Thursday, April 23, 2009

East Mecklenburg High School Reunion

Why is it so hard to get away? Why have the past 2 weeks had......

...Oh y'all, I had to stop this post due to a phone call we just received. A friend, just 44 yrs old died. He was helping my husband plan the reunion we are attending this weekend. His name is Donnie Baucom. Please pray for his sister Monica and their whole family, especially his parents. This was very sudden and unexpected. Jeff is absolutely torn up about it. He just saw him 2 days ago.

Gotta go.


Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Role of Daughter

As a woman, I've found that I wear a lot of hats. When you call me a woman, that name carries so many defintions and roles that it's mind boggling.

Let's try to list them:

Wife. Mother. Sister. Friend. Master (to my doggie Princess). Speaker. Writer. Administrative Assistant. Mentor. Tutor. Cheerleader. House Cleaner. Clothes Washer. Cook. Chauffeur. Encourager. Advocate. Teacher. Leader. Student. Nutritionist. Exerciser. Maid. Office Cleaner. Supporter. Lover. Watcher. Reader. Listener. Learner. Football fanatic. Dancer.

****Notice I never mentioned Fashionista! Or Decorator! I'm not gifted in that way. Oh how I wish I was. But I'm smart enough to realize this. So I seek help in those areas.

****Notice I also didn't mention Daughter. Until now.

Yes, I am a daughter. Daughter of my father and Daughter of my mother.

I've been a daughter since the day I was born. Being a daughter for the most of my life has meant I was the baby. I've been taken care of.

As a baby, my parents changed my diapers, taught me right from wrong, taught me about Jesus, gave me love, gave me security, were there for me whether I succeeded or failed, guided me, gave me advice, and mostly gave me UNCONDITIONAL and UNFAILING LOVE!!!! I soaked it up. And I always knew that I could go to them.

Lately, the role of daughter has taken a drastic turn. Daughter now means I do the taking care of. And that's new.

Cancer has struck my mom. This is a new role for her too. She's used to taking care of those around her. I know it's hard for her to allow others to care for her. I know that. But, God knows How I Miss Her. I miss her coming to my rescue. I miss her driving to Charlotte to take care of me. Now the roles are somewhat reversed. I drive to Rock Hill to see her, spend time with her, and try to take care of her. Although I'm not near as good as it as she is.

My dad is dealing with a different scenario. In the past year, he has gone through his 3rd divorce, lives in an assisted living facility in Greenville, SC, is depressed, has gained weight, diabetes has gotten worse, and overall health is just not good. I don't live as close to him as I do Mom. I try to get him when I can. This past week was one of those times. I went and picked him up and brought him to Charlotte hoping that he would enjoy his visit....attending Hayden's track meet, Dylan's baseball game, and a birthday party in honor of him! And he did. While he was here, I did his laundry and took him shopping for clothes. When I brought him back to his home, I took him grocery shopping and cleaned his apartment.

Please hear me. It is an honor for me to give back to my parents. It is an honor to love them and care for them.

But I have to be honest. I miss being the Daughter.

I've realized that I will probably never be the Daughter again. Or at least the role has changed. Will I be anyone's baby ever again? Maybe. Maybe not. But that's life.

I don't feel 42 years old. There's a huge part of me that still feels 12. Longing for love, protection, security, and guidance. Thank God, He is there for my 12 year old self. I don't ever have to worry about being His caretaker. He will always be there to be mine. That's a wonderful feeling. It brings me peace. I know I have the strength because He provides it. He provides it through His Word, His Presence, and His People.

And I'm thankful for each.



Thursday, April 16, 2009

My Mother in Law Rocks!

I don't think I've ever blogged about my mother in law before. It's about darn time.

My mother in law is just the best. She's kind. She's wise. She's non judgmental. She's forgiving. She's helpful. She's a wonderful grandmother. She's a wonderful wife. She's a wonderful mother. She's beautiful. She's giving. She's so unselfish. She gave birth to the most amazing man ever (my husband!). She's loving. She's a fashionista. And I am so grateful to have her in my life.

There have been many times that she has been there for me. I met her when I was 14 years old. Just so you know, I'm 42 that's a long time. From the day I met her, she made me feel like I was a part of her family. At 14 and at 42.

She has also loved my family. She has loved my mom and her husband, my dad, my sister and her husband and kids....all like they were her own family. Loved unconditionally. She even loves Princess, my dog, like she's family. Each year, she arranges a vacation for us all at the beach. Complete with 4 generations. She's a blessing. A blessing from God.

Today she picked me up at work and we went shopping for clothes. I'm a terrible shopper. She's a great shopper. I went to the dressing room and she brought me clothes to try on. If you've ever seen the show "What Not To Wear"....well, I'd be a great candidate. But today, even Stacey and Clinton would be impressed with my purchases. Not because of my choices, but because of my mother in law's. She just has this knack for selecting clothes that look great. I lost 20 pounds just by the outfits she selected. And I have a high school reunion next week, so that's pretty darn important! And they were all bargains!!!!!

After our shopping spree, she brought me back to the P31 office. She mentioned that she was on her way to Goodwill to drop off some shoes. Well, instead, we took the 4 bags of shoes into the office and well...all of us P31 gals have new shoes now!!!!! How awesome is that???

I know many women don't share or get along so well with their mother in laws. I'm so thankful that I'm not one of those women. My mother in law rocks. And I love her with all my heart.

Thanks so much for all of the prayers. I know I had quite a pity party with my last post. I'm going through a hard time, but I know all will be okay. Thank you for reminding me of that

Blue, but Loving Life,


Tuesday, April 14, 2009


Hey. I'm blue. I really am. I was hesitant. I'm full of self pity and I admit it. It is what it is.

I'm overwhelmed by so much.

My mom....y'all know about her. She's amazing and beautiful. And she's suffering in pain right now. Cancer is consuming her body. It's so hard to watch.

My dad...I've kind of neglected him lately. I haven't seen him since Christmas. His health is not good, but it's more of a daily struggle not so much a terminal thing like Mom's. He has diabetes and depression. The depression is plagueing him at the present time. Hayley Grace and I are going to pick him up tomorrow. It's his birthday and he's lonely. I'm thinking that a visit to Charlotte will do him good. While he's here he will get to go to Hayden's track meet and Dylan's baseball game and we will celebrate his birthday. Hayley Grace and I are going to get him tomorrow. I'm so thankful she's traveling with me.

My kids...all good, but they are involved in so much. Hayley Grace has CheerDance and Hip Hop, Dylan has baseball, Hayden has track, and Blake has CYC (Committed Young Christians).

My husband....Oh my, he rocks. He's been so loving and supportive of me and my feelings. God love him! He loves me. That isn't easy.

My friends....if you only knew. They have stepped in and filled in gaps that I was unaware needed filling. Cleaning my house. Bringing meals. Having my carpets cleaned (I'm sure that was the dirtiest water ever seen!). And giving of a mountain house for a weekend getaway or 2. But there are still those friends who also have many needs and are in hard places right now. I so wish I could do more.

My laundry...ugh. It's ugly. And thankfully my kids don't mind picking their clean clothes out of the clean clothes basket. Or atleast they don't complain. Or that I haven't been cooking much. Hot Pockets and Stouffers have been lifesavers!

My of the highlights of my life. I get uplifted daily from my coworkers who also happen to be great friends. They surround me with prayer. They also have been filling in for me when I can't pull my weight around the office. God bless them!!!! They make me take a break and bring laughter to my days. And I get paid!

My Speaking...God help me. I have an event in 2 weeks and I feel so unprepared. The theme is "Leaving An Eternal Legacy". This has never meant more to me than it does right now. My mom has left a legacy and I'm so aware of that now. I never was before because I had no fear of losing her. She was here. I didn't think of her as a memory. Now, I think of what I can keep of her. What parts of her I can hang on to. Her legacy is huge to me now. This event will be too. I just know God has the plans. I just wish I had them. I also have 2 other events in May. One at my family's church in Greenville, SC and one here in Charlotte where many of my friends will be in attendance.

My Email...I get so many loving emails each day. And I also receive the Proverbs 31 prayer requests each day too. It's so hard because I can't respond to all of my emails. I try, but I fail. That is hard for me. Also the prayer requests we receive each day at Proverbs is so hard. I love these people. I love them. I care for them. I wish I could respond to each one, but I can't. I do read them though. And I send them to our prayer team. But I wish I could connect with them. Just have to trust God that He will take care of them.

So, tonight....I'm blue. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I want to have some time alone. I want to read and write. I guess also, I'm selfish.

That's where God comes in. He provides. Whatever I need, He provides. For today. And that's all I ask.

Blue for today but strength, peace, and love to make it through the day and whatever tomorrow may bring.

Thank you so much for your prayers and love.



*****Edit on April 15th.....
My friends, I love you so much. Thank you for your prayers. I read back over my post. Oh my, I'm so sorry I was having such a pity party!!!!! And I was! But that's really where I was. And kind of still am, but the good news is that I know better than I feel. Thank you for your prayers, love, and care.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Heading to the Mountains...Happy Easter

My family and I are going out of town for Easter weekend...and we need it! We've been under a lot of stress and trials lately and this will be a welcome get away....made possible by our great friends Kenny and Denise.

You may remember a few months ago, Jeff and I had an amazing weekend away together in the mountains. It was at K and D's mtn house. Well, tomorrow we are going back to the same place, only this time with the kids and Princess too. We are so excited! We have movies picked out to watch, games to play, hikes to go on, places to visit, and beautiful views to view from our private balcony!

We will be returning Sunday and attending Easter Sunday service at our church on Sunday evening. I'm so thankful they are having an evening service!Wherever you are and whatever you do, I pray that you will have a blessed Easter. Please take the time to celebrate Jesus, the risen Christ. We are free because of Him and what He did for us.

We will be hunting for eggs, making cookies, and awaiting the Easter Bunny....but we will be celebrating our sins being forgiven most of all. Thank you Jesus! I love you so much. You have made my life possible and worthwhile. You have given me purpose and allowed me to fail and bounce back. Thank you so much.

Happy Easter Y'all!
He is risen!


Monday, April 6, 2009

I Rule Scramble on FaceBook

Tonight I only wish you could've been in my house. Oh, if you were you would have heard me scream, seen me dance, and observed me gloating.

Now, I'm not typically a competitive person. I don't challenge anyone to a game, duel, or anything else. I'm not a risk taker. I get nervous when competing with someone. I get nervous when under pressure or timed. But I do love to play games. And I'm a very gracious loser. "Congrats. Great game." However....

When I win..........."In your face! Move over sucker! Uh huh uh huh. I rock! Take that! Whoo Hoo! Oh yea baby!" It's sad really. When I win, I get totally obnoxious. And I got to get obnoxious tonight.

My friend at work, Samantha, introduced me to Scramble. This is a game on FaceBook that is exactly like Boggle only it's on the computer. I love it and play it way too much. And until tonight I've been perfectly content to be in the middle of the pack among my friends who play Scramble. Samantha has been at the top of my friends, with the highest score for quite some time. She was proud to hold that title. Until a few weeks ago, another friend of mine, Michelle, knocked her off the top. In fact, Michelle's score was so high, we didn't think it was possible. No way anyone could score way.

I remember the first time I broke a 100 on Scramble. It was a sweet personal victory. Then there was the 139. I thought there was no way I could top that. Then I hit 158. Well that was definitely the top for me. I ranked 3rd among my friends. Michelle was 1st, Samantha was 2nd, and I was 3rd. Not no mo!!!!!!!!!! I'm #1!!!

Yes I am. Tonight I scored a 178!!!! Oh if you only knew how impossible this was. I know I shouldn't brag, but I am. When the final score was revealed I screamed and danced around the room. I sang a song in honor of myself. My family ran to see what the heck was happening. I showed them. Then I published my score on my FaceBook wall for all to see. Well, I did that after texting Samantha and sending her a message on FB. She's so good with words, I can't believe I beat her. But I did. Oh yea, I did.

Well, this post really has nothing inspiring, spiritual, or uplifting in it. It's totally selfish and prideful.

And I'm okay with that. I don't rule a whole lot, but I rule Scramble on FaceBook!

Love ya!


***Correction I scored 179, not 178!!!! :)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Love is Impossible

This morning during my quiet time I was reading Day 18 of The Love Dare. The title was, Love is Impossible.

I've been reading The Love Dare for a while, taking my time in completing each dare that is challenged to me. Although I am already very in love with my husband, The Love Dare has challenged me to take my love for him to a higher and more sacrificing level. I have also been given freedom through The Love Dare. Freedom to admit that it's ok and normal to not be "in love" or feel "in love" every day of my life.

Love is impossible for humans. At least unconditional love is. Just try to love someone each and every moment without getting angry or getting even. Without holding a grudge or feeling like you deserve more. Being patient and kind always. Just try it. You can't do it. Only God can. And that's why we have to have Him in us to love our husbands like God does.

Today's dare was to arrange a special dinner just for the 2 of us where I would listen to his heart. I asked him questions that probed into his inner feelings and dreams. He was so suprised when he got home. Dylan greeted him at his car and asked him to come inside. Hayley Grace took him by the hand and led him upstairs to our bedroom. There I had shrimp, cheese bread, wine, and candles on a table covered in a white tablecloth. We had music. And for about an hour and a half we just talked, laughed, and dreamed together. It was like meeting for dinner after work to unwind, only we did it at home. And the kids were so awesome. They reheated leftovers and ate together and left us alone. It was great.

I love my husband very much. And with God's help, I will continue to love and honor him all my life.

I dare you to love your husband.