-13T05:00:00.000-04:00

Is there a book you are interested in studying? A book of the Bible? A book that leads you to the Bible? Like a topical book? On marriage? A closer walk with God? Watching what you say? Your thoughts? Being the woman God created you to be? Lies? Truth?

Please share if you have thoughts on this.

thanks :)

Melissa

Give me your thoughts on this quote:

2009-08-10T05:00:00.000-04:00

"Yet often God yearns for us to ask His help; instead, we also look for the aid of human agents."

Is this true for you?

Please Share,

Meliss

Comment on this quote:

2009-08-08T05:00:00.000-04:00

"Although we suffer the consequences of our actions, God will remain faithful."

Hodge Podge and Mish Mash

2009-08-05T19:43:00.000-04:00

Over the next month you will hopefully see some positive changes in my blog(s). I'm not going to go into any details, but I will say I'm really excited about it. So, if you visit here ever at all, just hang with me. I'm in the process of gaining some normalcy to my life and implementing some ideas I've had in my head for a long time. I just didn't have the means to move forward. Now I do.

As many of you have read on other blogs, She Speaks was amazing. I don't think I could say it any better than that. Today, the P31 office had a "She Speaks Debriefing Meeting" where we reviewed 3 categories of She Speaks. 1. Pre She Speaks 2. During She Speaks 3. Post She Speaks We discussed what worked and what we need to improve on for next year. This year's conference was pretty close to excellent. Let me just say that next year's will be even better.

My Mom is still home and continues to recover. Thank you for your prayers.

Jeff, the kids, and I will be leaving Saturday for Florida. We have a Disney vacation planned. This could not come at a better time for me. This summer has been hard on our family. This getaway to a literal "fantasy" land is a welcome retreat. I have missed Jeff and the kids so much. I have spent more than half of this summer away from them because I was caring for my mother and then I had She Speaks. Blake turns 16 while we will be at Disney. For his birthday, he and I are taking the behind the scenes tour of the Magic Kingdom. I think I'm more excited about this than he is! I will not be blogging while I'm away, but I will post a question to ponder each day I'm gone. I'll also be tweeting and facebooking live from WDW.

Yesterday I received a prayer request at the office from a pastor's wife whose husband is addicted to pornography. He stopped for a while, but she recently found out he was "not looking at porn" but looking at women in their bras and panties, bathing suits, etc. Anyway, they weren't his wife. She feels defeated and useless to him. And she is hurting. This is just one request. We get so many similar to this. It breaks my heart. We have a fabulous prayer team, but could always use more. If you are interested in being on the P31 prayer team, let me know. It's a big commitment, but if you have a heart for prayer and are looking for ways to get involved in Proverbs 31 Ministries, we could definitely use you. Get in touch with me if you are interested.

I realize this post was a hodge podge and mish mash of stuff, but that's how I am these days. Hodge podge and mish mash....LOL.

Love to you and yours,

Melissa

P31's Annual She Speaks Conference

2009-07-29T07:36:00.002-04:00

She Speaks begins for me TODAY!!!! And it couldn't come at a better time! The week of this conference fuels me. Even though I usually leave the conference exhausted physically and mentally and emotionally, I am filled to overflowing spiritually.

Our Speaker Team meets today. Many of us haven't seen each other in over a year. We have training, team time, and business during the day for the next 2 days before the conference actually begins, but our nights are relatively free with plenty of built in time for fun and bonding. Usually way too many laughs and late nights!

The Conference will begin Friday morning. I begin Friday as a P31 Staff member working the crazy registration area. I end Friday and work the remainder to of the conference as a Speaker Team Member. The session I'm teaching is Saturday afternoon and I'm evaluating a beginners speaking group. Truly I say, the evaluation group is my favorite part. I love being a part of encouraging these women to go after their dreams. It is a joy and delight for me.

This conference is going to be fabulous. Many great sessions, speakers, writers, publishers, and we even have Cheri Keaggy doing our music this year and Jennifer Rothschild speaking Saturday night. Wow!

To keep you updated, I'll try to blog, but I'll definitely be "tweetin'" from the conference all week long. The tweets (from Twitter) appear in the left hand column of this blog. You can also join in on the Twitter, by signing up at www.Twitter.com . Many of our speakers and even Proverbs 31 have started twittering during the day to keep up with each other. It's seems silly, but it's fun.

I have said a prayer for anyone who reads this today. May your days be blessed and may you experience the joy of the Lord greatly in your life!

Love and big hugs,

Melissa

***Sharon Sloan if you read this, I will miss your OTC hug this year ;)

Mom is Home

2009-07-27T23:25:00.002-04:00

I posted on Mom's CaringBridge site tonight. Here is the post:
__________________________________________________________________

Hi Everyone. It's Monday evening. This has been my first opportunity to write. I'm home for the first time in a while.

As you know, Mom came home to her house in Rock Hill, SC last Friday, July 24th. It was a celebration. A real homecoming in the waiting. After 38 days in the hospital, 4 surgeries, numerous procedures, and many doctors, Mom came home. I honestly don't think the 5th floor of CMC knows what to do without her!

While returning home, has been a good thing, honestly, it's also been a hard thing. All those things we used to press the red call button and have the nurse do...well guess what? She doesn't come any more. Mom rings a bell (a lot) and whoever is "on call" (either me or Bud this last weekend) come to do whatever is needed. And that has been more than I ever thought myself capable to do. Wow. Procedures I used to have to leave the room for because of my weak stomach, I am now doing myself. Bud and I went through a crash course of Wound Care, Dressing Changes, Ostomy Bag Changes, Treating infection, Assisiting a patient in using a walker, etc etc etc. I actually think I could be a nurse now. :)

Mom is doing ok. She's glad to be home. She's walking around with the help of a walker a few times a day. But she is also frustrated and feeling defeated. Everything is such an effort for her.

If you can give her a call, please do. Often when she's on the phone or occupied with a visit she forgets the pain she's in or what she's going through.

I had to leave Mom tonight. I have a big conference that I'm working this week and weekend. Jeff's Mom, Pat, is going to be with Mom the next 2 days. Buddy's daughter, Michele will be helping out a few days also. And then Mom's sister, Gloria is coming next Sunday for a few days. And of course Bud is there most of the time. We've learned it's a full time job. Caring for Mom, cooking, cleaning, keeping up with the billing and prescriptions and appointments, etc.

A home health care nurse also comes out a few times a week.

Thank you so much for your continued love and support. I for one don't think I could do this without it. You all have carried me. And I read your comments to Mom and it lets her know that she is not forgotten. She misses life as she knows it. Your comments let her know that life is going on and she is a part of it.

I'm not sure when this will updated again. I'll try to get the "helpers" to update during the week, but who knows. I'll be back next week sometime.

Much Love From Becky,
Melissa

___________________________________________________________________
That was my CaringBridge update. Mom is home.

This has been such a hard week. I'm trying to get geared up for She Speaks. Usually She Speaks has occupied my every thought. Only this year, it has paled in comparison to what I've been dealing with in real life. It's just as important. But I trust that God will handle every detail of the conference....even my session on Saturday. He is capable of that, right? Of course!

It's been rather comical. My email has revealed nervous speakers and attendees to the conference. And I understand. However, in comparison, I've just trusted God to handle what I couldn't, which was the She Speaks Conference. I know for a fact that He will take care of it all.

This conference will undoubtably be the best ever. I know because it gets better and better each year. I believe that Satan would like for me to be distracted by what's going on with my Mom. but I'm not. I have learned to trust Him more than ever.

I'm home now. For the first time in a week. I've missed my husband and my kids. And I miss Mom tonight, but I'm so happy to be home tonight. And I know God is taking care of her. How silly of me to think that I was the only one capable of taking care of her. :)

Good Night Friends,
Melissa

Freedom

2009-07-20T20:47:00.002-04:00

Galatians 5:1- It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Free- Yes, Christ has set us free. He did this by His own death. It was the toughest and most painful of sacrifices, yet He considered us worth it. And he did it, so that we would experience freedom. The opposite of freedom is captivity or bondage. If we feel held against our will, then we are not experiencing the freedom that Christ intended.

This was me for many years. I've been captive to people, relationships, feelings, food, exercise, perfection, lonliness, positions/roles, and my own thoughts. It has taken (and still takes) a constant effort and reminder to myself that I am no longer a slave to such things. Jesus is my Master and I am free. Not guilty. Not condemned. Not needing anything or anyone else to complete me.

Often people fight for freedom. We don't have to. The battle was won for us. Christ did it all.

Stand firm- This tells me that Paul, who wrote this verse, is saying that we can't just relax. We have to stand firm. Stand firm...on solid ground, not waivering, holding on tight so we won't easily be blown over or down. Standing firm takes effort and it means we must take a stand and stick with it. Make a decision and never look back.

Again- The fact that Paul says, "Do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery" tells me that we will be burdened (or attempted to be burdened) again by the same things. The same strongholds that Satan had over us are going to be the same ones he uses again and again to get to us. That's why we were just told to stand firm!

I hope you are encouraged by this verse. I've decided to go back through "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore again and use it in my quiet time for the rest of the summer. This verse was in the introduction and I have used it all day long in making decisions and reminding myself of my amazing freedom in Christ! I take it for granted too much. I turn to other means for comfort too much. This is not right. It makes me a slave to whatever I turn to. I don't want any part of that.

It is for freedom that I am free in Christ. I will stand firm then, and I won't let myself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery!

Christ gave up everything for me and you. Let's stand firm and make Him glad He did!

Sweet Love in Christ,

Melissa

Finally, a breakdown!

2009-07-16T20:53:00.002-04:00

I've been doing really good. Even though life around me has been out of control, I really have been at peace. In fact, I couldn't even figure out how I've kept it so together.

My mom was in Surgical Trauma ICU for 3 days. My dad got married without much notice. I wasn't even invited to the wedding. Blake got contacts. Hayden got his braces off. Dylan is still having ear trouble and seeing a specialist. I still work every day. I still spend every other night in the hospital. I miss my family. Jeff has either a groin pull or a hernea. I miss my husband. We are super busy at the office getting ready for She Speaks, a conference which I am heavily involved for 5 days at the end of the month. With that said, I've been taking it one moment at a time. Sleeping has been light. I fall asleep, I awake. I'm real tired. And truth be told, I'm worried about my Mom. She's been in the hospital for 4 weeks.

I guess it was only a matter of time. I could at times feel tears, but they would never come. I think there are many reasons for this and I'll share them with you:

1. I KNOW God is in control. I trust Him completely.
2. I don't have time to break down. I have to go from home to work to hospital to work to home to hospital to work....etc.
3. Everyone else in my family breaks down. I need to keep it together. For my mom. For her husband. For my sister. For my kids.
4. God tells me to worry about nothing and pray about everything. I'm trying to do that.

Well, finally, I broke. And it didn't take much to bring it on.

Yesterday at work, a co-worker, who will remain unamed, was in a bad mood and trying to beat a deadline. She had a phone call and I buzzed her office. She said, "Leave me alone!" Well, that was it. That did it. I started crying. Ok, I know what you are thinking.....drama! As I write I can't even believe that's what did it. But it did. I started crying and I couldn't quit.

It was a long time until I went to sleep last night. Not because of my co-worker who snapped at me. I knew that wasn't personal. It was just because I was at the end of my rope. It was time. I needed to let out all that emotion. Each time I would fall asleep. I would soon wake up. I just couldn't get into a deep sleep. Finally at 2:30am I got up to let the dog out. I could hear her running around the bedroom. When I got up and headed for the door, I stepped barefooted into a pile of poop. Thanks Maggie! Geez. Can't a girl catch a break here?

I finally fell asleep around 3:00 am. I didn't wake up until 11:00 am. Thank God I work in a place that is filled with loving and understanding women. I'm supposed to be there by 9:00 am. That just hasn't been happening lately. I called in and they told me to take my time.

I am feeling much better tonight. I got it out. I'm not altogether with it, but I do feel better.

God has provided. I'm not surprised. I am very grateful. Even though I have my times of weakness, He has been there to lift me back up. I trust Him fully. I could not do this without Him. Just when I think life is impossible, He reminds me that nothing is impossible for Him.

Do you trust God? If you are having difficulty trusting God in your life right now, please do share with me. And if you have a story of how you trusted God in a difficult time, please share that too. Your stories inspire me.

If you are interested in reading the latest update on my Mom, click here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckynunn1/journal

Blessings,

Melissa

Phil 4:6-7, Josh 1:9, Matt 6:34

2009-07-09T16:45:00.004-04:00

Don't worry. Pray. Receive peace. Be strong. Don't be afraid. The Lord is with you WHEREVER you go. Don't worry about tomorrow. Trust the Lord one day at a time.

There ya go! Just summed up the 4 verses listed above. These 4 verses have more than carried me and kept me calm during this very stormy time of my life. The storms have been raging and they've been totally out of my control. Of course the greatest storm, Hurricane Mama Has Cancer has brought the most stress and strain to my already challenging life. Do you wonder what I mean by challenging? Well, take a peak at my today.

On the way to the hospital today, Blake read me my morning devotion. It began with these words: "Stop worrying long enough to hear My voice." Well, he could've stopped right there. It's all I needed to hear. Just that reminder grounded me once again. I have been filled with peace (see previous post) during Hurricane Mama Has Cancer even though it's been everything but peaceful! Well, maybe I haven't ben filled with peace the whole time, but in the past month I have. The Lord has provided. Don't know why I doubt, ever. Besides the trial with Mom, life in general has been quite busy and unpredictable.

1. Get woken up by Dylan, my 12 yr old son, in severe pain. Fever 102. Ear swollen shut. (had to make an appt. to see doctor again. Then she sent him to ENT) Thank God Jeff could get him to his first appt and Jeff's mom got him to his 2nd.)
2. Go down stairs to make breakfast for the 8 kids sleeping in my house. On the way down, Becca, my niece, is looking pretty green. I said, "are you ok?" She said, "I think I'm going to throw up." And she did. After that she said she felt fine. Lovely.
3. Needed to get the kids (who were well) up to the hospital to see Mom before surgery. We took 2 cars because I was going to be staying at the hospital all day and night. Jeff and the kids visited and then left around 11. Jeff had to go back home and get Dylan for his ear appt. (see #1)
4. Mom was in her room until 12:30. Before she left for pre op, I prayed with her. She kept telling us all how much she loved us. She had tears in her eyes.
5. Denise got to the hospital right before Mom left. She and I went to the chapel. It was quiet and peaceful. We talked then prayed. I am still filled with peace. My Father has given that to me. I just love Him so much.
6. 6 hours later, still in the waiting room. My sister, Tricia is here too and my stepfather, Bud. Denise just left and Donna is on her way. I have such great friends. The surgery should last about 3 more hours.
7. Now I'm writing this blogpost as I wait.

If you are struggling with peace in your life in the midst of your uncontrollable circumstances, take a look at the 3 passages of Scripture I've referred to here. God is so very good. I love that He cares so much and I'm thankful He's given me the calm in the storm. I am only looking at this moment. I'm not looking ahead. I'm trusting Him for today. That mentality is working quite well.

I'll sign off here for now. Gotta tweet, FB, and check my email. Obsessive? Maybe. Good for passing time in the waiting room? Definitely.

Love to all my friends. Love y'all to pieces!
Love,

Melissa

I Am Humbled and Honored

2009-07-08T00:26:00.003-04:00

I wasn't expecting to blog about this tonight. I was hoping to blog about Philippians 4:6-7. I've turned over my worries to prayers and truly God has replaced my fears with peace. I can't explain it, but I have the peace which surpasses all understanding. And I wanted to share that with my readers tonight.

Even though, I still have peace, my evening went much different than I expected.

I am here at the hospital with my Mom tonight. It's my turn to spend the night with her. Me and my sister are staying every other night. My Mom's journey has not gone how I would have wanted it to go, but we have found bright spots along the way. My Mom has had 5 surgeries in the past 3 weeks. There have been set backs. But I've managed to remain calm. I trust God. I put the situation in His Hands.

Tonight I was challenged. My Mom was sore and chaffed. I washed her full body. As I washed, she cried. She said, "No daughter should ever have to do this." However, I was honored to wash my mother. As I wiped the warm cloth over her body, I felt the love of Jesus saying, "I made this woman and I want her to feel clean. Thank you for washing her." It was my pleasure to wash her.

A little while later, an odor took over the room. Mom's colostomy bag had burst. Her linens and gown were soiled. She was embarrassed. I called for the nurse. 2 nurses came. They tended to Mom with care and allowed her to keep her dignity. I was so appreciative of that. They cleaned her up, changed her gown and sheets, and told her that everything was ok. They took their time in changing her bag, cleaning her up, and making her feel human and normal.

Yes, I have a peace that surpasses understanding, but I have to be honest. I hate what my Mom is going through. I hate it. I have never gone through anything like this in my life. I don't like that staying in the hospital almost feels normal. I don't like that I miss my family and our suburban lifestyle. I don't like that my Mom doesn't know what tomorrow will bring.

But God.

But God.

But God picked me. He picked me to have the honor to wash my Mom. He picked me to be humbled enough to clean her up. He picked me to have the calm and strength to be there for her. He picked me to have the priviledge to give back a little of what she's given to me over the years. And I am honored and humbled.

God is enough. I couldn't do what I'm doing, feel how I'm feeling, or get through what I am going through without Him. I have peace. And that is only from God.

Many Blessings and Much Love,

Melissa

****Mom has another surgery on Thursday, July 9th. Thank you for your prayers.

The Beach is Therapeutic

2009-07-01T22:12:00.006-04:00

It is!!!! I've been here since Saturday, June 27th. Ahhh. From the moment I saw the surf and took a whif of the salty air, I was relaxed.

I'm with my husband's family. His parents. His grandmothers. His aunt. My children. What a blessing. As I watch all the interaction, I am just so thankful. We have age 7-91 here. How cool is that?

My family is great, but we have divorce on so many sides. We could never do a family beach trip involving so many generations. We have other great times, but a trip with 4 generations present will not happen on my side. I have been very observant on this trip. And I feel extremely blessed. I'm watching my family.....the interaction between the great grands and the grand kids. It's amazing. It's a blessing. I look at each one and think, "God created each one of these beautiful human beings for a purpose. And here they are together." I look at Hayley Grace, who is only 7, and watch her hold hands with her 86 year old great grandmother. It brings tears to my eyes. I hope I'm holding my great grand daughter's hand when I'm 86.

For the 1st 3 days here I literally, stayed in a beach surf chair during the day and just hung out with the family at night. Every day, I sat in a low seated beach chair where the water could wash up and cool me off. I read 2 books those 3 days. (A Bend in the Road and The Shack) "The Shack" overwhelmed me. In a good way. It has caused me to just talk to God nonstop. I love Him and I feel closer to Him. It is a must read in my opinion.

Before I came to the beach, I had been spending most nights at the hospital with my Mom. It was hard for me to leave her and come here. I felt a little guilty. Tricia, my sister, is now staying with Mom at night. Because she is here, I can be at the beach with my family. And oh, how I needed this.

We have celebrated 3 birthdays on this trip. Hayden turned 14 on June 29th. Big Granny turned 86 on July 1st. And Dylan turns 12 on July 2nd. Lots of cake, lots of celebration, lots of memories. Lots of treasures.

I feel like I have been to therapy, only therapy never felt so good. I needed this trip.

Tomorrow brings another day of surf, sand, wind, and relaxation. I hope to be able to relax and maybe even read another book before returning to reality!

Thank you for your prayers and love. Mom is still holding on.

Much Love,

Melissa

Emotional

2009-06-29T21:44:00.002-04:00

I was looking for a word to describe me lately. Emotional is all I could come up with. I have experienced so many emotions over the past 2-3 weeks, I feel like I could've been 15 different people. But also though, I feel like I haven't felt at all. I know that makes no sense. But much of the time I've felt numb. And the numbness has been a gift from God. At times I think if I could've "felt" what I was really feeling, I would be a basket case. Maybe gone over the edge.

I have not blogged in quite some time. The last time I blogged my Mom was getting ready to go into the hospital. She's now been in there for 1 and 1/2 weeks and will probably be there for another couple weeks. She had major surgery, the first of it's kind. And it was successful. But there is recovery and rehab. But when it's all said and done, this cancer is gone and there will be just the lung cancer to deal with.

But let me say this. Seeing my Mom go through so much has been excruciating on me. I can't take it, yet I can. This woman who I love is suffering. She's too young. And she blames herself. She keeps apologizing to me. It kills me. But I put up a front. I wear a mask to cover the pain. I think my Mom does too.

I'm at the beach now. After staying in the hospital 6 nights with Mom, I was given the blessing of a break. Friends and family are stepping up to help out. My sister is here from Dallas, TX. My mother in law has stayed with my Mom for 2 nights. Donna is keeping all the dogs (mine and Mom's). Denise has volunteered to stay with Mom one night. Cindy stayed with Mom last night. Aunt Gloria stayed on Sat. I'm so thankful for all of them. I've been at the beach for 2 days now. I have to admit, I felt guilty for coming. But I also know I was worn out and almost ready to crack. The break is good and I'm so thankful for all of the help. I'm really glad to have my sister here.

So, what are my emotions right now? Well, I went on a walk today. Down the beach in the middle of the day. I was thinking about Mom. I was thinking about life. I was thinking about losing my Mom. I was thinking about the loss of life. I got really sad for the first time. My breathing got heavy. I was somewhat angry for having to deal with this. But I also understand that the Master has a plan. I returned to peace.

I just started reading "The Shack" today. I'm half way through it and I can't wait to read the rest. I can tell it's life changing. There are so many lines I've highlighted in the book already that I plan to write about later.

I don't really know what I've written thus far. Hope it made some sense. Today is my 2nd child's birthday. He is 14. Hayden is 14. God bless him. And I thank God for him.

Now I must go. I am watching "wrastlin" with my husband's grandmothers. What a hoot. One is 87 and the other 92. This time with them is priceless! I can't quit laughing! We have 4 generations right here. Watchin' "wrastlin". Lovely!

Blessings,
Melissa

Pray For Mom!

2009-06-17T21:29:00.008-04:00

To anyone who reads this,My Mom is having major surgery at 7:30 am, Thursday, June 18, 2009. She is having a colostomy and hopefully the surgeon will be able to remove all the cancer in that area. Pray for that please!

She still has lung cancer, but if this other cancer can be controlled, she can atleast live without pain. I'll be updating all day tomorrow on the blogs, FaceBook ( http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/melissa.r.taylor?ref=profile ), Twitter ( http://twitter.com/MelissaRTaylor ) , and my mom's CaringBridge site ( http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckynunn1/journal ).

Thank you for your prayers.

Love,

Melissa

****Edit, Thurs, June 18th, 2:03 pm EST

I updated Mom's CaringBridge site with the details from her surgery. Click the CaringBridge link above if you want details. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers. I was lifted by them. Out of this trial, for me, the biggest blessing has come in the form of prayers by friends, co-workers (who are also friends), and people I've never even met before (like many of you) who I also consider friends. Thank you so much! If I could, I'd hug you all real big right now!

Devotion running today...

2009-06-16T03:00:00.002-04:00

I have a devotion running today. It's called "Once...Always." You can check it out here: http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2009/06/once-always.html . Then read my follow up on my other blog, http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2009/06/who-are-you.html. I'd love to hear your comments and thoughts.

Today I am still basking in the wonderful time I had at my Mom's. She was in a great mood and little pain. What a blessing! Me and kids visited. My friend, Donna, and her daughter, Sydney, came too. My mom's hubby, Bud, cooked hamburgers on the grill. We had watermelon. We had a great time together. Her surgery is this Thursday. Please keep her in your prayers.

Thanks a bunch!
Love,

Melissa

Fun Friday

2009-06-12T23:21:00.002-04:00

It's Friday. And I guess it's been fun. This has been a crazy week. Mostly good, very busy. Are my weeks any other way?

It's late. 11:30ish as I write. I'm going back and forth between email, twitter, facebook, and my blog. I'm also watching a movie with Hayden, my 13 yr old son (Shredderman Rules). There are others in the room, but they have drifted off. So, I guess I'm multi-tasking.

Earlier tonight, Hayley Grace had dress rehearsal for her dance recital. Friday nights are usually reserved for doing NOTHING! "Nothing" didn't start until around 10:30 due to the rehearsal. Tomorrow will be busy as well. Hayden is attending a bat mitzvah, Hayley Grace is attending Sydney's 9th birthday party (Happy Birthday Syd!), and our family is celebrating Dylan's 5th grade graduation. Sunday we will go to church in the morning and HG's dance recital in the afternoon. Then............rest. Right? LOL!

Some great news came our way this week. About my mom. Check it out here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckynunn1. Click "journal" to get the latest update. It is really good for a change!

Are you having fun? Has summer officially started for you? What are you doing this summer? Let me know!

And have a blessed and beautiful weekend!
Love you much,

Melissa

It Won't Be Like This For Long

2009-06-10T17:43:00.002-04:00

There is a country song by Darius Rucker (you know Hootie??? aka Hootie and the Blowfish). It's "It Won't Be Like This For Long". And it's about his daughter growing up. As the song progresses, he goes through those first nights home as an infant and not getting sleep, then off to preschool and those separation anxiety days in the beginning, then growing into a teenager, marriage, etc. The first time I heard it, I just cried and cried. The song is so true!

Just today I made a comment about how quickly the house gets destroyed after I've cleaned it. I followed my complaint by saying, "but it won't be like this for long...soon enough I'll have the quiet and clean house and I'll miss this." And it's true.

My 3rd son, Dylan, graduated from elementary school today. I was prepared to get choked up, I always do where my kids are concerned. My husband took pictures during the ceremony. Every now and then I'd glance over at Jeff and my heart would just melt. How did we come together to make such a wonderful family. And how is our baby boy already going to middle school. It's because time flies. It won't be like this for long.

This afternoon, Dylan has 3 friends over to swim in the pool, eat pizza and loads of junk food, and spend the night. They think they are hot stuff. Big 5th graders, all graduated and headed for middle school. I still look at them as little boys. Wasn't it just yesterday that we had preschool graduation? That I was changing his diapers?

I took the day off work today so I could soak it all in. It may not be like this for long, but I don't want to miss a single second of it while it lasts!

Blessings,

Melissa

****FYI, Stay Tuned. In the coming weeks I'll be giving away 3 copies of "The Love Dare" in preparation for a devotion that will be running on the Proverbs 31 site very soon (The Love Dare parts 1 and 2). Shortly after that devo runs this blog will be devoted to going through "The Love Dare" for 8 weeks. Details to follow.)

Updates...

2009-06-08T21:50:00.002-04:00

Here is a little of what's been going on lately.

1. Dylan's game did not take place on Thursday night. It was Monday night. They lost, but played a great game. Great season Cobras!

2. My mom's exam is over. The doctors have scheduled her surgery for June 18th. She will be in the hospital for 6-8 days.

3. I went to the Brad Paisley concert last Friday with my awesome friend, Donna. We had such a great time. It was pouring rain and our seats were outside. Fortunately for $10 each we were able to upgrade and sit under the shelter. The concert was fabulous. It was the first concert in my whole life that I knew every word to every song. I didn't want it to end.

4. On Saturday, 4 of my friends and all of our kids went to the No Doubt/Paramore concert. What fun. We tailgated beforehand and enjoyed the concert. I loved listening to the kids talk in the car on the way to and from the show. I learned a lot driving and pretending like I wasn't listening (but I really was!). I hope I can post some pics soon.

5. Church on Sunday...sermon on anxiety. I needed it.

6. Cleaned the office after chuch. The kids and I do this together every other week. They worked harder than ever to get it done.

7. Jeff had a great weekend getaway with his high school friends. They went to Charleston. I was so glad for him to take a break from real life and relax and play golf with guys he's known for 30 years. I missed him though!

8. Work is busier than ever. Lately I have not been finishing all I have to do before I leave. There seems to always be more. Job security is a good thing :) (It's mostly She Speaks Conference stuff and prayer requests)

9. I have officially decided to hold off on meeting with any publishers or agents at the conference this year. I thought this would be a good time because I've done so much writing and I thought I might be ready to present a proposal (or 2) this year. However, I know very clearly that this is not the year to pursue my dream of writing a book. I think I'm supposed to keep writing, but I know I need to devote my time and attention this summer to my mom. As I said before, she has a surgery scheduled for June 18th and will have another in July or August. I'm content to wait...again :)

10. Dylan "graduates" from 5th grade on Wednesday. My baby boy is leaving elementary school, I can't believe it. There will be tears I promise!

11. Hayley Grace has her dance recital this upcoming Sunday afternoon.

12. I've lost 15 pounds and I'm exercising reguarly and eating mostly healthy.

13. My son, Hayden, had an appt with a neurosurgeon. Because of his spine injuries, he will begin physical therapy soon. We are praying he will be able to play football in the fall. Unsure at this point.

Busy times, fun times, cautious times, sad times. All times for depending on the Lord and leaning on Him daily. Can't get through this life any other way. Ups and downs occur every week.

So, that's life for me lately in 13 brief bullet points. I wish I had more inspirtation and encouragement to give out right now, but I just don't. I'm sorry about that.

May you be blessed wherever you are and whatever you are going through today.

Blessings,

Melissa

Feeling Numb???

2009-06-01T22:31:00.002-04:00

Hey. I have question marks behind the title of this post because I'm questioning my feelings. I don't have any right now! Have you ever felt numb and kind of just like you are going through the motions? That's how I feel right now.

I was talking to my friend, Donna, today. She said, "Are you okay Melissa? You don't seem like yourself." My husband, Jeff, also commented to me today, "Melsa (he calls me Melsa), tell me what's up. You don't seem like you are yourself today. Are you alright? Talk to me."

How did they know? Isn't it cool that your bestest of friends know you so well? Because without really realizing it, I was hiding. Hiding my emotions behind the busyness of life.

And that's what I do. When life gets tough, which it is, I just shut down my emotions and do what I have to do. I plan. I multitask. I do whatever I can actually "do". And I keep myself occupied so I don't have to "feel". Do you know what I mean?

I remember hearing the phrase "comfortably numb" in a song. I can't even remember which one. Maybe Duran Duran...not sure. But sometimes I hide behind a "comfortably numb" feeling. I choose comfortably numb so I don't have to face how I'm really feeling. Or I choose it so I can keep functioning and tending to the work I have set before me.

I'm so thankful that Donna and Jeff recognize when I slip into that numb and busyness state. Each of them reached out. Donna sent me an E-Card, which meant the world to me. Jeff asked me to join him outside tonight to get away from the kids and "life". We just sat and talked. I even cried a bit. But it was good. My my, how am I supposed to act when my mom is dying? This is new to me. And I don't like it. But I'm hangin on to Jesus. I love Jesus.

I am used to being an encourager. In fact that's why I write each of my blogs. It is not comfortable for me to be on the receiving end of encouragement. I prefer the opposite. And that's why lately I feel a little numb. I'm in unfamiliar territory.

Have you gone through experiences that left you feeling numb?

Blessings,

Melissa

Fun Weekend

2009-05-31T01:10:00.003-04:00

Oooh, how I meant to do a Fun Friday post.....But Friday came and went. So here I am...late Saturday...well really it's early Sunday. But anyhow, I'll try to keep it fun.

Fun. Oh, that will be tough. This weekend has not brough a lot of fun.

The Fun:

Me and the boys are in Rock Hill, SC. (the boys are Blake, Hayden, and Dylan. Jeff has classes all weekend and Hayley Grace is staying at Sydney's. So it's just us.) And we are having fun. We've been swimming in Mom's pool, eating an amazing grilled Pork Loin cuisine, enjoying incredible apple turnover and ice cream desserts, and just enjoyed hanging out with MaMaw.

The Not Fun:

The reality we've been revealed. The surgeon told Buddy (my mom's husband) that he didn't know if it was worth doing any surgery on my mom because of how long she had left to live. I hate even typing that. They are weighing out the pros of the surgery based on the cons of the recovery depending on the reality of the months they think mom has remaining. Harsh words that no daughter is ready to hear.

Jeff called me tonight with some good news. He got our pool painted. As soon as the paint is completley dry, we can fill it with water. That will be nice to have a pool with water.

Band Practice was at our house this weekend. To some it may have seemed noisy, but to me it was beautiful music. It was awesome having teenagers playing around on their instruments. Our garage has been transformed from a garage to a music studio and I couldn't be happier.

We are staying at Mom's til about 3 tomorrow. Then we head to Charlotte to see "Up", the newest Pixar film.

This has been a great weekend, but also a weekend that had a shot of reality in it.

Love You,

Melissa

Discipline

2009-05-26T19:30:00.002-04:00

The word has been a weakness of mine for as long as I can remember!!! I am the type of person that can come up with the best plans, wonderful goals, great ideas, and usually a super jump start. Motivation lasts for a while. Then fizzle. Crazy life. Interferences. Work. Fizzle. Laziness. Gone are the plans I once had. What happened to the great plan? Am I making sense here?

I've always known that this is a problem for me, but recently I have been really convicted about it. My lack of discipline is quite obvious if you know me and have a window's peek into my life. It's gotten to the point that it's affected my stress level and my self confidence. The Lord has ever so gently pressed into me that it's time to do something about it. So, I began studying the most disciplined person I know on this Earth, my 15 yr old son, Blake.

No kidding, Blake is wise and mature way beyond his years. I always tell him that I want to be just like him when I grow up. Blake has a way of following through on what he begins. He says "no" to what would get in the way of what he is supposed to do. He says "yes" to the things he is able to do. He studies days before his tests. He gets up early to read his Bible. He sticks to the schedule he has set for himself. If he knows he has a big day the next day, he goes to bed early. If he has a project, he plans it, makes a list of needed materials, and finishes before it's actually due. When Blake decides to do something, he does it. All of the kids have certain chores and responsibilities. He is the only one that I do not have to remind. He just does it.

I told my husband last week, "If a 15 yr old can be so disciplined, surely I can do better than I'm doing." In my quiet time, I felt like the Lord was telling me...."that's right Melissa, you can and you should."

During different seasons of my life I have chosen areas to focus on for a while. For instance, once I selected simplicity and therefore simplifying my life was my focus. Another time, I selected marriage and my marriage was my primary focus. Other areas have been integrity, friendships, monotasking, organization, and motherhood. I don't always have a specified areas I'm working on, in fact, usually I don't. But when I do, that's what I study in Scripture, pray about, and work to apply God's way of achieving it in my life.

In keeping with my new area of focus, I must quit writing here. I am also committed to write on my other blog tonight and I'd like to read a little before I go to bed.

If you have any thoughts on discipline in your life, please share. I love your insight and wisdom!! And I also like knowing who else struggles like I do :)

Love and Blessings,

Melissa

During seasons

Fun Friday....

2009-05-22T22:16:00.003-04:00

Why did I stop? Not sure. But, I used to post "Fun Friday" each Friday on my blog. I'm not sure why I stopped. I think maybe life got too serious. I think I'll bring it back, today. Fun Friday has no real purpose. It's just random fun. So, here goes.

This truly has been a Fun Friday. Work was fun, as usual. I work in a great place, Proverbs 31 Ministries. I do not ever want to work anywhere else. We sit on balls at our desks (no kidding...more about that in another post) and we rebound a couple of times a day (more on that too.). It's one of the only places I really feel like I can totally 100% be myself. I love to work!

American Idol ended this week. This was really sad for my family. We love this show. All in one week, our family faves ended. (Survivor, American Idol, Amazing Race, The Office, and Dancing with the Stars) We truly bond over these shows. We don't always agree, but we bond. And wonderful family discussions stem from them. We loved the AI finale. And most of us loved the outcome. Hayley Grace, my 7 yr old was rooting for Adam. Too bad so sad Hayley Grace! Ha.

So, for Taylor family TV time for the summer, what do we do? We watch a lot of movies and we DVR shows like: "Leave it to Beaver", "Home Improvement", "Monk", "The Cosby Show", and "The Brady Bunch". Ok, do you officially think we are super geeks? Until Football season begins, we have no choice.

It's Memorial Day Weekend. Time for fun, family, cookouts, and the official kick off to summer. What are you doing? For the first time in ages, we have a weekend with no obligations. No baseball games. No speaking engagements. No work. Ahhh..... I'm going to sleep on Saturday morning. Don't know what I'll do on Saturday afternoon. I'll date my husband on Saturday night. Sunday after church, we are going to my Mom's for a family cookout. I haven't seen her in over a week, so I'm very excited about this. I might spend the night on Sunday with her, not quite sure yet. Love her so much.

I haven't talked much about it, but I've altered my lifestyle drastically over the past month. I have been way more consistent with my exercising and I started focusing on cutting sugar and bad carbs totally out of my diet. It has been SO HARD at times. My habits have tried to come back, but I've stayed strong!!!! I've had a great team supporting me and eating the same way and that has helped tremendously. Even the other night, I was speaking at a dinner here in Charlotte. Right before dinner was served, LeAnn Rice came up to me and gave me a small container of dressing. It was our yummy sugar free dressing for my salad. She was helping me stay true to the plan I was on. I know that sounds minor, but it was major!!!! (so was skipping the cheesecake!) I've lost 13 pounds so far. Before you start to think that's a great thing, I have to admit my clothes fit no different. I'm looking at the scales and seeing the number go down. I have to wonder,"where is the 13 pounds coming from???" Jeff says he can tell a difference in my face. So I guess I've lost 13 pounds from my face!

I guess this is enough fun for one Friday. And I've rambled long enough.If you are reading this, I pray you have a wonderful and blessed weekend. You are beautiful, do you know that? Just ask God!

Happy Memorial Day! Honor and remember those who died for our freedom and the love and safety of our country.

Much Love,

Melissa

I have to admit...

2009-05-20T04:00:00.000-04:00

I love the Father. I love the Comforter. But the Disciplinarian part.....well that can be rough!

Did you read the Proverbs 31 devotion today? If you are visiting my blog today after reading today's devo, well then welcome! I'm glad you are here and I hope you'll share some insight of your own.

Last night I had a speaking engagement in my hometown. That doesn't happen very often. It was a large audience (which made me nervous) , many of my friends were there (which made me nervous), my P31 co-workers were there (also made me nervous), and my 7 year old daughter was joining me on stage to tell the opening story (now that made her nervous!). I had an upset tummy all day long. I just didn't know if I could do it. I was worried about what people would think. What if they didn't like me?

Honestly, I came to terms with that early on. Why? Because it didn't matter if anyone liked me or not. My Father and Comforter reminded me that I would be fine. I would be provided for. My Disciplinarian reminded me that I was asked to deliver a message from Him. My discomfort was unimportant compared to the message He was asking me to give. I needed to study. I needed to prepare. I needed to pray. I needed to remain focused. And I needed to follow through. So I did.

I have to admit, I love God when He's giving me comfort and fatherly love. And you know what? I also love Him when He's giving me discipline. I might not like it, but I'm thankful for it. Discipline is not my strength. I'm weak. But when I'm disciplined and do like I know I'm supposed to the rewards are way better than I could've planned.

A woman came up to me after the event tonight. She carried a book with her. She asked, "Will you sign this book for me?" I replied, "Oh, I'm not the author of that book." She said, "Yes, I know. I just want to remember you and who spoke the message on the night my life was changed." I am still shaking my head. I don't get it. How could I have been involved something lifechanging?

The truth is I'm not. I have nothing to do with life change. That's all God. He disciplined me. And I did what I was asked to do.

What is God to you these days? Your Father? Your Comforter? Your Disciplinarian?

Do Share. I can't wait to read your comments!

Much Love,

Melissa

Watching Survivor

2009-05-17T22:25:00.002-04:00

I love Survivor. I've watched it since the beginning. I love it. And tonight is the finale. And later this week American Idol ends. It makes me sad because these are shows my family watches together. It makes me happy because I know it means Summer is just around the corner. I look forward to spending more time with my family outside.

That's all I have to say right now.

JT won Survivor and I am glad.

Sweet Dreams,

Melissa

I Love My Co Workers

2009-05-13T21:53:00.002-04:00

Yes I do. But to call them "co-workers" sounds so stale and generic. And they are everything but.

This month has been my busiest week to date at Proverbs 31 Ministries. I had 3 speaking events....as a speaker at my level, that's a lot. On Monday we received over 400 prayer requests to Proverbs...that's one of my jobs...Prayer coordinator. We usually receive like 15. I spent the night with my mom on Sunday night. My mom's birthday is Wed, May 13th, so me and the kids went to visit a day early since we can't go on her real birthday. We stayed twice as long as we planned. But I wouldn't have it any other way. We had a great time and so did Mom. Then today, Wednesday, it's my mom's real birthday, I had to work, Hayley Grace had dance, and Dylan had a baseball game. And American Idol was on :) Go Kris! But I do like Adam too!

I've also had tons of laundry. I should be cooking. I'm helping with homework. I've had to chauffeur my family from place to place. I know this is common among women. I'm not really that different. But I have felt overwhelmed. I want to do more than I've been doing. And I feel guilty for not being able to do more.

Well, today, my co-workers, lended me hand. They had work to do too. But they put it aside and helped me. I am humbled and amazed. Thank you my friends for devoting your time to helping others, and in a way helping God. You have made a big difference in the lives of others. Thank You!

There is so much more that I could say, but I know they would want God to get all the glory. So let's give it up to Him. Thank you Lord for all you do in our lives together and our lives individually.

Love You! Need You!

Melissa

I Still Need to Learn to "Cast and Present"

2009-05-08T07:07:00.001-04:00

As I read over my devotion, I realized God's timing is so perfect. Maybe the devotion that ran today on the Crosswalk and Proverbs 31 website, "Cast and Present", brought you to my blog. If so, welcome. But I have to be honest. I knew I had a devo (that's Proverbs Staff lingo for devotion) running today, but I had written it so long ago, I had forgotten what it was about. So, I pulled it up on my computer last night. When I read it, I was just amazed at the work of the Lord yet again.

On Thursday, May 7th, I went with my son, Hayden (the same one with the passing out episodes) to a Spine specialist to get results from an MRI. About 3 weeks ago he started having extreme back pain. He had been running track. After his first race at a meet, he was in so much pain that the coach pulled him out for the rest of the meet. The next day I took him to the doctor. We were immediately sent to have x-rays. Then referred to a spine specialist. Then an MRI. Today we got the results. He has 2 cracks (fractures) in his left and right lumbar vertibrae. He has to wear a brace for 7 weeks. After 7 weeks, his condition will be reevaluated. What we fear is that he will have to quit sports. He has football in his blood. So, our prayer is that his spine will heal by football season. But there are no guarantees. It's unknown how long he's had this condition or if even he was born this way. Regardless, the Great Physician knows all. And once again we are called to trust Him.

On the way to the doctor today I told Hayden I thought we should pray. First, we casted our burdens on Him. Told Him our fears and asked Him to take care of Hayden. Then we presented our requests to Him. And now we wait.Never when I wrote this devo did I think that when it was published online that I would be the one who needed the message. But I did.

Thank you Lord Jesus that You knew what I needed.So, maybe you needed it too. I hope you did, because that would make me ver happy. But even if you didn't, I know God used it for me.I think we all have something we need to "Cast and Present". Daily. How about you?

Much Love,

Melissa

Women of Grace

2009-05-04T23:25:00.003-04:00

What a perfect title. Women of Grace. That was the group I was priveleged enough to speak to last weekend. And they were indeed "Women of Grace".

I typically look forward to what God has in store for events that He brings me to. But I have to admit, that this event took me by surprise. I was unprepared. I was distracted. I've been very busy. I've been very concerned about my Mom's health, cancer, and condition...and my son, Hayden's spine defect/injury, MRI, and prognosis. I've been concerned about my Dad and the fact that he's been lonely, depressed, and hopeless. I've been saddened about the prayer requests that have come through the Proverbs 31 prayer line. So many lonely, sad, and lost women.

But God. Yes. But God.

This event, Women's retreat, was amazing. God showed up in a huge way. It's like it was all orchestrated and arranged so that just the right healing would take place. I feel so blessed that God would allow me to take a front row seat to observe what He would accomplish. Hearts stirred, burdens lifted, questions answered and questions unanswered but addressed, transformed lives, and salvations. Oh Lord, I love you so much. I don't doubt you, but I never thought You'd show up like you did this weekend. Those "Women of Grace" really got to experience how cool, real, and awesome you are. Thank you.

Women of Grace at the retreat, please let me know how God met you this past weekend. You blessed me more than I can say. I pray that the message God gave you followed you home. You are "blutiful"!!!! I love you. I miss you. And thank you for welcoming me and taking me in like a friend. I had a great time with you!

Much Love,

Melissa

East Mecklenburg High School Reunion

2009-04-23T21:46:00.002-04:00

Why is it so hard to get away? Why have the past 2 weeks had......

...Oh y'all, I had to stop this post due to a phone call we just received. A friend, just 44 yrs old died. He was helping my husband plan the reunion we are attending this weekend. His name is Donnie Baucom. Please pray for his sister Monica and their whole family, especially his parents. This was very sudden and unexpected. Jeff is absolutely torn up about it. He just saw him 2 days ago.

Gotta go.

Love,
Melissa

The Role of Daughter

2009-04-19T23:19:00.003-04:00

As a woman, I've found that I wear a lot of hats. When you call me a woman, that name carries so many defintions and roles that it's mind boggling.

Let's try to list them:

Wife. Mother. Sister. Friend. Master (to my doggie Princess). Speaker. Writer. Administrative Assistant. Mentor. Tutor. Cheerleader. House Cleaner. Clothes Washer. Cook. Chauffeur. Encourager. Advocate. Teacher. Leader. Student. Nutritionist. Exerciser. Maid. Office Cleaner. Supporter. Lover. Watcher. Reader. Listener. Learner. Football fanatic. Dancer.

****Notice I never mentioned Fashionista! Or Decorator! I'm not gifted in that way. Oh how I wish I was. But I'm smart enough to realize this. So I seek help in those areas.

****Notice I also didn't mention Daughter. Until now.

Yes, I am a daughter. Daughter of my father and Daughter of my mother.

I've been a daughter since the day I was born. Being a daughter for the most of my life has meant I was the baby. I've been taken care of.

As a baby, my parents changed my diapers, taught me right from wrong, taught me about Jesus, gave me love, gave me security, were there for me whether I succeeded or failed, guided me, gave me advice, and mostly gave me UNCONDITIONAL and UNFAILING LOVE!!!! I soaked it up. And I always knew that I could go to them.

Lately, the role of daughter has taken a drastic turn. Daughter now means I do the taking care of. And that's new.

Cancer has struck my mom. This is a new role for her too. She's used to taking care of those around her. I know it's hard for her to allow others to care for her. I know that. But, God knows How I Miss Her. I miss her coming to my rescue. I miss her driving to Charlotte to take care of me. Now the roles are somewhat reversed. I drive to Rock Hill to see her, spend time with her, and try to take care of her. Although I'm not near as good as it as she is.

My dad is dealing with a different scenario. In the past year, he has gone through his 3rd divorce, lives in an assisted living facility in Greenville, SC, is depressed, has gained weight, diabetes has gotten worse, and overall health is just not good. I don't live as close to him as I do Mom. I try to get him when I can. This past week was one of those times. I went and picked him up and brought him to Charlotte hoping that he would enjoy his visit....attending Hayden's track meet, Dylan's baseball game, and a birthday party in honor of him! And he did. While he was here, I did his laundry and took him shopping for clothes. When I brought him back to his home, I took him grocery shopping and cleaned his apartment.

Please hear me. It is an honor for me to give back to my parents. It is an honor to love them and care for them.

But I have to be honest. I miss being the Daughter.

I've realized that I will probably never be the Daughter again. Or at least the role has changed. Will I be anyone's baby ever again? Maybe. Maybe not. But that's life.

I don't feel 42 years old. There's a huge part of me that still feels 12. Longing for love, protection, security, and guidance. Thank God, He is there for my 12 year old self. I don't ever have to worry about being His caretaker. He will always be there to be mine. That's a wonderful feeling. It brings me peace. I know I have the strength because He provides it. He provides it through His Word, His Presence, and His People.

And I'm thankful for each.

Blessings,

Melissa

My Mother in Law Rocks!

2009-04-16T21:23:00.002-04:00

I don't think I've ever blogged about my mother in law before. It's about darn time.

My mother in law is just the best. She's kind. She's wise. She's non judgmental. She's forgiving. She's helpful. She's a wonderful grandmother. She's a wonderful wife. She's a wonderful mother. She's beautiful. She's giving. She's so unselfish. She gave birth to the most amazing man ever (my husband!). She's loving. She's a fashionista. And I am so grateful to have her in my life.

There have been many times that she has been there for me. I met her when I was 14 years old. Just so you know, I'm 42 now....so that's a long time. From the day I met her, she made me feel like I was a part of her family. At 14 and at 42.

She has also loved my family. She has loved my mom and her husband, my dad, my sister and her husband and kids....all like they were her own family. Loved unconditionally. She even loves Princess, my dog, like she's family. Each year, she arranges a vacation for us all at the beach. Complete with 4 generations. She's a blessing. A blessing from God.

Today she picked me up at work and we went shopping for clothes. I'm a terrible shopper. She's a great shopper. I went to the dressing room and she brought me clothes to try on. If you've ever seen the show "What Not To Wear"....well, I'd be a great candidate. But today, even Stacey and Clinton would be impressed with my purchases. Not because of my choices, but because of my mother in law's. She just has this knack for selecting clothes that look great. I lost 20 pounds just by the outfits she selected. And I have a high school reunion next week, so that's pretty darn important! And they were all bargains!!!!!

After our shopping spree, she brought me back to the P31 office. She mentioned that she was on her way to Goodwill to drop off some shoes. Well, instead, we took the 4 bags of shoes into the office and well...all of us P31 gals have new shoes now!!!!! How awesome is that???

I know many women don't share or get along so well with their mother in laws. I'm so thankful that I'm not one of those women. My mother in law rocks. And I love her with all my heart.

Thanks so much for all of the prayers. I know I had quite a pity party with my last post. I'm going through a hard time, but I know all will be okay. Thank you for reminding me of that

Blue, but Loving Life,

Melissa

Blue...

2009-04-14T20:26:00.004-04:00

Hey. I'm blue. I really am. I was hesitant. I'm full of self pity and I admit it. It is what it is.

I'm overwhelmed by so much.

My mom....y'all know about her. She's amazing and beautiful. And she's suffering in pain right now. Cancer is consuming her body. It's so hard to watch.

My dad...I've kind of neglected him lately. I haven't seen him since Christmas. His health is not good, but it's more of a daily struggle not so much a terminal thing like Mom's. He has diabetes and depression. The depression is plagueing him at the present time. Hayley Grace and I are going to pick him up tomorrow. It's his birthday and he's lonely. I'm thinking that a visit to Charlotte will do him good. While he's here he will get to go to Hayden's track meet and Dylan's baseball game and we will celebrate his birthday. Hayley Grace and I are going to get him tomorrow. I'm so thankful she's traveling with me.

My kids...all good, but they are involved in so much. Hayley Grace has CheerDance and Hip Hop, Dylan has baseball, Hayden has track, and Blake has CYC (Committed Young Christians).

My husband....Oh my, he rocks. He's been so loving and supportive of me and my feelings. God love him! He loves me. That isn't easy.

My friends....if you only knew. They have stepped in and filled in gaps that I was unaware needed filling. Cleaning my house. Bringing meals. Having my carpets cleaned (I'm sure that was the dirtiest water ever seen!). And giving of a mountain house for a weekend getaway or 2. But there are still those friends who also have many needs and are in hard places right now. I so wish I could do more.

My laundry...ugh. It's ugly. And thankfully my kids don't mind picking their clean clothes out of the clean clothes basket. Or atleast they don't complain. Or that I haven't been cooking much. Hot Pockets and Stouffers have been lifesavers!

My Work...one of the highlights of my life. I get uplifted daily from my coworkers who also happen to be great friends. They surround me with prayer. They also have been filling in for me when I can't pull my weight around the office. God bless them!!!! They make me take a break and bring laughter to my days. And I get paid!

My Speaking...God help me. I have an event in 2 weeks and I feel so unprepared. The theme is "Leaving An Eternal Legacy". This has never meant more to me than it does right now. My mom has left a legacy and I'm so aware of that now. I never was before because I had no fear of losing her. She was here. I didn't think of her as a memory. Now, I think of what I can keep of her. What parts of her I can hang on to. Her legacy is huge to me now. This event will be too. I just know God has the plans. I just wish I had them. I also have 2 other events in May. One at my family's church in Greenville, SC and one here in Charlotte where many of my friends will be in attendance.

My Email...I get so many loving emails each day. And I also receive the Proverbs 31 prayer requests each day too. It's so hard because I can't respond to all of my emails. I try, but I fail. That is hard for me. Also the prayer requests we receive each day at Proverbs is so hard. I love these people. I love them. I care for them. I wish I could respond to each one, but I can't. I do read them though. And I send them to our prayer team. But I wish I could connect with them. Just have to trust God that He will take care of them.

So, tonight....I'm blue. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I want to have some time alone. I want to read and write. I guess also, I'm selfish.

That's where God comes in. He provides. Whatever I need, He provides. For today. And that's all I ask.

Blue for today but strength, peace, and love to make it through the day and whatever tomorrow may bring.

Thank you so much for your prayers and love.

Love,

Melissa

*****Edit on April 15th.....
My friends, I love you so much. Thank you for your prayers. I read back over my post. Oh my, I'm so sorry I was having such a pity party!!!!! And I was! But that's really where I was. And kind of still am, but the good news is that I know better than I feel. Thank you for your prayers, love, and care.

Heading to the Mountains...Happy Easter

2009-04-08T22:00:00.002-04:00

My family and I are going out of town for Easter weekend...and we need it! We've been under a lot of stress and trials lately and this will be a welcome get away....made possible by our great friends Kenny and Denise.

You may remember a few months ago, Jeff and I had an amazing weekend away together in the mountains. It was at K and D's mtn house. Well, tomorrow we are going back to the same place, only this time with the kids and Princess too. We are so excited! We have movies picked out to watch, games to play, hikes to go on, places to visit, and beautiful views to view from our private balcony!

We will be returning Sunday and attending Easter Sunday service at our church on Sunday evening. I'm so thankful they are having an evening service!Wherever you are and whatever you do, I pray that you will have a blessed Easter. Please take the time to celebrate Jesus, the risen Christ. We are free because of Him and what He did for us.

We will be hunting for eggs, making cookies, and awaiting the Easter Bunny....but we will be celebrating our sins being forgiven most of all. Thank you Jesus! I love you so much. You have made my life possible and worthwhile. You have given me purpose and allowed me to fail and bounce back. Thank you so much.

Happy Easter Y'all!
He is risen!

Melissa

I Rule Scramble on FaceBook

2009-04-06T21:34:00.003-04:00

Tonight I only wish you could've been in my house. Oh, if you were you would have heard me scream, seen me dance, and observed me gloating.

Now, I'm not typically a competitive person. I don't challenge anyone to a game, duel, or anything else. I'm not a risk taker. I get nervous when competing with someone. I get nervous when under pressure or timed. But I do love to play games. And I'm a very gracious loser. "Congrats. Great game." However....

When I win..........."In your face! Move over sucker! Uh huh uh huh. I rock! Take that! Whoo Hoo! Oh yea baby!" It's sad really. When I win, I get totally obnoxious. And I got to get obnoxious tonight.

My friend at work, Samantha, introduced me to Scramble. This is a game on FaceBook that is exactly like Boggle only it's on the computer. I love it and play it way too much. And until tonight I've been perfectly content to be in the middle of the pack among my friends who play Scramble. Samantha has been at the top of my friends, with the highest score for quite some time. She was proud to hold that title. Until a few weeks ago, another friend of mine, Michelle, knocked her off the top. In fact, Michelle's score was so high, we didn't think it was possible. No way anyone could score 168....no way.

I remember the first time I broke a 100 on Scramble. It was a sweet personal victory. Then there was the 139. I thought there was no way I could top that. Then I hit 158. Well that was definitely the top for me. I ranked 3rd among my friends. Michelle was 1st, Samantha was 2nd, and I was 3rd. Not no mo!!!!!!!!!! I'm #1!!!

Yes I am. Tonight I scored a 178!!!! Oh if you only knew how impossible this was. I know I shouldn't brag, but I am. When the final score was revealed I screamed and danced around the room. I sang a song in honor of myself. My family ran to see what the heck was happening. I showed them. Then I published my score on my FaceBook wall for all to see. Well, I did that after texting Samantha and sending her a message on FB. She's so good with words, I can't believe I beat her. But I did. Oh yea, I did.

Well, this post really has nothing inspiring, spiritual, or uplifting in it. It's totally selfish and prideful.

And I'm okay with that. I don't rule a whole lot, but I rule Scramble on FaceBook!

Love ya!

Melissa

***Correction I scored 179, not 178!!!! :)

Love is Impossible

2009-04-02T19:53:00.002-04:00

This morning during my quiet time I was reading Day 18 of The Love Dare. The title was, Love is Impossible.

I've been reading The Love Dare for a while, taking my time in completing each dare that is challenged to me. Although I am already very in love with my husband, The Love Dare has challenged me to take my love for him to a higher and more sacrificing level. I have also been given freedom through The Love Dare. Freedom to admit that it's ok and normal to not be "in love" or feel "in love" every day of my life.

Love is impossible for humans. At least unconditional love is. Just try to love someone each and every moment without getting angry or getting even. Without holding a grudge or feeling like you deserve more. Being patient and kind always. Just try it. You can't do it. Only God can. And that's why we have to have Him in us to love our husbands like God does.

Today's dare was to arrange a special dinner just for the 2 of us where I would listen to his heart. I asked him questions that probed into his inner feelings and dreams. He was so suprised when he got home. Dylan greeted him at his car and asked him to come inside. Hayley Grace took him by the hand and led him upstairs to our bedroom. There I had shrimp, cheese bread, wine, and candles on a table covered in a white tablecloth. We had music. And for about an hour and a half we just talked, laughed, and dreamed together. It was like meeting for dinner after work to unwind, only we did it at home. And the kids were so awesome. They reheated leftovers and ate together and left us alone. It was great.

I love my husband very much. And with God's help, I will continue to love and honor him all my life.

I dare you to love your husband.

C-Ya,
Melissa

No Condemnation

2009-03-30T05:00:00.001-04:00

I have a devotion running on the Proverbs 31 Ministries site today. The title is "No Condemnation." No surprise that all day yesterday I battled the voices of doubt, fear, and sadness.

Over the weekend I travelled about 4 and 1/2 hours away from home to speak at a Women's Forum in Roanoke Rapids, NC. The event was better than I ever dreamed it could be. I was blessed. The women were blessed. I could feel the Lord's presence and His Words spilling from my mouth as I presented the message. I shared portions of my life and how good or bad, God brought purpose from each situation. I also shared how I've struggled with my self-image and self-esteem as well. And I still do! Now I know God is in control and that I am beautiful in His eyes and so special to Him. With that said, I have to battle daily for my natural tendancies not to take over. And it is a daily battle. When I left yesterday, I was on such a "God-High". I was so excited at how God worked in the hearts the women at the event. They ate up the message, they took Proverbs 31 books, magazines, and devotions home with them....they left hungry for more of Jesus and eager to grow in their walk with the Lord. And I made some great new friends too!!!!

Sunday morning I woke up late and we missed church. Feeling guilty over that was not the way I wanted to begin my day. I can't explain why, but for the remainder of the day I felt weepy, discouraged, and well....like a loser. Condemning thoughts occupied my mind. Things like: "That was bad to oversleep. I caused the whole family to miss church." "I haven't exercised since Tuesday....no wonder I'm not losing weight." "Jeff doesn't understand me today. He's probably thinking about all the things I've done wrong lately." "I'm worried about my mom." "Why do I feel like this today...yesterday was such a blessing and tomorrow I have a devotion running."

Then t hit me. And I should've been prepared for this attack. Why? Because the closer we are to God, the harder Satan fights to keep our eyes off of the Lord and on to our own weakness and flaws. Darnit, I fell for it again!

John 3:17 is one of my favorite verses. It says, "Jesus did not come into the world to condemn it, but to save it." Jesus didn't come here, take my sins to the cross and die for me, so that I would feel all blue and pathetic. He came to save me. And in that, there is no condemnation.

Satan knows us all very well. And he'll use what he knows to lure us away from God. I may get caught off guard and slip and fall every now and then, but with God's help I stand back up, brush the dust off, and move forward in my walk with Him...replacing those condemning thoughts with the Truth.

In my devotion, I mentioned a "God Moment" I had once when I was feeling condemned and God showed up in my morning devotion. I'd love to hear your God Moments if you'd like to share. Or if you have any thoughts on what you do to stand strong when you feel defeated. Or just anything you'd like to share at all. I read every comment posted and I love to hear about your stories too.

Thanks for reading my thoughts today. This is the day the Lord has made. Let's all rejoice and be glad in it!

Happy Monday,

Melissa
****Hey for those of you who have been praying for my mom...she has an appointment with a surgeon today. We think we know what he will recommend and the surgery needed to remove this part of her cancer could be difficult and life altering. Please pray for her. Pray for the enemy NOT to get a hold of her mind and that she is reminded often that the Lord will take care of her. I'm spending the night with her tonight. Thanks Y'all!

My Mom's Website

2009-03-25T21:16:00.003-04:00

If you have the time or get the chance, go visit my Mama's CaringBridge website.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/beckynunn1

I'm visiting with her tonight. We are in our jammies watching American Idol :) And her pain is better! Praise God!

Love,

Melissa

I'm Going to Rock Hill

2009-03-24T21:18:00.002-04:00

Have you ever heard of Rock Hill? It's a small city in South Carolina. It's where my mom lives. And it's only about 35 minutes from Charlotte, North Carolina where I live. I've decided to head south. I need a visit with my mom.

She says she doesn't need me there. I should tend to my husband and 4 kids and job. But there is nothing more important to me right now that spending time with "Mama". Funny, because I haven't called her "Mama" in many years. I've called her "MaMaw"....her grandma name. Not any more. I call her "Mama" again. Isn't that just how mothers are....don't want their babies to worry with them. But oh how I consider it a privilege. Especially faced with the fact that mine won't be around in ?????? years to come. Brings tears to my eyes.

She has lung cancer. Stage 4. That's bad enough. But then another Cancer showed up. How unfair is that???? The other cancer is very fast growing and requires major surgery. After this surgery, my mom will have a colostomy. She's devasted. A bag to hold her bodily waste. Oh Lord, provide her with the strength and the confidence to know that this doesn't mean she's lost her dignity. This part of the cancer happened so fast. Too fast. She's only 62 years old. And I need her.

I don't know how people deal with trials when they don't have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I was telling my dad tonight that the one thing that brought me peace and comfort was that I KNEW for a fact where my mom stands in her faith. If she dies right now, she's with Jesus. I'm so glad I know that.

My oldest son just kissed me goodnight. I treasure that kiss. My mom's oldest child will kiss her goodnight tomorrow night. (I'm her oldest child.)

I'm going to Rock Hill.
Good-Bye,

Melissa

My Mind is Racing............

2009-03-22T20:40:00.002-04:00

Slow Down!!!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh, do you ever feel like that your mind is racing faster than you can keep up????? That's how I am tonight.

I'm up. I'm down. I'm excited. I'm depressed. I'm grateful. I'm mad. I'm loving life. I'm hating life. I have laundry to do. I need to go to the grocery store. I'm starting a new exercise routine tomorrow. I'm speaking at a conference next weekend. Dylan has his first scrimmage tomorrow. Hayden has his first track meet this week. I have boundaries to set. I'm worried about my mom. Blake is stressing over midterms. I want to lose weight. I need to get my hair cut. I have so much to do!!!!!!!!

Do you know what I mean? Just tonight I was telling my husband that my #1 temptation these days is just to sleep. If I'm sleeping I don't have to deal with life. Fortunately, God has wired me not to give into that temptation unless of course it's bedtime! But I think about it.

I'm praying tonight for peace. I'm claiming those familiar verses from Philippians 4:6-8. Paraphrased, Don't worry about anything but pray about everything and God's peace will come over you. I give it to God.

Hey, I saw a friend at church today that I haven't seen in probably 18 years. Patty, who I have taken dance with for half my childhood, we were on the dance team in high school together, and I just recently reconnected with on Facebook....I saw her at church today! She doesn't live here. We have a huge church. It totally made my day. She looked so beautiful. The highlight of my day.

Well, have a wonderful start to your week.

Love,

Melissa

Me an "Older Woman"?

2009-03-17T18:50:00.002-04:00

I was having a chat with my one of my co-workers and super great friends, Samantha. Now I just have to pause here and tell you, I just love this girl! We started working in the Proverbs 31 office at about the same time and our roles at work pair us up quite a bit. She is fun, compassionate, caring, sweet, loving, and such a beautiful reflection of Jesus. I feel like I've known her for years. I know I could share my deepest darkest secrets with her. We have a lot in common although we are 12 years apart in age. With that said, when I am with her I feel as young as she is. Also with that said, this 42 year old also turns to her 30 year old friend for guidance and advice. Why? Because I know she will give a me grounded godly honest return.

So, Samantha and I were talking. She was sharing her weekend with me when she told me that some older women in her church took her on a retreat. I thought for sure these were like the church founders, you know in their later years of life. I asked her how old they were. She said, "about 40 ish, maybe 42 or 45." "WHAT???? You call that older women? That means I'm an older woman!!!!" I cannot be an older woman, can I? I'm too young to be an older woman! Well, I guess to a 30 year old I am! My kids think I'm old too!

Honestly, this "older woman" thing doesn't bother me. I actually found it comical. Truth is, I don't feel like an older woman. I'm too immature to be older :) And I hope it always seems that way to me.

I just talked to my mom. She's received more bad news. I'm not quite ready to blog about it yet. Just if you are reading this, pray for her. Her name is Becky. Just scroll down a few posts and you'll see her. She too is not an older woman (62), but is being dealt some serious health realizations that most her age don't have to deal with. It's breaking my heart to watch her go through it. And all the while, she's worried about me. The irony of it all!

Hey, it's St. Patrick's Day! Did you wear green? I did. I had too! My daughter, Hayley Grace, insisted on it. I had no choice. It was wear green or get pinched!

Well, this older woman is getting ready to watch American Idol. Have a great day/night!

Much Love,

Melissa

Love the Weekend

2009-03-13T20:21:00.002-04:00

I left my mom's house this morning. Just like old times when I used to live at home, I overslept. Typically I wake up early, raring to go. But for the past 2 days I've been visiting with mom. It's the first visit I can remember that I didn't have kids with me. It was just me. It reminded me of when I was in high school and could just lay around the house, watch TV, and be the child! It was wonderful.

Of course, there were differences. Besides the fact that I'm not 17 anymore, the roles were a little reversed. I took care of mom. She was very sick. Although I didn't do a whole lot to make her feel better, I did keep her company. We had moments of conversation, laughter, and comfortable silence. I will treasure those 2 days for the rest of my life and hope to have more of them in the future.

I think I was so relaxed and enjoying my time with mom that sleeping in just seemed right. I woke up and saw the clock and jumped out of bed. Within 15 minutes I was on the road, back to Charlotte. My mother was still sleeping. I returned back to my regular routine...work, carpool, laundry, kids.....but also the weekend.

I love the weekend! Our weekends would probably seem boring to most. We are homebodies. I haven't seen my husband and kids for 2 days. I am ready for a weekend at home with my family, watching basketball, and hangin out. Quite a week and ready for the weekend.

While my emotions and feelings are all over the place, I am thankful for the simple pleasures that bring comfort. Time with my mother. Returning to my home sweet home. And the weekend. I love the weekend.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Love,

Melissa

A Few Days Away

2009-03-11T16:06:00.003-04:00

I left my husband and children.

Not forever....just for a few days. I decided to leave my home in Charlotte, NC and head about 35 minutes south to Rock Hill, SC to visit my mom. It was just too hard for me to stay away. She's been very sick and in a lot of pain. I'm so thankful to be here. I am just treasuring my time with her. Right now my mom, Princess (my dog), Maggie (her dog), and I are laying on the bed watching Oprah. Us girls are just chillin'! I don't remember the last time I just spent some quiet time "chillin" with my mom. It just gives me a warm fuzzy feeling!

As for mom, she's still in pain, but MUCH better. She has a PT scan tomorrow. I'm going to stay here until Friday morning.

Everyone at home (Jeff and kids) and everyone at work (LeAnn and company) were just so supportive for me to get away. I left 4 very active kids at home. My husband and his parents are all tag teaming to do my job (carpool, ortodontist, dance class, baseball practice, supper). And at work, Proverbs 31 Ministries, they insisted I come to see my mom. Nevermind the fact that means someone else has to fill in for me. Lynn even told me that everytime the phone rings at the office while I'm gone, she prays for my mom. How sweet is that???? I have been able to walk away from my normal life without a worry in the world so that I can focus on my beautiful mother. I am so grateful for that.

Life is precious that's for sure. And so are the people we get to share life with. Pictured above is a picture I took just today of me and my mom, who is so precious to me, especially now.

Hugs,

Melissa

Speechless

2009-03-09T22:05:00.002-04:00

If you have visited my blog lately, then you noticed that my last post received many comments. At last glance, there were 171 comments. Not just comments, but prayers for my mother and me.

Have you ever had a friend do something that was just so selfless that it took your breath away? That is how I feel.

My friend Lysa (www.LysaTerKeurst.com) wrote about my mother and asked her blog readers to pray for her and send me encouragement. Well, 171 comments later, I have 171 prayers and words of encouragement and verses sent my way. I could not read them all on my blog. I needed to print them out, so that's what I did.

I've been taking time in spurts to just read the precious words and prayers. It is overwhelming to me to think about all these people that I don't know who are taking the time to pray for my mom and pray for me. And why? Because Lysa asked them to as a favor to her. I just can't absorb the magnitude of this very selfless act. It's one thing to ask someone to pray, but also to comment to make sure I knew there were people praying. Lysa told me she just wanted the floodgates of Heaven to open up for my mom...prayers from all over being lifted up on her behalf. It takes my breath away.

My mom is not doing well today. She's been to the emergency room twice in the past 3 days. Now she is nauseaus and not eating much. I'm going to see her tomorrow afternoon. (Tuesday) She is still in a lot of pain. It seems that she goes to a different doctor each day and they all say something different. It's frustrating. And it's killing me seeing her in so much pain. Tonight I just broke down, feeling helpless. My heart aches for my mom and also for her husband. He loves her and is serving her just like Jesus would have it. And he doesn't know what else to do. He just wants her healed. He loves her so much. He also lost his son just last year. It's just hard.

Thank you so much if you have been praying. It means more to me than you could know. What a blessing. I believe in the power of prayer and I know that the strength I have today is a result of that. It renders me speechless. Thank you.

Much much love,

Melissa

The Good, The Bad, and The Real Life

2009-03-05T20:22:00.004-05:00

In October, 2008, I found out my mother had stage 4 lung cancer. At the time I was just speechless. I'm not typically speechless. I just couldn't believe it. The sound of the "C" word just silenced me. My sister began crying, my step father gasped and the tears fell, my mother was crushed.....I was numb. No tears. No feelings. The doctor said, "with treatment she has 1 year to live...without it, about 6 months."

My mother began chemo in November, 2008. Her cancer was inoperable. It was incurable. that doesn't sound very good. I don't like it. She began chemo. It wasn't fun. It wasn't pretty.

The Good: But her body was responding. Thank God. She went through 2 rounds of chemo. Her body resoponded much better than we expected. Praise God. Her cancer slowed down.

The Bad: Mom has cancer in a totally different part of her body. You know, I was celebrating Mom's victory in one moment and fearing her next trial in the next. The newest cancer was in a totally different part of her body. And again....it's malignent. Surgery is required.

The real life....mom is in a lot of pain. I'm thankful for all of the prayers being sent her way. I trust God in all of it. What else can you do?

I am overwhelmed by the love being shown by my friends. I must have the best friends ever. Thank you so much for loving me and my mom throughout our tough times. I love you!

Thank you so much for your prayers! It means the world to me! If you have any questions, let me know. Love you!

Love,

Melissa

****Friends of Lysa visiting by way of her blog. Thank you so much for popping over here to pray for my mom. Your words are bringing good and much needed tears to my eyes. I love you for taking the time to comment and allowing God to use you in the lives of me and my momma! Have a blessed day!

Marriage is love....

2009-03-04T23:36:00.002-05:00

And love is:

patient
kind
not rude
not boastful
not prideful
unfailing
unconditional
never failing

Have you ever noticed that all that love is....well, it's things that don't come naturally to us. We have to work on these things. We have to decide to be and act on these things.

At my wedding, the preacher asked me and Jeff to love each other:

for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness, and in health
foresaking all others
as long as we both shall live.

Honestly, when I took the vows to do that, I really didn't think we would ever have to address the negative aspects of these vows. And we have. We didn't feel like it. We didn't deserve it. We both had good reason to walk away. But we didn't.

Only with God. Love. I love you. I choose to love you whether you deserve it or not. whether you have money or debt. whether you are well or ill. whether you are faithful or not. As long as I'm alive, I love you. I don't feel like it. I choose it. I choose it, because God makes it possible.

That's the way my husband has loved me and I hope the way he would say I have loved him. We promised. And I'm so glad we stayed together. We are so happy today.

Hey, if you have time, please visit, www.beautifulp31.blogspot.com to read about my mom. She has cancer and I've posted an update there. Pray for her please. Her name is Becky.

Blessings,

Melissa

Love, Jesus

2009-02-28T17:18:00.004-05:00

It is the most amazing love story.

In January my daughter was playing outside. I was inside sitting on the couch, exhausted from a hard day. Suddenly she busted through the front door shouting, "Mommy Mommy, you got flowers from Jesus!" She was carrying a box. There was no name on it. I asked her how she knew they were from Jesus. She said, "the lady who dropped them off told me so." I opened the box and there were 16 beautiful roses...a red/pink color...absolutely gorgeous. The card that accompanied the flowers said: You are loved, appreciated, and much more beautiful than all the flowers in the world.----Love, Jesus

I began to get tears in my eyes. I can't recall a time when I received flowers by delivery. Usually if I get flowers it's because it's my anniversary or something like that. And I've never received flowers from Jesus before. My heart was so incredibly warmed to think that someone would do this for me.

Yesterday, I had a similar experience. I went to the mail box and there was a card for me. Inside there was a note that read: Dear Melissa, Don't worry! I've got everything under control. Love Always, Jesus.

Again, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I wasn't expecting this. My life has been running fairly smooth lately. I haven't been worried or stressed out. Who is behind my Jesus notes?

I got a call from my mom last night. She was crying. She was very upset. She had a biopsy done and more cancer was found. Totally different than the lung cancer she already has. I felt like my heart was going to stop. There didn't seem to be enough air in the room to breath. Why? Why does she have more cancer now? I don't know how to handle this. My mom is so young.

Sitting beside the phone was the note I'd received that day in the mail. "Don't worry! I've got everything under control." Amazing. Just when I needed it, I had it. The love of my life took care of me. And through some divine intervention, Jesus sent me the words I needed before I would actually need them.

No one on this earth could do that. My husband was so sweet and did his best to comfort me. But it was the words of Jesus that brought me comfort last night.

The greatest love story ever told should be the love story between me and Jesus.....you and Jesus. I don't think I could get through life without Him. I know I couldn't.

Not only does Jesus love us, but He sees us and He knows everything we go through. He cares. And He has everything under control.

Now that's an amazing love!

Much Love,

Melissa

****Thank you so much for all of the comments on the last 2 posts. I'm being encouraged through your comments! I've been busy responding to the many emails that came in after my devo last week. So many women share the same struggles in marriage. Hang in there! Choose to love! Just don't give up hope.

Is Love a Feeling or a Decision?

2009-02-25T20:40:00.002-05:00

First let me say, this one can cause some controversy! I am going to give you MY OPINION here. You may agree. You may disagree. And that's ok.

I wanted love to be a feeling. In fact I expected it to be a feeling. And I was let down big time.

My view of love for most of my life has been someone to provide for me, rescue me, wine and dine me, romance me, make me laugh, write me love notes, pray with and for me, etc. Someone that I would forever be crazy about and feel all lovey dovey with. I believed in loved stories and wanted one in my own life so badly.

This view is not wrong. But for me it wasn't real. And that was the problem. I so desired those "characteristics" of love...but I wasn't feeling them. So, because I didn't feel love did that mean I wasn't loved or in love?

So, in my opinion, love is a decision. Maybe there are some that think it is a feeling. But feelings change quickly and love cannot change. Not if it's forever it can't. Feelings are so fickle. And if you are going to be with someone forever, well then you have to decide to love them. Life enters and interferes with fairy tale romance. So, doesn't love have to be a decision?

The first time I ever heard of love being a decision was when I started reading Karen Kingsbury novels, the Baxter Family series. Then I began "The Love Dare" and the concept was reinforced. In fact it brought me comfort. It made me feel more normal that I had to decide to love and didn't feel it all the time. And that doesn't take away from my love for Jeff. I am excited to decide to love Jeff.

The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13 that love is patient and kind. Well I don't know about you, but patient and kind don't come natural to me. Especially the patient part. To be patient and kind, I have to decide to be patient and kind. So if love is patient and kind, for me it is a decision. I don't ever feel patient. Maybe kind. But not patient. It's a decision.

So, choose to love. If you are married, love your husband. Choose it. Choose it. Choose it. You have a choice. Love him. You chose to marry him and took vows to love him for better or worse. So choose to love him.

We'll talk about more later. Please comment and question.

Blessings,

Melissa

Barely Surviving to Thriving???

2009-02-23T07:59:00.004-05:00

Please check back to my blog a little later. I'll be following up today's devotion on Encouragement for Today where I'll go into a few more details about my marriage and it's transformation. (or I guess I should say my transformation).

In the mean time, if you have any questions for me, please post them here and I'll answer them. Ask whatever you want, anything goes!

Also, check out the post right below this one. If your marriage is struggling, I pray it encourages you. Two years ago I would have thought for sure we could never have had a weekend like the one I wrote about in that post.

Thanks for visiting my blog. I'll be back soon to write more!

Blessings,

Melissa

Well, I'm back. I thought I'd post around noon. Only I received so many emails that had similar stories or were from women (and men) who wanted to share their marriage journey and struggles. The comments on this blog today had me very prayerful. I can't address everything here today, but over the next few days I'll try to cover what I can.

Many people mentioned "The Love Dare". Very interesting because just this past weekend I wrote a devotion titled "The Love Dare", based on the book, which is based on the movie Fireproof, which I have been using since Christmas. It totally changed my perspective on love. I'm not going to say much more about it now because I plan to do much more with it when the devo runs. But, I would recommend it. I started it without telling my husband. I changed inside and he noticed a difference within the first 5 days.

I said to my husband tonight, "Honey, was it worth it? What we went through? Maybe so we could encourage others and bring hope to their marriages?" He couldn't say "yes".....we went through a lot of pain. And we wouldn't ever wish it on anyone else. But....God has brought good out of it. We don't share every detail of our issues. Some are just too painful and personal. But God has used the "barely surviving" of our marriage and empowered us to share what we are ready to share to hopefully bring hope to those struggling.

One of my roles at Proverbs 31 is to go through the prayer requests each day and forward them on to our Prayer Warriors, who faithfully pray. As I copy and paste these requests, I too pray for them. I also answer the phone in our office and pray with people over the phone. Do you know what our #1 prayer request is? MARRIAGE! So nothing anyone has posted has surprised or shocked me. I've either experienced it myself or heard it over and over through those in need of prayer. I know first hand that marriage is being attacked in a big way. #2 is finances. I don't know about you, but financial hardship was another thing hurting my marriage. (I have a devo coming up about that too!)

The truth is, marriage is not easy. When we say our vows, the preacher makes you repeat, "for better or worse" that's because there will be better and you can bet there will be worse. We make a commitment to stay together NO MATTER WHAT...."for better or for worse"....but when the worse comes, we aren't prepared and we get scared and bail. It's hard. But we have all we need to withstand it. We have Jesus.

Now I know that sounds great. I used to look at those couples with "perfect marriages" and think....there is no way she understands what I have to live with...what I'm going through...the fear, the uncertainty, the debt, the lack of control....etc.

Anyway, for now, if I can give anyone a piece of advice, it would be....DON'T GIVE UP! There is hope. God is so much bigger than we can grasp. Our relationship with Him is the ONLY thing we can totally count on 100%. We have to have that right first, then direct our focus on our husbands.

Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage by Stormie O'Martian was big for me. I read Power of a Praying Wife first some years back. I picked up this one last year when my marriage was on the brink of extinction. It touched on issues no one wants to talk about. You know the "secret" things you can't tell your church friends. Needless to say it was one of many resources that helped me.

Thank you so much for writing me. I will try to address the topics mentioned in the posts for the remaining of the week. And if you have any personal questions, feel free to contact me directly at Melissa@MelissaTaylor.org. God Bless you. And God Bless your marriage.

Much Love,

Melissa

The 2 devotions I wrote previously that I mentioned in my devotion, you can find here:

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/love-me-heart-of-lost-teenage-girl.html

http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/i-love-you-heart-of-married-woman.html

Happy Anniversary to Me and Jeff!

2009-02-09T21:34:00.006-05:00

If you asked me what was the best weekend I had ever had in my life was, I could tell you without a doubt. In fact, it just happened.

My husband and I are celebrating our 19 year marriage anniversary on February 10th. If you've read my blog ever, then you know that the past few years have not been easy for us. But we never gave up. We believed in our marriage, each other, and that God could restore what had been lost. I'm so thankful that both of us were so committed. We are back and better than ever.

We went away alone together. Our great friends, Kenny and Denise, have a mountain house. I asked them if we could use it for an anniversary getaway and they were thrilled to offer it. I really wanted to surprise Jeff with the weekend. But Jeff hates surprises. So, 2 weeks ago, I told him about it. And we have been looking forward to it ever since. It way surpassed my expectations.

Of course, about 5 zillion things tried to keep us from leaving on time. Work, kid issues, etc etc....we finally left Charlotte at 6:30 pm. And arrived in paradise at 9:00.

Our getaway home was located in the NC mountains. It was unseasonably warm, which was great with me. We spent our first night laying out on the upper deck of the house. We could see every star God created. The moon was almost full. We even heard coyotes howling. Amazing. It was night that I am certain God created just for us. Perfect. No interruptions. It's crazy how much you can talk about when no one is around to interrupt you. We just talked, laughed, danced, and did other husband and wife activities. :)

Saturday was a day I'll never forget. Probably most of all because it is one of the only days I remember that I never looked at the time or worried about it. We woke up whenever. Had coffee unaware of the time. Took a drive on the Blueridge Parkway. Went into Boone, where both of us went to college. Then went back on the parkway and had a picnic. Headed back to the house when we noticed the sun was setting. So relaxing. So fun. We really enjoyed each other. We were able to complete sentences. The day ended with us returning to our mountain getaway, watching a movie, cooking dinner, taking a bubble bath, and gazing at the stars again. Paradise.

Take a look:

Jeff standing (posing) in the middle of an open field. Just look at the beautiful color of the sky!

And here is Jeff in our old stomping grounds. Back in the day, this was the TKE House at Appalachian State University. Jeff lived there. (He's posing again.)

This is Josh. Some call him Joshua. He is as much a part of Boone, NC as The Daniel Boone Inn. He has walked the streets of Boone with no real home for years and years. He was there 20 years ago when we went to school there, and we were so excited to see him still there today. And yes, that is his hair you are seeing.

Our little picnic spot on the Blueridge Parkway at the Moses Cone House.

The view from our picnic. Look lakes freeze in NC too!

The view from the top! This was the view from the home where we stayed. Amazing!

No better way to end a fabulous day than with a fabulous bubble bath in a huge jacuzzi tub.

Sunday morning came too soon. Although no alarm clock woke us up, we knew that once we got up, it would be time to enter back into the "real world" again soon.

Did we have a great time together? Yes.
Do I recommend some time away together for every couple? Yes.
Did I miss my kids? No. (sorry, but I didn't!)
Do I feel like our marriage was officially restored? Yes.

Jeff, If and when you read this...I want you to know how much I choose to love you. Thank you so much for making me a priority in your life. Because of you, I am a better person than I ever dreamed I could be. The Love Dare comes easy when it's you I'm daring to love! My tank is full. This was the best weekend of my life.

19 years of marriage doesn't come easy. But the view from the top is worth every bit of work and effort.

Happy Anniversary to Me and Jeff....wow, it seems like just yesterday that I walked down the aisle to become his wife. Best decision I ever made.

Love,

Melissa

25 Random Things

2009-02-05T20:43:00.002-05:00

If you are on Facebook, this may be familiar to you. 25 Random things. That seems to be the latest fad on there.

I've had a Facebook page for a year now. I admit it. I love it! I have reconnected with people that I have no doubt I would have never seen or heard from again. I not only have connected with old friends but also: kept in better touch with my cousins; related to my kids in a new way;kept in touch with friends from blogging, conferences, and P31; my mother, father, and mother in law are on there; shared pictures; and become partially addicted to new games (Scramble and Word Challenge). I love Facebook.

Well, the latest thing to do on Facebook has been "25 Random Things". In recent weeks, personal information has spread furiously across Facebook via a simple application many of us have come to know as the "25 Random Things" note. The premise is simple: Users write 25 random things about themselves. when they're done, they send the list to 25 of their friends and encourage them all to continue the chain. It's been a great way to learn stuff about friends and family that I never knew. I knew many people were participating, including me. But I was super surprised to see "25 Random Things" on the front page of "The Charlotte Observer", our local newspaper. The front page!!!! Is it that popular???? Evidently so. Either that, or there's just not much news to report.

So, in honor of the popularity of the "25 Random things", I figured I'd go ahead and post mine here. Here they are. 25 Random Things about Melissa.....and in typical Melissa fashion, I couldn't stick to the rules....I had to list 30!

1. My husband is by far the most amazing person I've ever known. I am a better person today for being with him for so long. I know I can always count on him.

2. My children, Blake, Hayden, Dylan, and Hayley Grace...and even Princess (yes, my sweet doggie) brighten my everyday with their love, humor, excitement, and acceptance.

3. My cousins absolutely rock!!!! I have the greatest cuzins in all the world. Love them to pieces.

4. The funniest people I know are: Jeff, Robbie, my dad, and Dylan.

5. My mother is the most beautiful woman I know.

6. God is the center of my world. Seriously, Jesus rocks my world and I have dedicated my whole life to Him.

7. Brad Paisley can sing to me anytime and anywhere. She's Everything would be my choice. :)

8. Elvis Presley music gives me a good warm cozy feeling. I remember dancing to an Elvis 8-track when I was 4 yrs old with my parents.

9. I love having Girl's Night with Hayley Grace, Donna, and Sydney.

10. I miss my Fab 5 like you just don't know.

11. I have the greatest job ever. I work with the funnest and most amazing people. Going to work is one of the highlights of my day!

12. Van Halen was the first concert I ever went to. I went with Donna Faulkner. I learned about things I did not know existed.

13. I love the beach. The ocean, the sand, the shells, the waves, sunrise, and sunset. Nothing more peaceful to me than the beach. I hope to live there one day. Really I do.

14. Disney World is my favorite family vacation.

15. I'm either fit or fat. Never been much of in between. I'm still looking for a happy medium.

16. I am currently reading The Chronological Bible, The Love Dare, and Sunrise.

17. I am a speaker and writer for Proverbs 31 Ministries. This has taken me to New York, California, and The Bahamas...places I had never been to prior. It has also given me the sweetest friends...friends that feel like family.

18. My dog, Princess, was the best birthday present I ever received. The 2nd best was my trip to Greensboro to see Def Leppard, Styx, and REO Speedwagon...just last year! Great memories.

19. I've seen Jimmy Buffett more than anyone else in concert....or maybe Duran Duran.

20. I miss my grandparents more than I can say.

21. My favorite movie is Steel Magnolias. I also love Doris Day movies.

22. I am a Gamecock by birth. Mountaineer by college allegiance. Gator by my son, Hayden. I just love college football to the point of passion.

23. I am content with what I have.

24. I say "I Love You" to Jeff and my kids every day.

25. I sponsor a child through Compassion International. Her name is Maria. She is beautiful. I consider this sponsorship one of the most meaningful, valuable,and important things I've ever been a part of.

26. (yes I know it says 25, but I have more) I love my church. You should visit www.ElevationChurch.org sometime if you have a moment. It has changed my family in great ways.

27. It is my 42nd birthday today.

28. I love American Idol. I've met many of the Idols including Fantasia, Taylor Hicks, and David Cook. David Cook is my favorite. I also met Chris Daughtry and Kelly Pickler. That does not make me better than you. It was just fun.

29. I have 2 toes stuck together on both of my feet. Do NOT call me a duck.

30. I am happy thanks to Lexapro. Ha! Just kidding. Well, kind of. I am happy thanks to God and you! Love life. Love to laugh. It's all good.

There's the big 25...well 30! So what's the big deal? Idk! But it has made a big splash across Facebook and the front page of the paper.

I am heading to the mountains tomorrow where I will have no cell phone service and no internet. I'll be with Jeff, my husband and no one else. We are celebrating our 19 yr wedding anniversary. I am so excited about this. Our friends, Kenny and Denise, have a mountain house and they have graciously offered to let us have it for the weekend to get away. It's been so long since we've had time away alone. I'm so thankful for this time we have been given. Jeff's parents are keeping our kids and Princess (sweet doggie). OH, I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great weekend and thanks for welcoming me back into the bloggy world.

Love,

Melissa

Random Thoughts....

2009-02-04T22:45:00.001-05:00

I'm almost emabarrassed (and if I just mispelled embarrassed, I'm even more embarrassed!) because I have a blog and I did not post for the entire month of January. In fact I have a few blogs and didn't post on any of them. Not only that, I haven't read any of my favorite blogs either.

When I started my blogs, I had such grand plans for them. First this one...my general blog, www.MelissaTaylor.blogspot.com. Then my www.BeautifulP31.blogspot.com blog, which addressed both my struggle and my passion for us all to know we are beautiful just because God made us. And finally, in August, 2008, I started a blog for teens. I have such a heart for teen girls. As I tried to keep it all up, I just became overwhelmed. As the old saying goes, I bit off more than I can chew.

I thought about merging 2 of my blogs, but I have since reconsidered. I am putting the teen blog on hold. Truthfully, teens are not into blogging. I may end up using that blog for something and I may not. For now, I'm not. But I have made a decision to keep this blog and the "I Am Beautiful" blog active. For a while, not only have I not been blogging, but I also haven't been writing devotions, articles, or studying and preparing for my messages like I usually do. I have just been in a state of paralysis or something. Slack maybe. Resting maybe. I've been spending time with my family. And I have been reading a lot. And most importantly, I've been working so hard on my marriage. I started "The Love Dare" and I'm half way through. I'm sure I'll write more on that later because it has made such a huge impact on me, the way I view marriage, and my marriage itself.

This weekend Jeff and I are leaving on a getaway for just the 2 of us. Our friends, Kenny and Denise, have a gorgeous mountain house with amazing views. We are leaving Friday and staying the weekend. We haven't been away with no kids in a few years. I am so excited. I can't wait. We will have no internet connection, no cell phone connection, and no kids. Whatever will we do? ;)

I'm watching basketball right now. I'm a football girl, but since football is over, I'm hopping on the bb train for a while. Still pulling for the same teams though.

It snowed last night. My kids had no school today. I'm hoping they will be back in school tomorrow.

Love,

Melissa

The Week Between Christmas and New Years

2008-12-26T21:22:00.002-05:00

Christmas is over. I get so excited for the Christmas to get here. I love the lights. I love the tree. I love the decorations. In fact, I'd love to have my Christmas decorations up all year. I think my house looks boring when I take them down! I love the music. I love the focus on Jesus. And I'm so sad when it ends.

However....one of my favorite weeks of the whole year is the week between Christmas and New Year's. The busyness of Christmas is gone. The decorations and lights are still up (I never rush to take them down). The kids are still out of school. There is lots of football on TV. I don't have to work. It is a week that I can truly slow down, reflect on the past and make some new plans for the future, and not have any pressing deadlines. I love it.

This year I'm going to the beach for this week. For the first time, me and my crew (Jeff and the kids), my sister and her crew (hubby and kids), and my mom and step father, are going to the beach. My sister rented a beachfront house for us all. We've never done this before and I'm so excited. I go to the beach in the summer, but not much in the winter. It will be chilly, but I just love the beach no matter the weather. I'd rather be at the beach than anywhere else. We go with Jeff's family every year, but we haven't been with mine. And this year is the most special. My mom has lung cancer and we don't know what the future holds. The doctors say it's not good. But we are clinging to hope and to each day we have. That's why this trip is so special.

I began packing tonight. I packed only comfy clothes, a few magazines, 4 novels, and 1 biography. Nice.

The only thing I HAVE to do while I'm gone....is a choice. And one I'm very excited about. I am beginning the Chronological Bible on January 1st. I have never read the Bible chronologically. I'm so excited to do this. I'll begin it at the beach.

So, here I go. I'm off to Cherry Grove, SC to spend a wonderful week with my family.

Happy New Year! I'll talk to in 2009:)
Love,

Melissa

We saw the real Santa Claus!!!!

2008-12-20T20:36:00.005-05:00

Seriously we did. Usually when it's time to visit Santa, we go to the mall. Over the years, our visits have greatly varied. There was the one who was grumpy. The one who looked like a hobo. the one who hurried us to just take a picture and leave. The one who promised everyone iPods, a trampoline, and go carts...all in the same year. (of course that didn't happen) We've had a few good ones too, but the one we saw this year was the real thing.

An all time first, we visited Santa at The Bass Pro Shop at Concord Mills. Call us rednecks :) we don't mind. It was so fun. If you've never gone to BPS (Bass Pro Shop), it's quite an experience in itself. Everything you ever needed for deer huntin', boatin', fishin', nature....it's all there. We are NOT the outdoorsy type at all, but after visiting, I kinda want to be!

In all honesty, we were expecting a redneck Santa. This Santa met and even surpassed our expectations of any Santa ever. He was jolly. His beard was real. He was kind. He was funny. There was no rush, each family got all the time they needed with Santa. He talked to the boys about treating their sister kindly. And best of all...are you ready for this? He asked the kids if they knew whose birthday we were celebrating on Christmas. I have never known a Santa to talk about Jesus! Here's some pictures to help tell the story:

The Taylor kids arrive at Bass Pro Shop: Outdoor World.

Before seeing Santa, Hayden gives target shooting a try.

Here are the kids with Santa Claus. Blake, Santa, Hayley Grace, Hayden, and Dylan.

Santa and Hayley Grace bonded. He told her brothers they better take care of her. The he said, "Do you know whose birthday we are celebrating on Christmas?" She said, "Yes, Jesus." And Santa replied, "That's right. Don't forget it's not all about the presents. It's Jesus' birthday and that's why we have Christmas. Do you know where Jesus was born?" And HG said, "A stable." (I think he was expecting "Bethlehem" to be the answer) He chuckled and said, "That's right!"

In all my years seeing Santa, I have never had one talk about Jesus. We just loved him.

As if all this wasn't enough, we also got a FREE picture!!! That's right, free. Didn't cost a dime. Plus we got to take as many as we wanted. The first picture in this post is the free one they gave us.

Merry Christmas! I hope as you are busy these last few days before, you are able to take the time and remember what this holiday is all about, just like Santa did. I pray you and your families and friends have a wonderful week. Share lots of love and happiness!

Love and Blessings,

Melissa

I Am Brunette

2008-12-12T20:39:00.001-05:00

I was in need of a change. Something new. Something to get excited about.As you know I haven't been blogging much. Life has thrown it's curve balls and blogging has taken a back seat. The teen blog I started in August is more or less nonexistent. I keep going back and forth between this blog and my other one, http://www.beautifulp31.blogspot.com . I'm contemplating merging the 2. I don't know how that will work, but I'm praying about it. I guess I've bitten off more than I can chew.

My mom and I went wig shopping on Monday. Have I told you how beautiful she is? Her strength and dignity amazes me. She found a wig she likes and she indeed does look beautiful. She had her 2nd chemo treatment today. And tomorrow me and the kids are going with her...to the salon. She's getting her head buzzed/shaved. Her hair has been falling in clumps for 2 weeks. That has been so hard to watch. Everytime I see her pull out her hair, it just kills me. I am reminded that God knows every hair on our head...even the ones that fall out. And that reminds me that God is watching over my mom. He knows her every day and is with her.

My natural tendancy is to be blue and dwell on what I cannot change. I have to really fight and be intentional on believing God and trusting Him to take care of things. I read scriptures and promises from the Lord and I believe them. But I still "feel" sad and forgotten.It's been 4 months since I got my hair cut. Now what that means is that it's also been 4 months since my roots have been done! Seriously, my hair looked like 2 totally different colors. So I decided to go for a change. This was a major change for me. I've been blonde for 7 years. My husband thought I'd look good blonde, so that's what I did. Well, I was feeling the need for a change. I got approval all around, except from my husband....My co workers thought my hair would be great brown, my friends thought I should do what makes me happy. My husband would not express his opinion. He just said, "I want you to be happy."

Well, I went. And I made a big change. I am now a brunette. Not blonde. And I've already learned that blondes do NOT have more fun! But I like it. A lot. Thank you for your prayers. I love you and think you are so beautiful!

Love,

Melissa

***See the post above this one? I wrote it yesterday and posted it on my other blog. But I wanted to post it here too, because it was mostly about my mom.

Today, the kids and I went to visit my mom. We went with her to a salon where she got her head shaved. (deep breath)

It really hit me hard watching her have all of her hair cut off. That is such a visual. A visual I will have in my mind forever. At first she had tears. But they were brief. I think she's being strong for me. And I was being strong for my kids. I could've cried easily.

I told my mom today, "thank goodness you have such a pretty face!" And she does. I was so taken aback at how pretty she was with very little hair. I'm so proud of her.

Beauty really is held within. Too often I focus on my weight or some other outward appearance. But if your heart is bitter and ugly then there is no way for beauty to shine through. But if what is within is beautiful, then there is no outward appearance that can prevent it from shining through. My mother's beauty shines bright.

Have a wonderful weekend.
Blessings,

Melissa

What Can I Bring?

2008-12-10T19:37:00.000-05:00

Today we had our office Christmas party. Each year, we gather together and take a little time away from work just to laugh, relax, eat, and exchange gifts. We have a $10 limit, and it's one of those parties where you can steal someone else's gift depending on when it's your turn. I never know what to get for these things. I want to get something unique and special, but I'm not very creative and $10 isn't much. Well, this year I had a great idea. In fact, I think it was a divine idea.

I went to Hallmark and bought a Willowtree Angel. The Angel of Prayer ornament. This was within my $10 limit. But I wasn't satified with it. As I was wrapping it, I asked God, what else can I bring. And He said, "prayer". So, that's what I brought.

I gave the Willowtree Angel of Prayer. And I enclosed a card. The card said:

"To My Friend,

I hope you like the Angel of Prayer I'm giving you. But that's not all. I promise that I will pray for you by name today and each day in 2009. Your good and bad days, you can be rest assured that someone is in your corner and praying for you by name."

Samantha got my gift first. But then Holly stole it. Can you believe Holly stole prayer from Samantha???? Ha! I'm so glad she did! but I gave all that to God. I knew that whoever God intended would end up with my gift. And it was Holly. I've always wanted to get to know Holly better and now I have the perfect opportunity for just that.

I will pray for Samantha every day. I've decided that. And I also have the awesome priviledge to pray for Holly too.

I could've paid for the greatest gift of all. No money, however, could've bought prayer.

So, if you really want to know "What Can I Bring?" You can bring prayer. It was the best gift of the day. What more could anyone ask for?

Blessings,

Melissa

An Amazingly Beautiful Girl

2008-12-04T23:20:00.002-05:00

If I get through this post without bawling, it will be an all out miracle. I feel sad and blessed all at the same time. Grief stricken and rejoicing all at the same time. Happy for my sweet friends in Atlanta and devasted for my sweet friends in Atlanta all at the same time. Allow me to explain.

I went to college (Appalachian State University) with Robin and Chris. They were sweethearts then and are still sweethearts now. This week, they said goodbye to their oldest daughter, Alexa. She was only 11 years old.

Alexa was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when she was only 1. For most of her life she has faced more struggle and trial than most people face in 80 years of life. Here is what her obituary read:

Alexa Grace Rohrbach, age 11, died Friday, November 28, 2008. She was a beloved daughter, proud big sister, beautiful granddaughter, dear niece, loving cousin and great friend. The world lost a brave little girl who touched many hearts. Here spirit was unmatchable and her precious smile contagious. She accepted all challenges that life threw at her and did so with unbelievable strength and heroic grace. God used her here on earth to touch the lives of people everywhere. She did so much in her short lived life. Her face constantly contained a smile with the most beautiful bright eyes, long gorgeous lashes and adorable sweet cheeks.

She battled cancer at the age of one, then had to live with all the complications from treatment including pulmonary fibrosis, scoliosis, halo traction, spinal fusion surgery, and most recently a tracheotomy and was placed on a ventilator. For years doctors, nurses and other medical staff commented that they had never seen a better patient than Alexa. She has been the face of hope for many. With faith in Jesus, fierce determination, a positive attitude and smile that would light up a room, sweet kind-hearted Alexa had fought the good fight for 10 years. Alexa still had fight in her, but her precious little body did not.

Alexa was the daughter of Chris and Robin Rohrbach and sister of Jenna from Acworth, GA. She was also the granddaughter of Alice and the late John Rohrbach and Robert and Jean Thoem, all from Marietta, GA.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/alexarohrbach

Her funeral was Wednesday. It was the most amazing worship and celebration. This child was so joyful and left such a legacy. She loved Jesus and He is the reason for the joy posessed while here on this earth. Her 7 yr old sister wrote a song about her and sang it at the funeral. Both of her parents spoke at her funeral. Her life was celebrated. The service ended with the song, "I'm Trading My Sorrow". Just amazing.

So Alexa Grace, you my sweet sister in Christ, up in Heaven, inspired me more than you will ever know. I want to be like you when I grow up! Your challenge to "find something to be thankful for everyday and never give up" will be something I strive to do daily for the rest of my life. And to my friend, Robin. If you ever read this, just know, I love you so much and I can't wait to spend more time with you in the coming year. You are so beautiful. Just like your amazingly beautiful girls.

Love to All,

Melissa

Good Day, Bad Day....

2008-11-27T22:17:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! It was a good day for the most part. The food was amazing. There was no stress. We all agreed early on to "go with the flow". And we did.

Building up to this day, I've been a little emotional. I just kept thinking about my mom and her cancer and how the future is just so sketchy and unknown. I wrote a while back about not being able to cry. Well, that's not a problem any more. I broke down for the first time on Monday, and I broke down again today.

My mom called this morning. She wasn't feeling good at all. She stayed home instead of coming over for Thanksgiving. That's when it hit me. If my mom feels so bad that she's missing Thanksgiving....she must really feel bad. Already I had been sad just thinking that this might be her last Thanksgiving...but then that she wasn't coming and I might not get the last Thanksgiving...well, that broke me. As he always is, Jeff was right there for me. He loved me and got teary eyed with me and asked what he could do. Then I called my friend Donna. OMGsh....she dropped everything to listen. We ended our call in prayer when she prayed for my mom and for me.

Even though my mom not being able to be here was a major bummer, I must say, the day was still one I am thankful for. We had 16 people here in our home. Jeff's family was here. My sister and her family were here. My husband and kids were here. My dad was here. And he said the most amazing prayer before dinner. We had great food and too much of it! The kids had so much fun. Little Granny, who is 90 years old, won the Farmer's Golf Competition. Hayley Grace set up an "art station" and we all made cards for my mom. We watched Home Alone...which is a tradition here on Thanksgiving. A good day indeed.

So, on the one hand, I have so much to be thankful for. But on the other, the day was missing a very important and valuable element....my mother. I'm left still wanting more. She has felt miserable all week, yet she still cooked the dressing, and the macaroni & cheese, and the gravy. And it was sooooooooo good. Really good. What an incredible mother and grandmother. She knows how much we absolutely love her cooking and she made her Thanksgiving specialties. I really missed her today. I'm hoping to go visit her tomorrow. I guess this will continue to be tough. Not something I want to go through. Certainly not something my mom wants to go through. But something God will carry us through.

Blessings to you on this Thanksgiving. I hope you had a wonderful day. And have a great weekend too! ****It's rivalry weekend ya know.....My Gamecocks better kick some Tiger boohiney!!!!!

Love,

Melissa

Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!

2008-11-27T00:10:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving. What is the holiday all about anyway? Indians? Pilgrims? The Mayflower? Corn?

Well, I guess originally, Thanksgiving was all about giving thanks for freedom and learning about the land and how to provide. What do I do with it now in 2008? I'll tell you. Because I think I know this year better than ever before.

I have been thankful for my family and friends. I've been thankful for my home, clothes, transportation, and work. This year, more than ever, I'm thankful for life. I'm thankful for the lives of my family. I'm thankful for the lives of my friends.

Wherever you are, I pray you enjoy those you are with. God bless you.

Happy Thanksgiving.
Love,

Melissa

Hey There...

2008-11-23T21:45:00.000-05:00

I tried to come up with a more appealing title. "Hey There" was all I could come up with. Maybe because I'm so out of practice blogging......but dang, time has just flown by and I've been busy and my mind has been preoccupied, but I really have missed writing and reading in this bloggy world. It's one of those things where each day, I intend to blog and get caught up on others' blogs, but then all of a sudden it's 9:00 pm and time for beddy bye. It's hard to know where I should begin.

My mom is doing ok. Not much has changed. She has lung cancer. Stage 4. That stinks.

But, her spirits have been good. She began chemo this week. God love her, she is amazing.

I'm really excited about this upcoming week. My sister and her family are coming here for Thanksgiving, my dad will be here, my husband's family will be here, and my mom and her husband will be here too. It's the first time that my mom and dad will be present at a holiday gathering together in over 27 years. Wow. I'm so thankful for that. They are at a place where they get along and can look back with love and understanding.

Last Friday, I spoke at a Christmas event for First Baptist Church, Matthews, NC. I was SO NERVOUS!!! The reason I was nervous was because of who was there. 2 of the women on the Proverbs 31 Speaker Team were there. That made me nervous, although it shouldn't have. It was Wendy Pope and Tracie Miles....both so sweet....but I was still nervous to speak in front of them because they are both such great speakers. Also, my mom was there to hear me for the very first time. She has never heard me speak before. I just wanted to make her proud. But I also wanted her to feel like she was greatly responsible for me delivering the message being presented. Because she was. Also in the audience were 3 women I went to high school with. I wasn't expecting that! It's so much easier talking to strangers than friends! But, God was with me and what could go wrong? Nothing. It was a beautiful night.

Well, it's late and I need to go to bed. Good night. I pray that you are filled with peace, love, joy, and blessings.

Much Love,
Melissa

I Tried to Cry Today

2008-11-05T22:46:00.000-05:00

I have been needing a good cry for a while now. But the tears have not come. Why? Why not? I don't know.

My sister called me today. She let out a cry of regret. She confessed to me that she has not been a good daughter to our mother. And she is hurting today because of it. (now I don't agree with her...and neither does our mother, but she is recounting her past and feeling bad about it....I do know what that feels like.)

You see, my mom has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer. It has been a major wake up call to my family. We knew life was precious and a gift, but that has been magnified times 1000! Now it's my mom they are talking about. I'm not ready for this.

Usually, I'm the crier in the family. I easily cry. Not Tricia, my sister. She's the strong one. The tough girl who can take it. With the latest trial in our lives though, our roles are reversed. She's crying like crazy and I haven't been able to cry at all....and that bothers me. I feel like crying. I don't know if I'm ignoring my feelings or just trying to stand strong. Just when I feel like I could let it all go, I don't. I think I'm partially numb and also partially scared and mad and sad and just in disbelief. Not my mother. No, please. I need her too much.

I have never been through anything like this in my life. And I don't like it one bit. Please pray for my mom. She's such an amazing mom.

Love,

Melissa

I support the President

2008-11-04T23:42:00.000-05:00

I am not going to tell you who I voted for. I don't think it matters at this point. But I believe, with all my heart, if you want to be beautiful in America, you need to support our leader. It doesn't mean you voted for him. It doesn't mean you agree with everything he does. But it does mean that you pray for him and continue to pray for him. Lift him up to God and trust God with His provision for our country.

So, Barack Obama, you have my prayers. I will be praying for you and your family and your leadership over our country. God chose you long ago. And I trust God.

Be Blessed,

Melissa

Wonderful Weekend!

2008-11-03T20:52:00.000-05:00

Why do wonderful weekends have to end?

I don't work on Fridays anymore, so my weekends seem a little longer...or at least I have a little more time at home. This week/weekend was one of those special ones.

Tuesday, my mom came to visit for the afternoon. We had such a great time. She's still waiting to start her chemo and we just value each moment with her so much.

Wednesday, I drove to Greenville to pick up my dad. He visited with us until Sunday and it was great to have him here. The first night he was here, we carved our pumpkin. Here are me and my sweet kids.

Thursday, Hayden's football team, the South Charlotte Shockers, FINALLY won their first game. They are no longer 0-5, but 1-5. And do you know why???? Because I brought the Cowbell...yes that's right. It had nothing to do with outplaying the other team. It was the first time I brought the Cowbell. I was loud, vocal, and obnoxious. And we won. Yeah!

Friday I was off work. My dad and I spent the day together shopping. And Friday night we went Trick or Treating with the kids. We had such a great time. We went to Jeff's parents' neighborhood. After trick or treating, we watched the Appalachian/Wofford football game. Yes, we dominated! 70-24, we won. Good times.

Saturday, the winning streak continued. It is very rare that all my teams win, but this weekend they did. Florida beat Georgia (big time!) and South Carolina beat Tennessee! And we went to a fun party hosted by our good friends Kenny and Denise. The kids got to dress up and it was so fun! Here are Hayley Grace and Sydney...or actually 2 enchanted witches!

Sunday, we woke up an hour late (loved that with the time change) and went to church. Then we took my dad back to Greenville, SC. While there, we visited my Aunt June and Uncle Doug. It was a great ending to a great week.

When weeks like this end, I feel quite bittersweet. It's bitter because it had to end and it was good. It's sweet, because there were terrific memories made and I wish I could freeze time and hold on to them.

Honestly, since my mom was diagnosed with cancer, I just have come to realize how precious time and life it. I mean, I always thought it. But now I just want to hold on to it. I want to appreciate and grasp what a gift life is. I never doubted the gift of life from God, but now that we are facing the possibility of death, it has become more precious to me. It should have been that way all along.

My article in the P31 Woman has gotten great response so far. Not so much for my writing ability, but just for sharing a struggle that so many deal with...anxiety and depression. I have received a lot of confirmation that voicing my struggles with it was a good thing. Thank you God! I was so nervous about it!

Well, I need to run. We are watching home movies tonight. I'm so thankful for a great week and weekend. And my family. And my friends.

Pray for the election tomorrow. It's a big one, but I'm not worried because I know God Who is in control.

Blessings,

Melissa

Freedom to Heal

2008-10-28T20:45:00.001-04:00

I've been writing devotions for years now. They've been published online and in the book, God's Purpose for Every Woman. I love to write for pleasure, like in a journal, blog, email, or Facebook. And now, for the first time, I have my writing in a magazine....The P31 Woman. My picture is on the cover and there's a picture of my family inside.

The November issue is out and I chose to write about a tough subject. The title of the ariticle is "Freedom to Heal". It is about my journey from emotional turmoil to peace. I am so excited about this article. First of all, I hope it will in some way help others who struggle with anxiety and depression. I also hope it will help those who struggle with guilt from being on medication. And maybe most importantly, I'm excited about this article because it is my story. I had perfected the mask I wore hiding a very frustrated and insecure woman. Now it's off and I'm ok with who I am. And not afraid to admit that "yes, I have anxiety issues, I have been depressed, and I needed help." If you'd like to read about it, check out the November issue of the P31 Woman. (Proverbs 31, 704-849-2270) Or if you have a comment to share about the article or your own story, I would love to hear from you either here on my blog or by emailing me at Melissa@MelissaTaylor.org.

I want to thank 3 people who contributed in a great way to this article. Amy Brooke (who also has an article in this issue), Joy Brown, and Samantha Reed. You all know what you did, but also just your sweet friendship and faith in me was a big boost. Thank you so much.

Above all, I give all thanks and credit to God. He has given purpose to my pain and provided healing to my soul. He gave me the confidence to write about my insecurities and I pray He will use it all for His glory and purpose.

I have to admit, I was so nervous about writing this article. It's not easy to admit that you have suffered with emotional or mental issues. But I'm glad I did it.

If you get the chance to read it, let me know what you think.

Blessings,

Melissa

Who Knew? Not me!

2008-10-26T22:33:00.000-04:00

Before last summer, it had been 15-17 years since I had read a novel. Now I was reading. And I read a lot. But they were books that educated me, taught me, directed me, encouraged me, or equipped me. I've read mostly Bible study books and topical help me books. I love to read and I love to read about God growing in my faith. I quit reading fiction/novels because I felt like they were trashing up my mind. At least the ones I used to read were. I knew there were Christian novels, but I assumed they would be boring. I hate writing that, but I'm being honest. I'm so estatic and excited that I was WRONG!!!!!

In August I read my first Christian novel. It was Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. I couldn't put it down. It was filled with love, romance, and it had an edge. It took me away just like novels and soap operas used to do. My love for "reading for pleasure" was renewed.

The next book I picked up was Redemption by Karen Kingsbury. I was drawn in again. This time I was blessed by the surprise that this was the first in a series of books about the Baxter family. I've read 5 more books by KK since, all about the same family, who I have fallen in love with.

What has most surprised me is that while I picked up these fiction books to escape from real life, they have become encouraging, inspiring, counseling, and like a role model family to me. This fictional family has become a great example to me of dealing with life and all of its problems. They have become a great example of God's forgiveness, cleansing, redemption, and love. I am hooked!

Have you noticed that I haven't blogged on any of my blogs lately???? I have been busy. And I have had a lot going on. But I've also been reading!

Who knew? Not me! But I'm glad I do now! And I'm going to keep reading.

I just started Forgiven now and I need to go now because I'm very anxious to find out if Ashley and Landon will have a baby and know if Dayne will find Katy and his family in Bloomington when he's there filming his movie.

:) Hugs, Smiles, and Happy Reading,

Melissa

Dealing With Real Life

2008-10-05T21:59:00.000-04:00

My, life has thrown a few curve balls lately, but doesn't it always???? Yes it does.

I honestly don't know how people survive without a faith in God. I really don't. Because if God isn't real, then we are just doomed and there is nothing to live for. But I know God is real and there is everything to live for!

Life is very tough at times. Kids struggling. Finances. Time to do all that is needed. Mom has cancer. Yes, life is tough. But, I've learned to deal with it. That doesn't mean that I don't struggle, cry, or dislike what comes my way. But it means that I take care of myself and have learned how to deal with hard times. At least for now.

Things I do to deal:

1. Pray. I hate when people say that "all we can do is pray". "All we can do is pray" is A LOT!!!! It's our honor and privilege to pray. Prayer brings peace and comfort to any situation.

2. Read. Find comfort first in the Scriptures. But also take time for enjoyment and relaxation. I have read a few novels lately that have not only taken me away but also ministrered to me because they were stories of value. I love reading.

3. Spend time with family and friends. And do not take for granted sweet times together.

4. Watch football. I love football and it takes my mind off my problems.

5. Count my blessings.

6. Seek counseling when needed. Don't let that be a sign of weakness, but strength.

7. Watch movies. Fun and enjoyable ones.

8. Come up with a plan. Don't ignore life or it's problems. Be proactive. Come up with a plan. Involve someone else in your plan so you aren't alone.

9. Ask God for help and guidance.

10. Keep on keepin' on. Don't stop or shut down. Keep talking. Keep going to church. Keep believing. Sing.

Yes, that's how I survive. Life is a gift. Our life has purpose. Each life has a purpose. We live, laugh, cry, and carry on.

How do you deal with real life?

I'd love to hear.

Take care.
Love,

Melissa

Hey!

2008-10-02T23:44:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the prayers and sweet notes. For an update on my mom, click http://www.beautifulp31.blogspot.com/

I love you and I'm so thankful for you!

"Hello Darlin'...."

2008-09-30T20:40:00.000-04:00

"It's been a long time."

Does anyone recognize that line? "Hello Darlin, it's been a long time" is from an old country tune by Conway Twitty. I don't really know why I chose this moment to share that, but it has "been a long time" since I've blogged. Since September 13th.

I have logged on to blogger.com many times. But when I would get to the screen to make a new post, my mind would just go blank. Dry. I have been crazy busy. Pushed to the max lately. And truly in the whole scheme of things, when I looked at my priorities, blogging was not at the top. My family has needed me. I traveled to Florida to speak at a women's retreat. My mom is in the hospital. The Proverbs 31 office has been very busy. Football games. Dance lessons. Conferences with teachers. My husband had a double root canal with a third to be done next week. A friend needed me. Much to do. I bet your life is not much different.

There has been so much that I've wanted to write about. But it just hasn't happened. I know many believe that if they don't blog every day, people will forget about them. That may be true. But I've had to trust God that He will provide and fill in the gaps. He is meant to be remembered, not me.

I will be posting soon about my Florida retreat. I had the amazing opportunity to spend a weekend at the Palm Island Resort near Venice, FL on the Gulf Coast. I went to share and minister to these beautiful ladies, but God is so good. These amazing ladies also shared and ministered to me. I can't wait to post my pictures from this awesome retreat. I'll post very soon, I promise!

On a closing note, could I ask you to please pray for my mom? She is in the hospital. The doctors are not sure what is wrong. There is fluid outside of her lungs and one of her lungs is deflated. She's had many tests and has more to follow. She's scared. Please just pray for her. She's only 63 yrs old. Thank you so much. Her name is Becky.

Blessings sweet friends. And thank you so much for those of you who have written to check on me. That means the world to me. You are a treasure in my life.

Much Love,

Melissa

What the Heck???

2008-09-13T23:35:00.000-04:00

Oh my, why is everyone freaking out over gas???!!! It is over $5 a gallon around here. And I drive an SUV. No kidding, this is crazy.

It already costs me over $100 to fill up my car.

Samantha (my friend and coworker) and I went to the gas station on Friday morning to try to fill up before the rush. We went to Costos first. The lines were out of the parking lot! We could not believe it. We did not have 2 hours to wait, so we went to another gas station. I'm so glad we filled up on Friday when we did. We paid $3.69 per gallon. Now around Charlotte it's anywhere from $4.00-$5.29. Crazy. Honestly, I may start riding my bike to work. And I mean that.

Short post. Gotta go. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Love,

Melissa

Rice and Beans Night

2008-09-10T13:45:00.002-04:00

Oh, yea. It's that time of the month again. No, not that time of the month, but time to write letters to our sponsored Comassion child, Maria.

This monthly ritual has turned into quite an ordeal. In a good way though. It involves serving, eating, sacrificing, friendship, family, love, and prayer.

It was our turn to host R and B Night. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll explain.

My family sponsors a child through Compassion International. Her name is Maria and I've written about her before. I met her last year and she is just a precious sweet child. She is beautiful. Donna and Sydney also sponsor a child through Compassion. Her name is Nataly. Both of these girls live in Ecuador. Each month we get together to celebrate these precious children.

Our meal is rice and beans. The truth is, Maria and Nataly's families quite possibly can't even afford rice and beans. They are very poor. We eat rice and beans. Some of us like it and some of us don't. If anyone elects not to eat the rice and beans, they get nothing. Their hunger reminds them of the hunger that is felt by those less fortunate.

We write letters to our girls. We draw pictures. Make crafts. Send family photos. Since my family is so big, we attach a picture of the person who is writing the letter. Maria gets 6 letters from us. Donna and Sydney do the same. We serve together. We sacrifice our time, money, and tastebuds (I hesistate to even call it a sacrifice), we pray for our girls and their families. And we enjoy each other as we do it. Take a look:

Here are Sydney, Hayley Grace, and Dylan at the table working on their Christmas trees for Maria and Nataly.

Quite the workers. Our kitchen table was transformed to a writing and crafts table.

Hayley Grace...this is the picture we attached to her letter.

Dylan ... this is the picture we attached to his letter.

Blake and Princess ... this is the picture we attached to Blake's letter. Princess did not write a letter.

Pictured here are the Christmas tree that Hayley Grace and Dylan made, the picture/poster Blake made, and the letter Blake wrote.

Here are my letter, Hayley Grace's letter, and Dylan's letter.

"Ha! Caught you! You really do like rice and beans!" This is after the night was supposedly over. Sydney and Hayley Grace wolfing down the r and b when they thought no one was looking!

What fun! And what a good feeling it is to know that we are making a difference in the life of a child!

Blessings to all,

Melissa

If you are interested in sponsoring a child through Compassion, click the link to the left.

Blast From the Past

2008-09-08T22:17:00.001-04:00

I apologize for the blurriness in this photo, but this is an old picture. It is me (on the left) and my wonderful and sweet and loyal friend Donna (on the right). I just had to post it!

This picture was taken in 1984. We were so young. Just look! And as for the Santa in the middle, that's Thomas. I haven't talked to him in over 20 years. Wonder what Santa is up to?

As for the elf, that's Donna. I've mentioned her here before. She was the Homecoming Queen of East Mecklenburg High School that year. I wasn't even on court. Oh well. But I was a Lettergirl. That would be the school dance team, kind of. We wore letters that spelled out our high school name and danced at football and basketball games. However, we ran out of letters, so I had the mascot on my uniform. See the eagle?

Donna's daughter Sydney, and my daughter, Hayley Grace, are good friends. They play together and they also serve together. Their friendship is so sweet. And I can honestly say that Donna is a friend that loves me NMW. No Matter What. I met her on the bus in the 5th grade. We were in the same 6th grade class. We went to elementary, jr. high, high school, and college together. She was in my wedding. Then we lost touch a for a while. But we've reconnected and ... well .. look out! We are double trouble! And so are our daughters.

Just tonight, Donna and Sydney were at our house for "Rice and Beans" night. I'll post pictures from that later.

Wow, I look at the picture above and it brings back so many great memories. High School seems like just yesterday. I can smell the school. Hear the bell, the teachers, the football game atmosphere. I can remember certain things as if they just happened. Yet, here I am. 41 years old. Married almost 19 years. (more years than I was old in this photo!!!!) 4 kids. Working full time. My oldest child has his learner's permit. My youngest, Hayley Grace, is boy crazy! (for the Jonas Brothers) But I'm thankful that one thing that remains from this picture is my friendship with Donna. :) In fact it's stronger now than it was then.

A blast from the past. A blast indeed.

Love,

Melissa

Fun Friday :) I'm the mom of ...

2008-09-05T18:49:00.000-04:00

A South Charlotte Shocker Football Player!!!!! That's right, Hayden made the team! Yeah!!!! I'm a football mom!

How emotional though. The parents were waiting outside the gym. The boys seemed to never come out. It was 30 minutes past the pick up time. Finally a few boys trickled out ... looking very sad. I hate that part. Then another came out, lip quivering, searching the group of parents for his. He found his mom and fell apart in her arms. I about lost it. I hate that there have to be cuts. I understand it. I've been cut before. And I know it's a part of life, but it still breaks my heart.

Finally, out comes Hayden. Looking rather sad, but with a smirk on his face. He was trying to look sad, but he couldn't hold that for long. He grinned from ear to ear, quietly walked up to his dad and I and said, "I made the team." Oh how I longed to hear those words, "I made the team." (there's an upcoming devotion in that for sure!)

So a Fun Friday it is around the Taylor household. Now I have one more thing to add to my schedule: Thursday afternoon football games! And I couldn't be happier!

Have a great weekend y'all!
Love,

Melissa

How Can You

2008-09-04T20:29:00.001-04:00

NOT LIKE FOOTBALL??? I'm sorry people, but I just don't get it. I love football!

My sweet friend, Lysa TerKeurst, wrote on her blog, http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2008/09/who-moved-my-field.html, the other day:

The football season is now upon us. Yeah. I say that with the same enthusiasm that I might muster up to express my joy over cleaning my base boards with a toothbrush. Yeah.While my family hoops and hollers and cheers with all things pigskin, I express my excitement by plucking my eyebrows.

The same enthusiasm that she musters up to express joy over cleaning her baseboards with a toothbrush? What? Lysa, what's up, you need to hang out with me. Football rocks!

I especially like college football. The atheletes aren't yet spoiled by millions of dollars. There is a band and a fight song. I love fight songs. And loyal fans ban together like family. It's just good fun.

Last Saturday, we started watching games at 11:00 am. We stopped at 11:00 pm. All day. Barbeque, friends, family, cheering, booing, high fives, and in your faces. I was just as happy when my favorite teams won as I was when my least favorite team (Clemson Tigers) lost:) Is that very nice? Who cares, it's football. Even as I write this, I'm watching my Gamecocks (South Carolina) play Vanderbilt. Go Gamecocks! I was raised a Gamecock. My parents had season tickets and I could say, "Go Gee Cocks, Boo Kitties" before I could even say, "MaMa and DaDa". I did not go to college there however. I went to Appalachian State. By the way, they have won the National Championship in football in their division 3 years in a row. They also beat Michigan last year. Do you even care about this? I'm telling you, I just love football!

My 13 yr old son, Hayden, is trying out for his middle school football team. He's the only athelete in our family. He already plays for a Pop Warner league. I am praying he makes his school team. He has football in his blood like I do. He is so passionate about it. He trained all summer, on his own. His dad set up a 40 yd dash area and Hayden practiced in the hot summer sun every day. He also worked on push ups, planks, and back flips (not really football related, but it takes lots of talent to do a back flip!). He worked on this by his own motivation. He'll find out Friday or Monday if he makes the school team. Ooh I hope he does. Once when he was watching a game and his favorite team (Florida Gators) lost to Auburn (they usually lose to Auburn), he threw the remote control across the room. It totally fell apart into lots of pieces. Like I said, he's passionate about football. (He did get punished for his inappropriate behavior.)

I love football so much, it even affects my speaking schedule. Barb Spencer, our speaker coordinator at Proverbs, has learned. She's also an avid football fan. And a sad one. Her Hokies (Virginia Tech) lost last weekend (sorry Barb), anyway, she books my speaking engagements. When I get a request in the fall, she knows I have to check the Gamecock and Gator schedules first. There are certain weekends I just can't be away. I can't believe I just admitted that! (with that said, if God was telling me to go somewhere and speak, I would....I may argue with Him if there was a good game on that day, but I would go. I'm not totally crazed...I don't think I am at least.)

So, back to Lysa. She ended her football post with this comment:

Are you a football fan? Do you have some little tidbit of football knowledge that you'd like to share? Is there any hope that I could be more entertained by people smacking into each other than by my own eyebrows?

Yes I am a football fan. And Lysa, I do have some knowledge I'd like to share. Pick a team and follow them. Wear their colors. Wave their flags. Learn their fightsong. Watch ESPN and read the Sports section to see where your team ranks. And come over to my house on Saturdays to watch some good ole southern football! I'll feed you and I'm pretty sure that you will be more entertained than plucking your eyebrows! You can even bring your family! You can even bring your tweezers if you like! And if you are really bored, well, I'll let you clean my baseboards with a toothbrush :)

So, what do you think of football? And just FYI my Canadian and English and other worldwide friends, we ain't talkin' soccer or futbol here. This is full contact, tight pants, and helmets. You play mostly with your hands, not your feet. So, why do they call it football? Well I don't know that and I really don't care either.

Well, I gottta go. It's 7-3 and I can't just sit here any longer.

I hope you are happy, healthy, and having a great day wherever you are and whenever you read this. And may your team win! Unless they are playing mine!

Go Team,

Melissa

****Update: :( I'm sad. The Gamecocks lost. To Vanderbilt for goodness sakes! 24-17. One thing about being a Gamecock fan, you learn to hope. And believe. That one day we'll really be good!!!! :) Still smiling! There are more games on Saturday!

The Grass Ain't Always Greener...

2008-08-28T13:54:00.000-04:00

I received an email today. The person wrote, "I read your blogs and look at your pictures and just wish I had your life. Your family is so happy. Your husband loves you and communicates with you. Your kids seem so sweet, happy, and behaved. No wonder you can be so positive. It must be nice..."

At first this email kind of hurt my feelings. And it kind of made me mad. Then I realized that it came from someone who is unhappy and when she looks at my life from an outsider's point of view, it appears real good. I try to share the good and the bad, being open and honest, but without sharing too much. My life is so far from goody goody and perfect. My family is awesome, but oh how we work at it. And it's not been easy. We've pain and heartache just like everyone else. And sure my husband loves me. We've had a year of marriage counseling to help preserve that love. Again, it hasn't been easy. Ooh, and those sweet, happy, and behaved kids...:) , you keep telling yourself that. Ha! Boy do we have you fooled! Seriously, they are good kids, but they have their moments believe me. Heck, one of them even had to go the principal's office for cursing in Korean! That's all I'll say about that!

I share all of this to say, be careful not to think that just because something appears near perfect that it is. We have our share of problems, I for sure do, but I just don't write about them everyday. They aren't the focus of my life. As I looked over the past few posts, it does look like we are just always having a blast over here! I wrote about the fun and exciting things. I neglected to write about the ring around my toilet that needs to be cleaned, the mound of laundry waiting to be done, the disagreement my husband and I had last week, the new medication one of my kids started that is keeping him awake at night, my dog peeing on the carpet, the clutter on my kitchen counters, my dad whose health is not good, my aching back, the black roots growing out of my head, my car breaking down on Tuesday, popping the big zit on the nose of a person in my family who I will not name, 2 friends who called me crying this week, or the yelling and screaming I did when my kids would not do as told 25 times the other day! (although if you've read much of my stuff, I do write about that too!) With that said, I wouldn't trade places with anyone in the world, because I am where God wants me to be.

Lysa TerKeurst wrote in one of her books, "The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it." I admit, it often looks a lot greener somewhere else, but the truth is, you just can't tell. Not unless you are living it.

This past year I spent a lot of time "watering my side of the grass". And I'm thankful it's greener today than previously. But it won't stay that way unless I continue to water it. The best water I've found, prayer and faith and a relationship with Jesus. Don't spend time wishing you could be like someone else. Be who God made you to be and water your space well.

Before I go, I have to mention, I am so glad it's Thursday. College football starts tonight and this football fanatic couldn't be happier! So, off I go to prepare a feast of munchies for the family and prepare to watch our South Carolina Gamecocks whoop a little Wolfpack boohiney!

Hugs,

Melissa

We survived the 1st day of school!

2008-08-26T13:44:00.001-04:00

Well, it was the day the kids were dreading...back to school! Here is a glimpse at how our morning went:

At 5:30 am, I went to wake up Blake. Notice the empty bed. He was already up. (such a respsonsible kid!)

So, I went to fix his breakfast. Well, lookie here, he already did that too. (My husband is horrified that I actually posted a picture of our toaster...he says it's embarrassing!) Look closely and you can see Blake has already put his bagel inside.

Oh no! I just remembered that Dylan lost a tooth last night. There it is on the table. I need to tell the tooth fairy before he wakes up!

Good, I found her. "Tooth fairy, please put money under Dylan's pillow before he wakes up for school!"

Whew! Still asleep! The toothfairy made it just in time:)

Time for Blake to leave. He has to be in his seat by 7:15 am! It's his 1st day of high school! This cannot be right! I was just changin this boy's diapers yesterday it seems! "Bye B-Man. Princess and I will miss you today. Let's take a picture before you go. Smile!"

Ok, now to get the other 3 up, fed, and ready for the first day of school. 1st stop: Dylan's room.

Wow, he sure wakes up happy. Must be because the tooth fairy came last night:) "Get up Dylan, it's the 1st day of school!"

Now on to Hayley Grace's room.

Where the heck is she?

Oh, there you are! The little sneek went into Mommy and Daddy's room in the middle of the night! "Hayley Grace, wake up sweet heart....and smile because I'm taking your picture! Ha!"

Now that those 2 are up, I need to go check on Hayden. What's this? "Hayden, it's not summer anymore. Quit playing those video games and get ready for school boy!"

"You all must hug your mom before you leave and have your picture taken. I'm so proud of all of you!" (notice the lovely guitar player on Dylan's shirt....remember Slash? I have Guitar Hero to thank for this!

Now it's Hayden's turn. "Smile Hayden!" (oh, I forgot...he's 13 and too cool to smile)

"Oh, my don't forget your lunch boxes kids!"

"Bye sweet Hayley Grace. I love you." (you can so tell she's the youngest of 3 boys....she carries a pink Capt. Jack Sparrow back pack!)

And there they go with their Dad. Off to the 1st day of school! This year there is 1 in high school, 1 in middle school, and 2 in elementary school. (Can you tell that Dad is still in his PJ's?)

There you have it. A morning in the life of the Taylor's. And it's only 8:00 am!

Blessings!

Melissa

Fun Friday:)

2008-08-23T19:38:00.000-04:00

I barely made it to the computer to post anything at all this week, much less my Fun Friday post. But today was really so much fun, I had to write about it. So even though it's Saturday, I'm calling it Fun Friday. :) Don't ask, just go with it...

Today was a day for the girls! Hayley Grace and her friend Sydney had appointments at "Libby Lu" for fashion makeovers. I don't think you can get more girlie girl than this:

Here are the fashionistas just before their big makeover in front of "Libby Lu".

(Hayley Grace, Sydney)

So many hairstyles to choose from...

Wow! They can get their nails painted and smile in the mirror at the same time!

The girls decide on the "rockin" hairstyle. Libby Lu Fashion Expert, Natalie, works on Hayley Grace.

"This is a lot of fun." says Blake, Hayley Grace's oldest brother.

Awww! Doesn't she look beautiful!!!!

All famous rockstars have cute puppies they carry around in purses. Right? Let's get one!

Strike a pose for the paparazzi! Smile!

Pictured here: Sydney and Brownie, Hayley Grace and Libby.

And now it's time to go home...but not before we make wishes and throw pennies in the fountain. "I wish for another fashion makeover."

Here I am with the "bookends"...Blake is the oldest child and Hayley Grace is the youngest. Oh yea, and the newest member of our family, Libby.

One more thing before I sign off. I am starting a new teen blog. If you have a teenage daughter or know a teen girl, please check it out and pass it on. The first post will be Monday, August 25th. The site is: http://www.beautifulgirlp31.blogspot.com/. It will be a teen version of my already existing "I Am Beautiful" blog (http://www.beautifulp31.blogspot.com/).

Blessings,

Melissa

We saw the American Idols:)

2008-08-19T14:00:00.000-04:00

Sunday afternoon, my family and I headed to uptown Charlotte hoping for a glimpse of the American Idol contestants. Well, we got more than a glimpse. Check it out.

We heard the idols would arrive between 12-2. We waited. And waited. They finally showed up about 3:00:)

Blake and me

Sweet Hayley Grace

Me and my gorgeous hubby:)

Here he is: The American Idol himself, David Cook. "Hey David Cook, I voted for you! I LOVED your version of 'Hello'!" (said me...)

Here is #2, David Archiletta signing autographs for Dylan and Hayley Grace. "He's so cute Mommy!" (said Hayley Grace ... not Dylan)

Brooke White signing the poster that Blake made.

Kristy Lee Cook signing Blake's poster.

And here comes everyone's favorite "dreadhead", Jason! (at least that's what the girls beside us were calling him!) He was sweet as he could be.

Super nice guy, Chikezie, takes time to pose for a photo with the kids. "Mommy, Chikezie's sweat got on me!" (another good Hayley Grace quote!)

Carly, and her tatoo, took some time to sign the kids' stuff.

One of my favorite idols, Michael Johns, poses with us here.

Close up of David Archiletta.

Signing Dylan's hat.

David Cook signing Blake's poster.

David Cook talking to us. Yes, the American Idol actually talked to us:) And shook our hands. "I'm never washing my hand again." (Guess Who ...NO NOT ME!... Hayley Grace:)

I don't think the kids will EVER forget this! They were so excited and just couldn't believe that they were meeting these people who they had watched on TV all season.

After meeting them, we went home. Later that evening, Blake, Jeff and I returned for the concert. It was a birthday present for Blake. What a show! Great talent, lots of excitement, and good clean fun! There were people from age 3 to 93 there! All the performers were good, but Michael Johns, Carly, and David Cook were GREAT! And yes, David Cook did open with "Hello"...his version of the Lionel Richie 80's song...it was so gooooood! I tried not to embarrass my 15 yr old son too much with my singing and yelling...but I just couldn't help it! I was almost as giddy as the screaming tweens around us, but I tried to contain myself...for my son and husband's sake of course!

In case you are interested, here's a clip from the finale of the Charlotte show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-XA3Ey7Lso&feature=user

Fun fun fun! I'll be back to post soon about the rest of my weekend. The concert was only icing on the cake. The entire weekend was absolutely wonderful and I can't wait to share the rest of it too!

Much Love,

Melissa

My 1st Baby is 15!

2008-08-13T10:45:00.005-04:00

I wrote a few weeks ago, how I couldn't believe my baby (youngest in our family-Hayley Grace) was turning 7. Well, I'm filled with even more disbelief that my 1st baby, Blake, is 15.

Blake turned 15 on Sunday. I remember well, the day he was born. I was 26 years old. Young and naive, I thought I knew all there was to know about life. Boy have I learned a lot since then!

Blake is my quiet and very grown up child. He is abnormally well disciplined and very structured. I don't think we've ever had to tell him to do his homework or to go to bed. He has a schedule and he sticks to it. For the most part, he follows the rules set before him. He's pleasant to be around and doesn't ask for much. Sounds too good to be true doesn't it? Well, I agree. I ask God daily what I did to deserve a child like Blake. I'd like to be like him when I grow up! For his

For his birthday, he wanted to go to Joseph Beth Bookstore and just hang out and look around at all the books. After that we met the rest of our family for supper at Blake's favorite restaurant, Wolfgang Puck.

Here he is with his Mamaw and Papaw. (Mamaw is my mother.)

And with Lacey and Gramps. (Jeff's parents)

Blake, Colton, Dylan, Hayley Grace, Hunter, and Hayden

And here is the birthday boy with his Mom and Dad.

We had such a great time. And the fun doesn't stop here. Blake gets his learner's permit this week! He went from driving his little "cozy coupe" to driving his Dad's Accord in the blink of an eye. Happy Birthday B-Man!

One more change in our family that I'd like to share is with the family dog. Princess is her name. She's our sweet, cute, fluffy poodle. Pictured here:

Princess got herself into a little trouble this week. Her fur was matted and knotted. She looked like she had dreadlocks. I took her to the groomer so they could help her return to her stylish well groomed self. This is the result:

My poor sweet cute fluffy dog now looks like a stick! Her tail even has no fur! They had to totally shave her and cut all her hair off. That's how bad her hair was knotted.

Well, friends, I will be gone with no computer until Monday. I am going to the beach with some high school girlfriends Thurs-Sun and then on Sunday night Jeff, Blake and I are going to the American Idol Concert. I'll be back blogging again on Monday.

Have a great weekend everyone. Consider this my Fun Friday Post:)

Love,

Melissa

Fun Friday:) on Sunday!

2008-08-10T17:00:00.000-04:00

Ok, a few days late. Let's just say I'm fashionably late, ok? It was another busy weekend here and I'm just now able to post anything. We went to the lake Friday afternoon, where we were joined by a nude dude and Sunday was Blake's 15th birthday! Anyway, here is my Fun Friday post.

Well, it was a Fun Friday 2 days ago. But before I tell you about the nude guy on lake (who happens to be in my family), I want to share Hayley Grace's birthday from last Saturday.

Last Saturday, she turned 7. It was her special day and it went something like this:

Hayley Grace got breakfast in bed. Her choice cuisine...

doughnuts w/ a Strawberries and Cream Frappicino from Starbucks, and a cup of watermelon...mmmmm!

Blow out those 7 candles big girl!

1st Present...a Hannah Montana Bedspread and room decorations! Yippee! "Just what I always wanted!"

Later in the day a few freinds and family came over. Here is Hayley Grace and her Great Grandmother.

The birthday girl gets hugs from her Goddaddy, Kenny and her Godbrother, Colton:)

The cuisine for supper: White rice w/ butter. (well, it's what she wanted!)

Entertainment for the night provided by Denise, the guitar hero for Hannah Montana's band. (aka, Hayley Grace's Godmother)

She had a great birthday. Here she is with her best friend, Sydney.

Also with her Hannah Montana cake. (Hunter, her Godbrother and Hayden, her 13 yr old brother pictured with her)

It was such a fun day. HG cried herself to sleep because she didn't want the day to end. My baby is 7. Sniff sniff. She'll also be having a "girl's day", which is what she opted to do instead of a big party, where she and Sydney will go to Libby Loo and get made up like rock stars and then go to dinner. So grown up:)

And now for the nude guy story. It happened on Friday, which really does make this a Fun Friday post. Our family joined Lacey, my husband's mom, on her boat for an evening of tubing and skiing. I wish I had pictures to show, but I don't. It was so fun watching my crazy boys, Jeff included, show off behind the boat. Which brings me to the nude guy.

Dylan is my 11 yr old son. Sweet as they come. Dylan and his older brother, Hayden like to ride on the tube together and the entire time they are on they try to push each other off. Hayden typically wins this dual. During one of these tubing events, Hayden did push Dylan off, only Dylan did not let go. His entire body was hanging off of the tube, but he did not let go. However, while holding on for dear life, even though his body was able to hang in there, his swimsuit was not. It totally came off and WE COULD NOT FIND IT. HE WAS TOTALLY NAKED! Except for his life jacket of course. You never saw such a white hiney! Hilarious! When his brother saw what happened he yelled, "Ah man Gross!" And he let go. Finally Dylan won! So, that's the story of the nude guy:)

As I close, I am reflecting on another one of my children's lives. Blake turned 15 today! He gets his learner's permit tomorrow. Today was his day and in usual Taylor fashion, he planned the entire day. I'll write about that next Friday, but until then let me just say, "Happy Birthday B-Man! I love you and I'm so proud of you!"

To anyone reading this, let me just wish you a happy day and great week ahead. Rejoice, celebrate, and make the most of your time. Blessings to you!

Love,

Melissa

****sorry for the way the pictures and the words do crazy things when I post them. I cannot get them to line up. The way I create the post and the way it actually publishes seems to change and I'm tired of working on it!

How's Your Marriage? How Are You?

2008-08-07T14:49:00.000-04:00

My question today stems from a devotion I wrote a few weeks back. I revealed portions of my past which still affect my marriage today. I continued with a part 2 dealing with my struggle with intimacy. I continued even further by blogging about more recent trials in my marriage. This opened up great discussion, comments, and questions flowing out of the hearts of women who could relate. I ended my blog post by saying that my marriage is in a really good place now. To that, questions and comments posed to me went something like this: "How did it get there?" "What if your husband won't go to counseling?" "I don't love my husband anymore, what do I do?" "My husband doesn't make me feel good, he doesn't even notice me, what do I do?" "I'm exhausted from trying to be happy." "What if your husband is not a Christian?" "That's great for you, but what about me?"

My honest answer to all of these is the same........"I don't know."

Now doesn't that make you feel better? But it's the truth. I wish I had answers. I can only share my story. I try to not give advice or counseling, because I'm not a trained professional. And I'm not in your shoes. All I can do, it just tell you about what I know. It sounds so simple, and I know it's not. It's very hard. But what I know is that Jesus sees, cares, loves, and never abandons.

One thing that helped me greatly, besides counseling and professional help, was my prayer life. I know it sounds simple. And I know you've probably heard this before. But I'm going to say it anyway.

For years, I spent my time praying for God to change Jeff. I think I blamed Jeff for me not feeling good about myself. I thought, if he would only pay more attention to me, if he would just be more romantic, I wish he understood me, he loves his work more than me, I wish he would read the Bible with me or pray with me, and I could go on. Finally, I realized that one of the biggest barriers in my marriage was me. Not only was I a nag and a pathetic complainer (a little self righteous as well), but I was also in God's way. God could not begin to work on Jeff with me in the way.

I bought Stormie O'Martian's book, Power of a Praying Wife. I was absolutely floored when the first thing she suggested I pray for was myself. I bought the book to change Jeff through my prayers, not to change me. That really opened my eyes. I learned that I needed to step out of the way. In fact, maybe God didn't want to change my husband, maybe He really wanted to change me! Who knows, but I decided to focus on what God could and would do through me. Instead of trying to figure out how God's Word applied to everyone else (especially Jeff), I focused on how it applied to me. Voila! Welcome change. And a good one.

I still overstep my boundaries, but not as much as I used to. I realized that I was only bringing my husband down. I began praying for Jeff, but I stayed out of the way. There was no miraculous quick improvement, but when I look back to when I first made the decision to think more of my place in my marriage and this world and began to work on me...when I compare who I am today and where my marriage is today vs. where it was then...well, Wow! Night and Day.

I am a wife. But even before that, I am a child of God. I belong to Jesus Christ. I pray my marriage lasts forever, but I have no guarantee of that. I have the guarantee that my relationship with Jesus will. That's the relationship I need to work on first. Amazingly, when that one is right, the rest falls in place. It doesn't mean that all is well, but it means I am well.

Instead of asking the question, "How is my marriage?" First ask, "How am I?"

And I thank you Jeff, for allowing me to write about us, our personal struggles and triumphs, even when it's no fun to look back at the yucky. I'm so thankful we've moved on to yummy:) You are a wonderful husband. Thanks for loving me. I love you too:)

I'm praying for marriages today. Blessings!

Love,

Melissa

When Words Are Not Enough

2008-08-06T11:55:00.000-04:00

Today I find myself feeling inadequate.

If you've seen the front page of the Proverbs 31 Ministries website, http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/ , then you know of the loss of our dear friend, Anne Belk. I attended her funeral yesterday. I thought I'd cry, but I didn't. I just remained in thoughtful contemplation for the rest of the day. My mind raced from gratitude for a life well lived to questions about why this wonderful woman was taken from this earth way too soon. She has teenage children who need their mom. She has a husband who will now be sleeping alone. Friends will greatly miss her. Proverbs 31 Ministries will feel a void in our family. Yet, yesterday we celebrated. She loved life and was grateful for each day, even the bad ones. Faith and trust like this is not something that can be taught. I saw it though. And from watching her life, I learned a few things. From watching her death I learned a few things too.

When things like this happen, I automatically go into a thought process of what would my family do without me? What would I do if they went home to be with Lord now? Are we ready? Have I told them how much I love them and that they mean the absolute world to me? Do they know how proud I am to be their mom, wife, and friend? Have I taken the time to spend precious moments? Or am I wasting time? So much is on my mind.

I am grateful to have known Anne Belk. I saw Jesus in her. She made me smile. The empty chair at our board meetings will be a reminder of the heart she had for God and others. She lived her life with passion.

I am also grateful for my life. I pray others will see Jesus in me. I pray I can make people smile. I want to live my life with passion.

Eloquent words do not seem to flow from my fingers today. I'm just kind of in a relaxed state of peaceful thoughts. And that's what I hope I brought to you today. Words are just not enough to say what's in my mind and heart today.

Make your days count. You are a gift to this world. Hold the Hand of God and take off! Time is precious and it flies by.

"I have come so they may have life, and have it to the full." Jesus in John 10:10b

Let's live ours to the full, just like Anne did.

Anne, I love you and you are missed. I look forward to seeing you again. And when I do, I know we'll be smiling.

Much Love,

Melissa

No Need to Pretend

2008-08-04T14:26:00.002-04:00

First off, Hayley Grace had a great 7th birthday! I'll post pictures at a later time.

And now. On my mind today...pretending. I observed my sweet grown up 7 year old this weekend. She was pretending to be a rock star. She wore the sunglasses, tossed her hair around, strutted and sang her favorite Mylie Cyrus/Hannah Montana tunes. She was NOT Hayley Grace. Understand that. For that moment in time, she was Hannah Montana. She was pretending. And why not? Being a rich and famous rock star seems much more fun than being "just Hayley Grace"! (Her words not mine.)

Watching this innocent playtime, brought my thoughts to a more serious subject. Pretending. Not as a young child, but a full grown woman. Do you ever pretend? Maybe you don't call it pretending, but don't you find yourself putting on a front or a pleasant everything is okay face occasionally? I do. I admit it. I pretend sometimes. Why? Because I don't think I'm good enough the way I am.

When I get quiet with the Lord, I know that I am good enough. His Word tells me so. But the world doesn't tell me so. I get criticized. I receive comments that bring me down. I hear a friend talk about me. Or my husband points something out that is hurtful. My kids misbehave in public. I'm on medication for anxiety and depression. I don't want anyone to know these things. Pretending is necessary, right? BIG FAT WRONG!

My Princess...Be Real With Me,

You are precious and beautiful to Me. You never need to
pretend to be something other than who I made you to be. I don't want you to try to impress Me by pretending that all is perfect in your life, My love. I want you to find great freedom in being real with Me. The
more real you become, the better you will relate to others. No more
pretending, My princess. I love you just the way you are, and I want you to be real with Me in all you do and say. I gave My life for you so you could live free to be yourself. Don't let anyone steal your joy by turning you into something fake. Be true to yourself and be true to Me, because I love the real you.

Love,
Your True King

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is,
there is freedom." 2 Cornithians 3:17 (NIV)

(Sheri Rose Shepherd, "His Princess...")

Now, if we can be ourselves before the Creator of all things, the mighty and powerful God of this universe, then surely we can be ourselves before the other people around us. What I've found out about putting up a front is that it's exhausting. Just like Hayley Grace eventually tires of being Hannah Montana and goes back to being just "plain Hayley Grace", we will grow tired of trying to be someone we are not. Just plain me is actually ok.

I know I will never please everyone and I will mess up...a lot, but that's life. I try to learn from it. I'd like it if my life were a little neater and prettier, but it is what it is. I'm good with that.

No need to pretend. Are you with me?

Lots of Love,

Melissa

Fun Friday:)

2008-08-01T14:29:00.000-04:00

Is it Friday already???? Well, yes it is, so welcome to Fun Friday. On Fridays I'll be posting identical entries on my blogs. These entries will not be too serious, but hopefully be a little lighter and bring a smile to your face.

As I try to think of something fun to write about, I'll just write some random thoughts.
Oh yea, and before I do that, let me say a whoppin' THANK YOU to you who wrote 10 Great Things about yourself from earlier this week (on http://www.beautifulp31.blogspot.com/). I prayed and thanked God for you and each of your fine qualities. You are truly beautiful people! God Bless You!

And, thanks for the comments that came in yesterday in response to my devo, My Thoughts vs. God's Word. Who knew that I would need those Truths so desperately today! (Well, God did) I came under a little criticsm today and I needed those Truths. I'm sad so many women can relate to all I've shared, but I have to admit that it is comforting to know I'm not alone.

A few people asked where they could find my magazine article on my experience with anxiety and depression. It will be featured in the November, 2008 issue of the P31 Woman. I guess I wasn't too clear about that.

Some exciting news that I wasn't going to announce, but I guess I will. I'm starting ANOTHER blog. Yes, as if I don't have enough of them already. The Lord has impressed my heart to reach out to teen girls. The recent writing responses confirmed what I thought God wanted me to do for some time. I'll get more into the story behind it all over the next few weeks. But on August 25th, I'll launch a new blog, "Beautiful Girl", specifically for teen girls. Details to follow:)

Ok, I know of more fun. Speaking of a "Beautiful Girl", tomorrow is Hayley Grace's birthday. Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!!! My sweet daughter turns 7 and I can't believe it. I opened today with the words, "Is it Friday already?" now I feel like saying, "Is she 7 already?" Where did those years go? She's growing up to be such a strong, dramatic :), sweet, kind, and beautiful girl. Thank you Lord for giving us Hayley Grace. We were finished having kids, but You weren't. What an amazing blessing! So, tomorrow little Miss Birthday Girl calls all the shots. She'll begin her day with breakfast in bed. She requested doughnuts. She'll end it with a family party where buttered rice, mashed potatoes, and Hannah Montana cake will be served. Do we have our carbs covered do ya think? Whatever goes on in between will be her choice. It's her special day.

My love genuinely goes out to anyone who is reading this message. I pray you will find the fun in today and celebrate wonderful, beautiful, you!

Have a fun Friday! (Saturday and Sunday too!)

Blessings,

Melissa

My Thoughts vs. God's Word

2008-07-31T05:30:00.002-04:00

Hi! I have a devotion running today, "My Thoughts vs. God's Word". Check it out at http://proverbs31devotions.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-thoughts-vs-gods-word.html . Then visit my other blog, http://beautifulp31.blogspot.com/2008/07/my-thoughts-vs-gods-word.html to post a comment. If you want, of course:)

Love,

Melissa

Move On!

2008-07-29T15:04:00.001-04:00

I found this today on Sheri Rose Shepherd's website. I pray it is just what you needed today.

Its time to Move On to your New Life!
Are the mistakes you've made in the past destroying your present? When Jesus knelt before the woman accused of adultery, He wrote something in the sand that set her free from her accusers but it was his forgiveness that set her free to move on and make a fresh start. The Bible is full of real people who made choices to move on...

Move on from insecurity
Queen Esther…had to move on from her identity as a powerless orphan and accept God’s call to be queen. If she had focused on how unqualified she was to reign, she would have missed the opportunity to save the Jewish people and be a part of God’s great eternal plan for His chosen ones.

Move on from your past mistakes
King David…had to move on from his sins of adultery and murder. He cried out to God and received His forgiveness. God is so full of grace that He made something good out of David’s bad choice by giving him and Bathsheba King Solomon once they repented and moved on.

Move on from guilt
The Apostle Peter…had to move on when he failed to stand up for his Savior. Even though he loved Jesus passionately, Peter denied Him not once, not twice, but three times. When we let guilt keep us paralyzed from living out our purpose we are saying by our actions that the cross was not enough to set us free from guilt from our past mistakes.

Praise be to our God, we are a new creation. As far as the east is from the west is how far He has removed our sins from us—and remembers them no more. Do not let the devil whisper lies —let your Lord whisper His truth that you are totally forgiven and a brand New creation in Christ...A Pure Princess of the Lord

Don’t let your past torment you…let it teach you. Leave the past where it belongs…at the cross!

Have you given your past to Jesus? NO MATTER WHAT you are a "pure princess of the Lord". Pure. Washed clean.

If you have questions about what it means to know Jesus, please email me at: Melissa@MelissaTaylor.org. I would be honored to fill you in and share the truth with you. I want you to KNOW you are FREE, FORGIVEN, AMAZINGLY LOVED, AND ADORED, whether you feel like it or not. You can also click the "Got Jesus?" link in the sidebar of this blog for how you can begin a relationship with Christ today!

Love and Blessings,

Melissa

Mommy-Daughter Day:) Part 2

2008-07-28T21:12:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I wrote about the wonderful day I had with my daughter Hayley Grace. We went on a picnic with a good friend and her daughter. In this picture, you see me with the beautiful girls, Sydney and Hayley Grace. It was just good to get away with "the girls". I asked Hayley Grace what she liked so much about "Mommy-Daughter Day" and she said, "well, I just like spending time with you." So simple. Simple.

Do you think that maybe our relationship with God is like that?

I know I don't have to earn Hayley Grace's love. She's in love with me because I'm her mommy. She adores me. And I adore her too. There's nothing she can do to change that. I may try to do many things to make her happy, like: buy her a candy treat, take her to see Hannah Montana, let her stay up late on Friday night, make her favorite meal, help her with her homework, give her special attention, or allow her to have friends over. She likes all these things. But what does she like the most about me? She likes to spend time with me. Simple.

When we went on our picnic Sunday, that's exactly what the day was all about. Spending time with Mommies, Daughters, and Friends. No frills. No special purchases. Just spending time.

And the night before, it was the same way. The Hannah Montana Concert was on TV. What was Hayley Grace's favorite part? "I liked that my mommy danced with me while we watched it."

Here we are on our "stage" (bar stools, coffee table, and ottoman...yes we jumped from stool to stool to ottoman,etc during the entire show!...and miraculously I never fell!).

And here we are again. The photographer (Jeff) is in the loft taking the picture from the top. Did you know that you look thinner if you are looking up than down? Ha! That's why I used this picture here:)

I think it's the same way with our Father. We can do a lot of special services and special things for Him. But I think He really relishes our time with Him the most. Simple. Time. What more precious commodity do we have than time?

I enjoy making memories with Hayley Grace. I also enjoy making memories with God.

I truly believe that the Lord just wants some simple time with me. Often I try to complicate it. I think I have to have a perfect life to show Him. I think I need to bring Him an offering or pray a certain way. I think I need to do something really cool and special for Him. But I don't really. He just wants my time. Simply my time. My heart. My real true feelings. Time. Simple. Time. He loves me for who I am, not for what I do. "Just spend some time with Me, Melissa." That's what I hear Him saying.

This week, I want to give the Lord my time. Nothing else. Just my time. And He will be pleased with just that.

Over the past week, I've focused a lot on hearing from God. On letting go of the past. On being able to move on. This week, I just want to commit to spending time with the Lord. No expectations. Just simple time with God. I don't expect anything from Him and He doesn't expect anything from me.

Join me won't you? We've been through a lot of c_ap in our lives. We don't need to stay there. In fact we can't stay there. So, let's take the first step. Just "be" with God. No expectations. Just simple time with God.

He cares. He loves you. He made you for crying out loud! And just like Hayley Grace likes spending time with me, I think God likes spending time with you (and me).

Now, go spend some time with the One Who made you!
You are so beautiful and precious to Him.
Love,

Melissa

Just one more picture to hopefully bring a smile to your face! This may look like Hayley Grace Taylor, but it's really Hannah Montana!

Mommy-Daughter Day:)

2008-07-27T21:19:00.001-04:00

Here are the Mommies of Mommy/Daughter Day.

Donna and Melissa

And here are the daughters.

Sydney and Hayley Grace

Today was so fun. In fact, it was close to perfect. It was "Mommy-Daughter Day". Hayley Grace (my 6 yr old daughter) and me, plus my very sweet friend Donna and her daughter Sydney, all went on a picnic after church. Hayley Grace has been looking forward to this day for quite a while now. We originally scheduled it for 2 weeks ago. It didn't happen. So we rescheduled. Well, today, it happened and it was worth the wait. The 4 of us went to Latta Plantation Park in Huntersville, NC on Mountain Island Lake. We had such a great time.

Our first stop: Kentucky Fried Chicken. Oh yes, I did not count WW Points, in fact, I probably had a week's worth today. 2 pc dark meat with cole slaw and mashed potatoes and a biscuit! Yum Yum!

If KFC wasn't enough, we passed a "Cook Out" and had to stop by. This is the BEST greasy food joint evah!

Melissa, Sydney, and Hayley Grace

Donna, Sydney, and Hayley Grace

Here's the hiking sign that helped to show us the way....

The view from our picnic spot.

Uh-oh! Someone lost her bottoms!

Two great friends having such a great time.

I wish I had more time tonight, but I don't. I'll post more tomorrow. Mommy/Daughter Day was one of my favorite days this year.

Blessings,

Melissa

Fun Friday:)

2008-07-25T17:59:00.003-04:00

Like I said yesterday, my posts have been so serious lately. But in my defense, they have been a pleasure to write. It has been therapeutic for me...I'd use another word besides therapeutic here that a good friend of mine recently taught me, but I can't remember it; it started with a "c"...anyway, whatever, I'll continue with my thoughts. (edit here: Amy and Joy informed me that the word I was thinking of was "cathartic"...you words people...I just love you!) The writing, reading comments, receiving emails, discovering we are not alone and that we are indeed ok and normal, well, it's been a blessing to me. If I write about the very things that bring me the most pain and that I struggle with the most, it ends up actually helping me. Only God could use what Satan meant to harm me and bring beauty out of it. I Love Him, don't you?

Today, I listened to Lindsey Kane's CD, "Move Me Aside". Oh how I love her music. When I heard her sing for the very 1st time at She Speaks this year I absolutely fell in love with her sound. It was soft, mellow, folksy, and rockin all put together. Then I met her and realized she was just as beautiful as her music....inside and out! My favorite aspect to any song is the lyrics. If a song can tell a good story, I'm hooked. I think that's why I like Brad Paisley and Jimmy Buffett so much. You can say what you want about either of them, but you can't argue with their story telling abilities. Same with Carolyn Arrends and Nicole Nordeman. Great singers, great story tellers with their music. Lindsey had that affect on me.

Given what we've been discussing over the past week, and it ain't been too pretty, this music had me feeling beautiful and so in love with my Savior. And did I mention she writes her own songs???? Here's one titled, "Measure of Beauty"

All beautiful you are My darling

There is no flaw in you

I have to look away by one look of your eyes

You ravish My heart My sister My bride

Chorus:

Fearfully and wonderfully made are you

Cheerfully and beautifully formed are you

I will give you eyes to see the way that I measure beauty

Jesus give me eyes to see the way that You measure beauty

You are beautiful

Do you hear Jesus saying that to you? And each time He tells me that "I am beautiful", I add on, "No Matter What" because I just can't believe He would think such great things about me. Me. Me. Flawed, sinful, ugly, disturbed, misread, misunderstood, lacking, far from perfect, impulsive, etc etc me. That "Me" is beautiful. He says so and He knows all, so I really must be. Yeah! And it's fun Friday, so let's celebrate!

Right now, go put on your favorite music. Dance with your kids. Dance with your main man. Dance alone. No, don't dance alone, dance with God:) Dance with your pet. Sing loud. Sing soft. And if you can't do this physically right now, just close your eyes and imagine. Bring joy into your life, it's fun Friday and the God of the universe loves you and thinks that you are mighty special. He's with you , He's always been with you. Let the par-tay begin:)

Now, to end this very Fun Friday post, I'm going to share some pictures. Earlier in the month, I shared on this blog how visual I am. And that placing visual reminders around me is very helpful in me remembering who I am and Whose I am. My jewelry does this for me.

Bracelet: Silver, with the word "HOPE"...reminds me to keep hope and always believe:) I bought it for myself.

Rings: Middle finger ring says "4GVN"...reminds me that I am.

Given to me by my friend, Denise.

Pinky rings: My original wedding and engagement ring. Jeff gave me those almost 19 years ago. I will always treasure these.

Rings: Wedding ring is new. Just got it last month. A renewal of commitment from my husband. I love the simplicity of the platinum band.

Ring on pointer, has a "J" on it. For Jeff, my amazing husband.

Bracelets: Cross on one-that's obvious, points me to Jesus.

Verse on the other one- Mark 10:27, With God All Things Are Possible:)

Have a wonderful and beautiful weekend friends. Thank you for encouraging me and reminding me that I'm not alone in this life. And now let's go have fun! Bye-bye!

Love,

Melissa

****One request. Please pray for my dad. He went into the hospital while on vacation this week in Myrtle Beach, SC. Thank you.

Is God Speaking to Me?

2008-07-24T17:08:00.001-04:00

God has so much to speak into your life. But if you don't draw apart from the busyness of your day and spend time alone with Him in quietness and solitude, you will not hear it. Jesus Himself spent much time alone with God. If anyone could get away with not doing it, surely it would have been Him. How much more important must it be for us?

I have a devotion that will be running on Proverbs 31 and Crosswalk next Thursday, July 31st, titled "My Thoughts vs. God's Word". It is about combatting the negative thoughts in my head with what God's Word says about me. My thoughts are not always from God and many times I end up dwelling on more of the negative ones than the positive ones. Especially concerning myself. When I find myself spiralling downward in negative thinking, I also usually realize that I have not been spending enough time in the Word of God.

Life comes at us hard. As I've been writing about lately, life can be ugly, sad, defeating, and unfair. And at this point there's not a lot we can do about it. We can't go back and change the past. It is what it is. Or should I say, It was what it was. But what about what it can be....

Maybe you don't know how to be intimate with your husband or you just don't want to be. Or you have a past that haunts you. You've been a bad girl. You haven't been happy or fulfilled. You don't feel noticed or speical. You are working hard all day and come home to a messy house each evening. You've been exhausted and you're tired of trying so hard. You've heard of God speaking to others, well why isn't He speaking to you? Maybe He is.

At the top of this post I copied a paragraph written by Stormie O'Martian. Re-read it. Do you believe that God does indeed have much to speak into your life? Sometimes when we are left to our own thoughts or even the thoughts from those in our lives, it doesn't make us feel much better. God's Word though is not about self defeating thoughts and feelings. God's Word tells us the truth, the real truth.

Today, try to find a moment alone. But not totally alone, with the Lord. Pour out your heart. Then listen. No noise. No human voices. No TV. No music. No kids. No husband. No co-workers. Go in the bathroom if you have to. Take a walk. Sit in your car. Whatever it takes, grab a moment with God and ask Him to fill you. Read the Hope verses from a few days ago (http://melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/2008/07/dont-you-dare-lose-hope.html ) or some verses you find on your own. Repeat tomorrow.

The rest of the world may not care or notice you. But God does. And He has something to say. Quiet and calm your self and mind so you can hear Him.

There is hope. You are normal. You are okay. And best of all you are loved tremendously, NO MATTER WHAT. So, get happy, thankful, and praise God for the good He is doing in and all around you. During that quiet time with Him, find some things to thank Him for. Be intentional on noticing them. Keep them with you in your mind during the day.

I've been kind of serious this week on my blog, but it's just what's been on my mind. Friday is fast approaching, and I'm going to lighten up. Yeah, Fun Friday.

In closing, ask God if He's speaking to you and if you are having trouble hearing Him, ask Him to give you the spiritual ears to hear Him.

And if you comment here, let us know how you hear God and how you know it's God you are hearing.

If you wonder why you've never heard God, let us know your perspective as well.

Blessings,

Melissa

Normal, pt 2

2008-07-22T16:24:00.002-04:00

Ok, so maybe we are not normal:) What is normal anyway right?

Well, Joy looked it up and actually wrote out the definition from Websters, (see http://melissataylorp31.blogspot.com/2008/07/you-are-normal.html , comment section) and she was right, we aren't normal. God made us better than normal.

Lynn brought up how Jesus used ordinary water jugs to perform His first miracle. And likewise, God can use ordinary people like us to do amazing things.

It broke my heart last week when I received so many letters all asking the question, "Am I normal?" or "What's wrong with me?" It made me so sad, because I understood that question. It's familiar to me. I've asked myself that secretly for many years. I know the truth though. We are just fine. We aren't crazy. Nothing is wrong with us. Many of us have suffered. That's not who we are though. Many of us have sinned horribly and have a shameful past. That's not who we are though. These things happened to us. It is what we did. But it's not who we are. (If you have time and want to hear a dynamic message on this, visit http://www.elevationchurch.org/ and click on the message for "Week 3- Identity" and watch Pastor Stephen Furtick bring home this message. Honestly, it's one of the best I've ever heard. I'll warn you, he's not your typical Preacher...He's young and well, he looks like he should be the lead singer in a rock n roll band. Don't tune him out though. This young rocker has an amazing gift as a teacher and he is a genuine man of God. This message is 47 minutes and worth every minute.)

I can write all day long about the mighty work the Lord can do in your life. We can read our Bibles day and night and learn many interesting facts. We can listen to great messages like the one I mentioned above. Friends can pray for us . We can pray for us. But ultimately, until we answer the question, "Who is Jesus to me?" (and make it personal to yourself), I'm not sure we can move forward.

Other questions to consider: "Do you really believe Him?" "Believe in Him?" "Believe that His promises are as true for you as they are for the next person?"

This is just a peek at what's to come in the next few days.

Normal? Who wants to be normal? me me me me me:) Really, sweet sistas...we don't want to settle for plain ole normal. We are much better than that. We are royalty, daughters of the King. Extraordinarily made to live extraordinary lives. Hang on, YOU ARE WORTH IT!

Believing Jesus,

Melissa

you ARE normal

2008-07-21T21:13:00.000-04:00

Sweet Friends,

One of the main questions I've been asked lately is: "Melissa, am I normal?"

Why would so many women ask me that question? Last week, I came forth and proclaimed to the world that:

I've been sexually molested and for years and years I felt shamed and dirty.

I witnessed my grandfather's stroke and it brought nightmares into my life.

My father left my home without warning for good, and it brought feelings of unworthiness and abandonment to me.

The feelings that followed, plagued me. I didn't know why, but for years, (even sometimes still!) I asked God, "Am I normal? What is wrong with me? I know I'm forgiven. I know You love me. Why can't I be intimate with my husband? Why am I so different from my friends? Or at least why do I still feel ugly...dirty...shameful?"

I can't answer these questions with solid answers. But let me share with you something....after I wrote last week's devotions, one thing I KNOW........I'm not alone. There are hundreds and hundreds of other women just like me. Violated, ruined, shamed, and disgraced. But ladies, we are not weird, strange, or abnormal. On the contrary, we are very normal.

I finally came to a point where I refused to believe anything else. My counselor really helped me to see that what I'd been through and even many of my current feelings weren't my fault. At the same time, I'm not defined by my feelings. How I feel is not who I am. I am a child of God. I am holy, righteous, and pure...I don't feel it, but I am. All because of Christ.

So, in answer to the question, "Am I normal?"

"YES, SWEET CHILD OF GOD, YOU ARE NORMAL. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. Do not allow your circumstances or your past to define who you are. You belong to God. You are His."

I will write more. I wish I had more time right now, but I don't.

I love you "Normal Friends" of mine.
Love,

Normal Melissa

Painful Past Make You Feel Ugly?

2008-07-18T16:27:00.000-04:00

Today on my other blog, I Am Beautiful (www.beautifulp31.blogspot.com) , I posted the way being sexually abused as a child affected me today. Visit if you feel so led.

Blessings,

Melissa